SCOTT EISEN / GETTY IMAGES

Obviamente, mi esposa Amy, el amor de mi vida, la madre de mis hijos, mi sol, mi luna, mis estrellas. There's no one I like porking more than Amy. That's why I married her. One of the reasons. But if she were busy? Like off raising our three kids? Christy Turlington. Marianne Williamson. Counselor Deanna Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation. That's not to say I am only attracted to women with long brown hair. I like all women. Les amo a todas las mujeres. I am a lover. Soy un amante. I want all of us to love everyone passionately forever. Quiero que todos nos amemos apasionadamente para siempre. That is my vision of love and my vision for America. I even love women with short hair. Mujeres con pelo corto. I watched a lot of Golden Girls in my formative years, and I wanted to stash my sausage in Bea Arthur so bad. If we're talking men, though—yeah, I just prefer long brown hair. I'd bang Chris Cornell if he wouldn't mind being on bottom. And if he were still alive. Estamos tristes que te hayas ido, Chris. But yeah, if I could go back to my vision for America, it's everyone loving everyone. Piles of passion amid the purple mountain majesties. I think it's a beautiful vision. And in the coming months, I will be releasing the names of more people I would personally pork, bang, nail, rail, shag, screw, follar, y coger. It's a long list, and it's getting longer as I type. Vivan los amantes!