Control Tower

Yes! Orgasm Tips For Women

Comments

1
I would also like to point out that some women are not able to orgasm at all, and there's nothing wrong with that. Also, even with practice a woman may never be able to come vaginally. You know why? Everybody's body is different.
2
And then there's the brain side of the equation--I started coming from penetration (with women, but it's not so different!) when I found myself with a really toppy partner. One day I was giving her the "I mostly don't come during sex and that's okay" talk, and the next day I was having ten in a row and absolutely flabbergasted about it! No physical changes, although I've certainly honed the ability that way since--the mental was what really needed a boost.

(Of course, obviously I was physically wired for this to begin with; lots of women aren't, and there's nothing wrong with that.)
3
I can't speak for all women, but if I couldn't orgasm at all ever, I'd sure as hell think there was something wrong with that :)

Is that actually true? Honest question. Because there've been plenty of guys I haven't been able to orgasm with, but it was generally either because they didn't know what they were doing or I didn't know how to tell them what to do.

I guess I'm always skeptical of these claims about women's sexuality, claims like "women just aren't visual the way men are" because it seems that a lot of this stuff is less nature than nurture, you know?
4
So, not really related, but some interesting additional (and geekier) information on female sexuality that I came upon recently:

Discovery Channel did a "Why is Sex Fun?" episode, which is available on YouTube in 3 parts: [1] [2] [3]

And then there's this article about a study on mapping the clitoris, vagina, and cervix on the sensory cortex. The link isn't to the actual study, but to a blog that dissects and analyzes interesting scientific studies. The blog author is awesome!

Anyway, I was also one of those girls who never came from penetrative sex until I actually met someone who was as interested as exploring my body as I was, and who also clicked mentally with me. The tips about exercise and learning to activate certain muscles ring true for me.

@3 It's really hard to say, I think, because women's sexuality is still so stigmatized and under-studied in so many areas. The links above to the "Why is Sex Fun?" videos offer some tantalizing new clues, though.
5
I am surprised more people don't talk about timing during the month. Being aware of where in the woman's cycle the sex is occurring can really help align expectations with reality. The first two weeks after a period: good. By the third or fourth week... not as good. And then one or two days before the period starts: good again.
6
I highly recommend the Peace sign postion for being able to reach orgasm during missionary sex. By far my favorite way to reach orgasm!
7
I hope your article is helpful to many women, but since the majority of women normally experience orgasm clitorally, I would suggest the following tips:

The Basic

Beginning gradually around the edges of the vaginal area (those folds and wrinkles), lick gently around and around, occasionally flicking your tongue gently on the clitoris.

Then, frequently increase the clitoral licks, eventually concentrating on that area and moving to gently suck in the clit, using only your lips (no teeth), always following the cues from your partner as to what is invoking the most pleasure. (Some women prefer super-gentle sucking on the clit, others a bit more suction power.)

While doing this (use lube as required), gently insert one or more fingers into her vagina and rub back and forth if and as possible.

The Hummer

Following the process mentioned in The Basic above, but instead of sucking this time, place your lips around her clitoris and begin a humming sound, causing gentle vibrations on that area. Move up and down the octaves, noting what generates the most pleasurable response in her. (This generally works whether she's musically-inclined or not.)

No Contact Rule

Utilizing one of those small straws which come with those small fruit juice cartons, beging blowing on her vaginal area --- following both circular and up and down pattern.

Avoid any physical contact for quite a few minutes, and hopefully only to further her orgasmic response.

Vibe Assist

Again, following the process in The Basic above, but having a small vibrator along side you, and place it above her clitoris while positioning your tongue below, and vary upward pressure from your tongue, while holding the vibrator against her clit above it.

Quantum Ecstasy

Required: Cling Wrap and lube.

Begin by following the Basic above, but -- assuming your partner is lubed enough and/or amenable -- at the point of inserting your finger(s), insert one or two fingers massaging the upper portion of the vaginal tunnel, while inserting one or two fingers of the other hand and massaging the lower portion of her vaginal tunnel.

During this time you will continue sucking or licking her clit until orgasm.

After the first one or more orgasms, apply lube to one side of a double-folded sheet of Cling Wrap, and apply to her bottom crack, lube side against the sphincter.

Now position yourself at an angle (diagonally or horizontally to her body) and while using both hands in the massaging of her vagina internally as described above, and frequently flicking your pinky against her clitoris, gently insert your tongue into her sphincter, following her cues as to her pleasurable response.

(Some women may react negatively to this, but most find it highly pleasurable, especially as part of the entire process as described above. Much preferred to forms of anal sex as this type of sex is usually unhealthy to the longterm health of the female -- the vagina was designed for penal insertion, not the sphincter -- but there are female exceptions --- but please never push her or pressure her in any manner on the anal sex part.)

Peace and Joy
8
@7: Thank you, sgt.doom!!!! I am taking serious notes.
9
And thank you, too, Mistresse Matisse!!
10
Regarding Mistresse Matisse's exercise suggestion, you might check out Thor's daught and her workout program:

http://boingboing.net/2011/10/22/thors-d…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtk2dSphI…

(I admit I was disappointed she didn't climb the rope "hands alone" but her plyometric jumps are indeed awesome!)

And for those both health and political conscious please also check this out:

http://bcaction.org/

11
God bless you for an excellent column!!