Columns Oct 19, 2011 at 4:00 am

Yes! Orgasm Tips For Women

Comments

1
I would also like to point out that some women are not able to orgasm at all, and there's nothing wrong with that. Also, even with practice a woman may never be able to come vaginally. You know why? Everybody's body is different.
2
And then there's the brain side of the equation--I started coming from penetration (with women, but it's not so different!) when I found myself with a really toppy partner. One day I was giving her the "I mostly don't come during sex and that's okay" talk, and the next day I was having ten in a row and absolutely flabbergasted about it! No physical changes, although I've certainly honed the ability that way since--the mental was what really needed a boost.

(Of course, obviously I was physically wired for this to begin with; lots of women aren't, and there's nothing wrong with that.)
3
I can't speak for all women, but if I couldn't orgasm at all ever, I'd sure as hell think there was something wrong with that :)

Is that actually true? Honest question. Because there've been plenty of guys I haven't been able to orgasm with, but it was generally either because they didn't know what they were doing or I didn't know how to tell them what to do.

I guess I'm always skeptical of these claims about women's sexuality, claims like "women just aren't visual the way men are" because it seems that a lot of this stuff is less nature than nurture, you know?
4
So, not really related, but some interesting additional (and geekier) information on female sexuality that I came upon recently:

Discovery Channel did a "Why is Sex Fun?" episode, which is available on YouTube in 3 parts: [1] [2] [3]

And then there's this article about a study on mapping the clitoris, vagina, and cervix on the sensory cortex. The link isn't to the actual study, but to a blog that dissects and analyzes interesting scientific studies. The blog author is awesome!

Anyway, I was also one of those girls who never came from penetrative sex until I actually met someone who was as interested as exploring my body as I was, and who also clicked mentally with me. The tips about exercise and learning to activate certain muscles ring true for me.

@3 It's really hard to say, I think, because women's sexuality is still so stigmatized and under-studied in so many areas. The links above to the "Why is Sex Fun?" videos offer some tantalizing new clues, though.
5
I am surprised more people don't talk about timing during the month. Being aware of where in the woman's cycle the sex is occurring can really help align expectations with reality. The first two weeks after a period: good. By the third or fourth week... not as good. And then one or two days before the period starts: good again.
6
I highly recommend the Peace sign postion for being able to reach orgasm during missionary sex. By far my favorite way to reach orgasm!
8
@7: Thank you, sgt.doom!!!! I am taking serious notes.
9
And thank you, too, Mistresse Matisse!!
11
God bless you for an excellent column!!

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