Hey, chick-chick-chickens! It's time once again for an official Drunk of the Week poetry contest! The winning poem will be published in The Stranger's Queer Issue on June 24. The winner will also receive a pair of custom-made DOTW underwear. Here's a line of perfect prose to get your poem started:
"Hickory dickory dock / I looked up and saw a beer-drinking cock..."
Finish this poem and submit it below in the comments.