I, Anonymous

Thanks for Being an Absent Father

Comments

1
Um...small dick, smelled like a pervert, (What does that smell like, anyway? I'm worried.) and you not only stuck around with him for three years, but you helped perpetuate his gene pool?
2
I hate pervert odor
3
Well said. The "ideal" is one thing. In many cases, however, kids are much better off without both a mother and a father.
4
One weird, infeffectual parent down, one to go. You can do it, kid, we're rooting for you.
5
When he proposed to you, I'm assuming he asked you to marry him, couldn't you just say "No Thanks, smelly perv."
6
Is the small penis thing the only insult women can come up with, or what?

You married him. His dick must have been ok with you at the time.
7
Look, lady. Glenn Beck has responsibilties at home. Quit your whining.
8
What is it with all the negativity? She's venting, let her vent! Jeez!
9
Isn't the pervert smell called patchouli?
10
Yes, your son is better off without him. But why did it take you so long to figure that out? For the first three years of his life, your son was a witness to domestic abuse. How could you have allowed that to happen? You should have left the first time he hit you.

Don't whine about being a victim. You are much more capable of protecting yourself than your son is. Kids count on their parents to protect them from stuff like that. Most of the fault lies with the abuser but I'm so sick of society letting these weak women who don't protect their own kids off the hook.

I suggest you get some counseling to make sure you don't make the same mistake again. Your boy is counting on you!
11
BTW, what does a pervert smell like? I just can't figure that one out!
12
Perverts smell like Old Spice and Soy sauce...
13
If this is some sort of reverse psychology to get your husband back, I don't think it's going to work.
14
I think this chick should be a lot madder than she is. There's an undertone of complacency here.
15
Actually, the term is almost 20 years old. Kurt Cobain's working title was Smells Like Pervert, until Bruce Pavitt suggested he use "Teen Spirit" instead of "Pervert." The rest is history.
16
I smell like pervert and I'm offended by the comparison.
17
oh GAWD quit with the preachin, #10, and quit stating the obvious. Are all your decsions good ones? She learned a lesson. Now STFU and leave her be.
18
I am a pervert and I smell delightful, thanks to Jo Malone. And as I don't have a whoopsie the size of a cave, teeny tiny penii do me just fine.
19
Yet you picked him...You elected to spend three years with him.You thought breathing his pervert stank was hot shit for three years..Stop your whining about your bad choices and your lousy decisions..No one wants to attend your self-pity party..
20
Yet you picked him...You elected to spend three years with him.You thought breathing his pervert stank was hot shit for three years..Stop your whining about your bad choices and your lousy decisions..No one wants to attend your self-pity party..
21
Perverts smell like whiskey sweat and unwashed, cum-stained polyester slacks.
22
#21: Right on! That's why I drink rum.
23
Hey you bunch of holier-then-thou fuckwits.
She left him!
Ever been a beaten wife who is financially and emotionally dependent on an increasingly abusive asshole?
Ever felt like you actually had NO OTHER CHOICE but to put up with it?
Well, leaving isn't easy.
Perhaps you all should take off the retro shades and pop out the ear buds and have a look outside your special little twenty-something whitebread bubble.
Or just have a look back in 10 years and tell us how fucking special you are, and what great choices you always made.
She left him.
Good on you, sister.
24
Ummm, hey #23, she doesn't say she left him. She says he bounced. That's different.

Weak women piss me off.
25
#23 you need to re-read the paragraph for comprehension.

She didn't leave him, he bounced.

At least in my whitebread bubble I can understand a 5 sentence paragraph. What's your excuse?
26
@23: "Ever been a beaten wife who is financially and emotionally dependent on an increasingly abusive asshole?"

No. Does this mean I can't comment here, or that if do comment, I have to say something nice?
27
Its cool.. one parent builds character
28
For those of you who continue to insist on commenting after every I, Anonymous article, have you ever wondered if perhaps you don't get the point of this column in the first place?
29
Pssst.... Monkwild-- IA serves two purposes. One is for people to get embarrassing/angry/malevolent stuff off their chests. The other purpose is for Stranger readers to feel superior by condemning the writers. So let Spiffy et al. have their fun. They all have crappy jobs/family/spouses & this makes them feel alive. Have a heart!
30
you could have broken up with him.
you could have not married him.
you could have gotten on birth control.
you could have got an abortion.

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE YOU DUMB BITCH
31
psssst #29 - another purpose of commenting is to shred dumbass generalizing mischaracterizing comments such as yours.

and perhaps some of us are simply seeking a few moments of harmless entertainment?

#30 - right on.

32
At least she didn't call him a prevert.
33
looks like ol spiffy d is fired up over this one! got riled up in 24, stewed for 15 minutes, then wrote almost the exact same post again. no wonder you chose segal for your pic spif, you're one dangerous mutha!
34
You weren't any good, your dick was small, and you smelled like a pervert.

And yet, he made you so hot that you threw your legs wide open and begged him impregnate you. BTW, how do you know what a pervert smells like? Are they handing out "pervert scented" scratch and sniff cards at walmart these days?
35
Copious amounts of Axe body spray?
36
Taco Bell and Swisher Sweets.
37
Wow, way to not take any responsibility for yourself. You sound just like my mother, with her "poor me" victim mentality. So you made your mistakes, now get over it and move on. And don't lecture your kid about how horrible his dad is, because teaching children to hate just destroys them for your own selfish satisfaction.
38
to take away the heat on the mom posting this, i was born a bastard to a nonexistent dad, with a ca-ra-zay loon as a mom, and i turned out just fine; everyone deserves a mom and a dad = ridiculous. your life is what you make it. not to make this all existentialist, but this kid totally has a chance, if he doesn't fall down his mom's resentful rabbit hole.
39
I once heard a neighbor yell at the top of her lungs "you have a tiny penis and you cum too fast" for all the hood to hear. He beat her, the cops came took him away, he was back the next morning after she pawned the VCR. I'm just saying...
40
Sorry growler. I didn't mean to post the same thing twice but my CPU was fritzing so I was thinking the first one didn't go thru. The mere thought of one of my awesome comments not being posted is too horrible to comtemplate.

#38 - I agree with you completely, although with your screen name of "stainer" it begs the question of whether you turned out just fine.
41
Sometimes, when people are in abusive relationships, they can't see that they're in them because they're partner spends a lot of time and energy convincing them that they are worthless and therefore deserving of the abuse. It's not about being weak. Abusers are also manipulators, and they are not abusive all the time, It's not as easy as one might think to "just leave". It's called "the cycle of abuse" for a reason.
42
oops, their
43
The time to kick someone to the curb is the very first time they put unfriendly hands on you. Domestic violence tends to escalate and while there is always a "first time" for one partner to be violent towards the other (not talking about consensual acts here)that first event is very, very rarely the last.

This woman's mistake was in not bailing at the very first opportunity after the very first time he behaved abusively.... but I'm glad he's out of the child's life.

Now, she needs to petition the courts for a severence of parental rights.
44
I propose we have a contest to describe what a pervert smells like. I think "Taco Bell and Swisher Sweets" is a strong contender. My entry: BenGay and Mikes Hard Lemonade. Though I hear Michael Jackson smelled of Ozone and talcum powder.
45
#41 you make a good point. but when a baby enters into the equation it becomes larger than yourself. that kid is helpless and depends on you for protection. for the sake of the kid and yourself you need to get the fuck out of the situation however you can. sure, that's easier said than done.

I wonder if female perverts smell any different or better than males? Hmmmmm. Must ponder this. I believe a sniff-test is in order.
46
Reading these comments, I don't understand Seattle's reputation as being bleeding heart liberal. You all sound like a bunch of privileged white republicans to me. You might as well be saying, "Hey homeless people, just go get jobs!" Or "Hey, gangsters, just quit your gangs." Because it's all just that easy, right?

I grew up next door to a woman with three kids who's husband chased her out into the driveway with a shotgun and beat their toddler with a belt in front of their kitchen window. She stayed with him because she simply couldn't afford to leave, since she was a stay-at-home mom. Also, she was afraid for her safety if she were to try to leave. Who knows why this I Anon woman stayed? Maybe she was afraid if she left, he'd kill her?
47

Congrats on the "Taco Bell and Swisher Sweets" definition. It made me laugh and shudder at the same time. That has to be the Essence of Perv.
48
Whoa there Spiffy!
Buck up little guy, and don't get so wild.
Breath... and ask yourself: "what would Steven do?"
He would do some swift Aikido action on perv-dick-BOUNCE-dad and rescue the "weak" girl.
And if she was a hot Inuit broad (read Asian) he might even save her people.
We are not perfect creatures, and life is a journey of learning.
It bodes well for us to practice compassion toward those who are struggling and suffering on that journey.
And when they stand up and get angry about 1) having been abused and 2) having stuck around so long, they are beginning to heal and to change (we hope).
Perhaps they are asking to celebrate that change with them.
They might just do the same for us one day, yeah?
Oh, and if you don't like weak broads, just don't fuck them.
49
Oh, HELL no, #46.
Beat her toddler with a belt? Sorry, you lost me there.
I stayed in an abusive relationship for 3 years, because I wanted to be home and raise my two baby girls until I thought they were old enough to be in full time daycare. I took it because I was the one who had picked him, and they shouldn't have to pay the consequences of my bad judgment, and to me, dropping my infants in daycare for 9 hours a day was not in their best interest. The father was never, EVER abusive towards them, or even aggressive toward me around them, because he knew that would be where everything changed, instantly.
What exactly was the neighbor afraid of? What do you mean, she feared for her safety "if she tried to leave?" They were all in danger right in their home! What could possibly have been worse than being chased by a lunatic with a shotgun, or watching her young children viciously attacked? And where did her duty to protect those children that she brought into the world come in?
I'm sorry you think that's judgmental, but you know what? I was there, and my way out was to take responsibility for the innocent people I brought into it. I would have killed a man who tried to whip my baby.
And yes, I do consider myself to be very liberal. But even liberals have responsibilities.
50
It's cool Monkwild. I don't fuck weak broads, I married a strong one.

Regarding perv odor, in my experience they smell like beef jerky and the west wing of the downtown Seattle Public Library.
51
These are, for the most part all great comments. Reading these has made me come to one conclusion. Never will I make a comment that may discourage someone from opening up about this sort of thing in the future. Imagine the abused person who has not yet opened up about it. I wouldn't want to push them back into hiding by a careless comment.
52
#49 - damn right!
53
#49, she did leave eventually manage to leave him though I don't know what caused her to make that decision. I'm saying it takes time, and isn't as easy for some people as it is for others.

Of course it's not right for anyone to subject their kids to violence. But not everyone comes from the same background, has the same emotional or financial stability, support etc...to make the choices that seem so obvious to those of us lucky enough to not have their problems, and that dismissing this poor woman as a "dumb bitch" who won't take responsibility for her life is flat out heartless, especially given the fact that she HAS done so, it's just taken her a while.
54
Especially when it's much more satisfying to make fun of someone for their lack of proofing and editing skills...
55
I'd learn Karate.
56
#53: She did not “eventually manage to leave him”, she clearly stated that he ditched her. However, this isn’t even the issue. It’s her immature and petty attitude about the situation. “Your dick was small”? I mean, really? Yeah, poor her, whatever. The fact is, she also married him, she also allowed herself to get pregnant, and she also stayed in the relationship.

For the record, I’ve been in a violent abusive relationship, and yes it was very difficult to stand up for myself, but I don’t hear myself bitching about it like the world should feel sorry for me. It’s annoying when people act this way, and trying to sympathize just encourages their self-pitying behavior.
58
no no no she didn't marry him. He married her ! Can't you read? He married her, then he got her pregnant (er ... knocked her up). What was she to do? It's like identity theft, you don't know these things have happened until it's too late.

You're talking about a woman who says "knocked up" for pregnant and "bounced" for divorced ... so it's not only fake but fake by a retarded broad.

Credit where it's due: "you smell like a perv" is pretty pro.
59
I think a pervert smells like Belllingham did when the GP plant was still in operation. That was stinky.
60
Let me offer the first objective, non-insulting view:

A woman not leaving an abusive relationship is a COMMON psychological response based on certain trends in the woman's life, background, financial reasons and quite a few other factors.

MANY domestic abuse victims don't leave their situation or they may actually try to several times, either being found and terrorized, but believing promises of "change" while they are in a mentally unstable mindset. The longer they stay, whether it is out of obligations they feel they have, a way of life that feels stable/the same, or whatever, it affects their psyche even more- self esteem drops, depression sets in, eating disorders can set in and many other unhealthy situations can occur. This makes it harder to leave.

There have been hundreds of REPORTED cases and estimated thousands of unreported cases of a partner hunting down, terrorizing and punishing their wife, girlfriend, etc. There have been cases of murder.

The psychology behind this is pretty in depth and I suggest you read up on it, should it truly interest you. Somehow I doubt that it does and the insults are just to compare the size of your e-penises.

Gotta hand it to you, though: "perv smell" was indeed funny. I guess it's also funny when a woman with a warped mind from abuse who can't see the obvious solution you see comes into a clinic with severe burns and a stab wound because she tried to leave. Awesome.

Source: Many textbooks and clinical psych books; Doctoral Forensic Psych major.
61
I'm with TV Dinner (@1). It's too bad she didn't leave his sorry ass before getting pregnant.
62
Paradox (#60): THANK YOU. Christ.

Congrats, Anonymous, for getting to this point and being all right.
63
This should be titled "Expressing regret over 3 years later." The fact is, this lady picked a doozy... Way to go, lady. You are the MVP.
64
sounds like she hit a nerve with all you abusive jerks....just like asking all the abusers to raise your hands, and you did! love it!
66
call you mother and tell her you love her...you obviously need some attention. have a great day!
67
bitch better learn how to make a sandwich if she has any hope for a better doublewide relationship
69
Wow way to go to all the supremely superior insta-geniuses for ruining an otherwise very funny post that can celebrate a woman getting out of an inhumane situation. So what's your first reaction? To treat her inhumanely. Interesting, that by default you side with her abuser, and tell her to quit whining. What perfect, never-done-wrong winners you are.

monkwild, I <3 you. You are one of the few intelligent people left on the Internet.
70
Oh, and by the way, if it were some MAN posting about getting rid of his abusive, harpy wife, you would be cheering him on, instead of lecturing he stop whining and take responsibility.

A bunch of self righteous hypocrites, you are.
71
It's funny how some people assume that anyone who criticizes a "victim" has never been a victim themselves, yet most of these same people have never been in the same situation either.

Look, just because you've had shit happen to you doesn't mean you're exempt from personal responsibility, and if you're going to put your complaint up for all to see, don't expect everyone to just pat you on the back.
72
#70, no shit! Remember Trent Moorman's fucking full-page article whining about how some girlfriend was mean to him? And 90% of the men who responded to him said something like, "Oh, Trent, I feel your pain. Bitches are so mean!!!!" And somehow no one accused him of whining or being a dumb bitch (except for me about 20 times on that post)? What the fuck is wrong with Seattle guys that they are so overtly hypocritical?
73
@ 70, 72:

People are hypocrites all over. It's not limited by sex or geography.

The guy here beat his woman and cheated on her. If that was the limit of her venting, she probably would have gotten more support here. However, she also appears to blame this guy for her getting married and pregnant, things in which she presumably played an active role. This part of why both women and men have given her a hard time.

Also, it is possible to be critical of her without taking his side.
74
My analysis is that the people doing the Hating are the same people, that are thinking this while reading.
" how could this asshole have ever gotten this girl to fall for him? I am such a nice guy, with a good job, I treat women with respect, and I can't get anywhere with the ladies, and this stupid cunt is giving it up for an asshole, whe she could have had a man like me, you studip fuckin bitch I hate you for picking him and not me"

All you haters are losers that cant get laid, even if you had a million bucks in a whore house
75
@ 74:

You have a very generous standard for what supposedly constitutes "analysis."

76
You take no responsibility at all for your choices. You had no idea he was abusive before you were knocked-up and married to him? Either you were having unprotected sex way too soon, or you liked the fact that he was supporting you/keeping you from being alone with yourself.

For goodness sake, it's called birth control, use it!
77
Why is it that most of the responses on here are lecturing Anonymous on her responsibility and ignoring the responsibility of her abusive ex partner. Both parents are responsible for the safety and well being of the child. It is wrong to beat your partner. Why isn't there more hate directed at abusive jerks and less at their victims?

Sure, no kid deserves to be born into a situation like that. Sure, she chose to be with her abusive husband. But seriously, abusers are charming at first. We don't know this woman's whole story. Let's assume that she was doing the best she could under extremely trying circumstances. Cutting up the mother does nothing to help the child. Why can't we care about both of them? Why can't we put the blame where it belongs: on the abuser?