I, Anonymous

Your Wedding Sucks

Comments

1
Yuck. That wedding sounds appalling.
2
Wedding-fundraiser.
3
Sounds like the worst wedding EVER, I bet the bride gets pissed off about writing thank you notes too
4
Auction off the first night!! Commit!
5
It's cool, Anonymous, your "Thank You" card is in the mail!
6
Sounds pretty cool. Can you get me a ticket?
7
Hahaha. That really is tacky. Are there no parents or in-laws to put a stop to that mess? But you have also committed a crime. "Invite" is a verb.
8
@4, that would be appropriate. As a fall-back, I hope the bride and groom consumated the marriage in full view as the crowning event of the evening. Carnival games aren't worth $20.
9
I guess I'm tacky, but I don't see the problem asking for money rather than household items. The traditional wedding gift harkens back to a day when couples weren't living together in sin for years before getting married.

That said, charging for food is really unacceptable.
10
2 wedding deals in a row? Starting a theme for this column?
11
Charging people for the privilege of attending your wedding?! Holy shit. That is the most repulsive display of egotism I've heard of in a long time.
12
This is so hilarious, I can't believe it. The bride's bad taste knows no bounds. Is she going to have bouncers at the VIP area? "I vow to love, honor, and kick my guests' butts."

This definitely calls for a food fight - hey - you paid for it!
13
You know I'm trying to kick my habit of leaving such negative posts here. I'm going to try to give this Anon the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she's just found a really creative way of shortening the guest list?
14
ooh...shoot..I meant the Anon's target: the Bridezilla
15
i was at that wedding, and a VIP. didn't spend a dime. got drunk as fuck, and nailed a bridesmaid. BOOOOOOYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
16
I call bullshit on this "I, Anonymous". NO ONE could possibly be this tacky, could they? I've heard some wedding horror stories, but this would take the prize if it was real. Let's see the invite; I want NAMES!
17
Did they supply an atm machine wrapped in a bow for the last minute withdrawals that some guest might "want" to make?
18
Only "half"?
19
So, the invitations MEAN to tell people "I want you at the wedding, but I also want remind you that you're in the 'out crowd'"?

Sounds like the happy couple are still mentally in high school and still want to decide who gets to sit at the "cool kids table" in the lunchroom of life.

20
Some of my younger friends have attended similar events, including equally creepy fundraiser style bridal showers designed to try to scrape in more money. I suspect the bridezilla learned of such things from the internet.

I don't remember anything this tacky 20 years ago. But maybe I just didn't know the wrong people.
21
I know no-one will read down this far, but...

What's your beef with Papyrus font?
22
@9: Yeah. I was thinking: Money can also be a cultural tradition. Chinese weddings? Italian and Portuguese? And probably others.

That said, if I wrote "cash preferred", I'd still have a registry for those who might want to use it and completely understand if people felt more comfortable giving a gift and not overtly revealing how much they're able to afford for me. Making your guests comfortable should be a priority of any host/hostess.

@16: Ditto! Kind of surreal.
23
@10: I think it's just that time of year.
24
EWWWWWWW!
Now, I admit to being so snippy and old fashioned that I still view gift registries with a certain amount of suspicion, though I'm not sure how else a couple is supposed to make their preferred china and silver patterns known. (It IS a quandry because these days chances are slim that a guest knows at least one set of parents and half of the bridesmaids well enough to ring them up and ask "So, what would Jim and Susie like as a wedding gift?")

But this- this is beyond the pale.
The use of the Papyrus font is the least offensive thing this Anon. mentions.... and I fear for the children produced by this couple. I'm imagining them charging 5 bucks a head for family and friends to attend their kindergarten pagent and shaking people down at birthdays, holidays and graduations.

To the couple: Guess what? Life is NOT a game of Monopoly- you are not owed a bonus for reaching the milestones.
25
@21, in design circles, it's very vogue to shit on "decorative" fonts like Papyrus and poor, beleaguered Comic Sans...
That being said, though they ARE fairly tacky fonts that should never be used professionally, it's JUST a wedding invite.

& @7: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/i…
It's cool, I think we can say that Slog vernacular is decidedly "informal."
26
LeBeau, I think you meant, "Life is not a game of Life."

That said, i wish I knew these people so I could bring along some drunks and methheads and crash the gate. If they are going to charge festival prices, they should learn that they have to have festival security too.
27
I know several couples that I am amazed, given some of the collective egos, didn't charge people to go to their weddings.
28
@7 These people are clearly the products of broken homes, possibly abused as children. Either that, or raised by wolves. They obviously have no idea about the foundation of a lasting marriage.
29
@9 and @22 You can't actually ask for anything, cash or gifts. A wedding is not an opportunity to shake down your friends and relatives. You may create a gift registry and *hope* people will be kind enough to give you something, but no one is obligated to give the happy couple anything. That's why they are called presents instead of payment. @22 makes a ggod point that in some cultures money is a traditional gift, but it is still a present. These people sound horrible, Anonymous has every reason to be outraged and call them on it.
30
Bridezilla is a cunt. I don't use that word lightly.

@7: "invite" is an acceptable abbreviation for the noun "invitation".

@16: Yes, there are people this tacky. I've known some. Bell curve...

I hope that the concepts of "wedding gifts" and "parents of the bride pay for the wedding" are becoming passe. I find the showzilla idea of weddings offensive and wasteful, and at the age of most wedding couples gifts are just unnecessary. Unsolicited gifts are welcome, but gifts should never be required. If you don't have enough money for a honeymoon, save up and go later. My "honeymoon" has been romantic getaways to various McMenamin's accommodations.

If parents want to chip in for a wedding, that's cool, but expecting it when you're 25 or 30 is just ridiculous. Are you an adult or not?

(departs from soapbox--just my opinion, ya know?)
31
@ 9, asking for money instead of presents is always tacky, regardless of the occasion.
32
Following up my thought @ 31, there are some cultures where that's traditional as @ 22 points out. But this couple is obviously going way beyond that.
33
@9 and @22, one way to "ask for cash" without really asking for cash is to use one of these "honeymoon registry" sites they have nowadays. You register for nights at your hotel, dinners, activities, etc., but it's really just a cash gift -- the person buying it feels like they're actually buying something and not just giving cash, though. I've definitely appreciated this as a guest, because I hate just giving cash, for some reason.

I would be willing to bet my left arm that this couple did not go that route, however.
34
Given the people I know in the Burner circles, I wonder what number marriage this is for each of them. Also, I give it 3 years.

Charging at the door for your wedding party is tacky no matter what. But, making money off your friends is the burner way...regardless of whether you have anything to actually contribute.
35
Oh, and I have no problem giving just cash. It saves me a lot of hassle because I hate shopping. And, a lot of people I know who are on their first marriage could truly use the money for things like rent, food, gas, electricity, beer, etc instead of purely materialistic things they may not be able to fit into their current 500 sq ft apartment.
36
@31. Depends how it's done. Opening a registry is no different from saying "hey, help us buy stuff we need" (or as 9 pointed out, "we don't really need because we already have two sets of everything)".
Asking for money specifically for your honeymoon (not to pay your utility bills. That would be tacky) is saying "help us spend some memorable time together".
37
i hope anon prints this out and sends it in lieu of the RSVP. fucking burners.
38
Stupid Americans!
39
@ 36, good point.
40
@34 - good insight. Glad I'm not part of the inner, outer, or known circle of anyone like these schnozzles. Burn the man (and woman), indeed.
41
I would have turned around and left....seriously, who else here would have to, raise your hands
42
stating a preference for cash seems fine, but the rest of it...yuck! The VIP section is especially horrible.
43
@41 I probably would have stayed and had fun. However, there is no chance in hell I would have bought them a present. Pay for a meal/drink/entertainment and then give them cash too? No freakin' way.
44
@41 I probably would have stayed and had fun. However, there is no chance in hell I would have bought them a present. Pay for a meal/drink/entertainment and then give them cash too? No freakin' way.
45
As soon as I saw no free liquor that invitation would have went right in the trash.
46
yeah - I just got married last year. The weddings I went to that were dry or cash bar were the least fun. These people came a long way to see me get hitched, the least I can do is wine, dine, and throw a good party!

We did the registry thing, also got a fair amount of cash: all the thank you notes for cash included a note about what we spent it on (I got a great stove). Like anyone was going to by me a $2k stove....? :-)
47
Yeah, it's tacky as sh!t, but at least they're spelling out their price. If it's worth that price to you ($20 is a good deal--if that's the stated charge, I'd take it) then go. If not, then I guess you're busy that night washing your hair. Personally I think it sounds like a great opportunity to drop these people. But that's just me being a hater.
48
BTW, @29 and @31 are right. A wedding is a party you throw for your guests to thank them to take time off and fly somewhere to watch you you you on your big day. Any gifts they may bring or send are just gravy.

A discreet registry, information supplied only upon request, is OK. But that's it. Gifts are never mentioned on an invitation.
49
I have no problem with a cash bar (well, that's not true, obviously I'd rather be at a reception without a cash bar than with one). There is such a thing as a flask, you know. Sometimes extended families are religious, and sometimes there's not enough money in the budget, etc., etc. I consider that to be about a 3 out of 10 on the tackiness scale (having guests pay for food is a 10, the VIP area is an 11).
50
@47 it seemed that the $20 was on top of whatever gift you gave them for the extra guests.

@49 the only way the VIP area isn't tacky is if it's for the talent who are doing it pro Bono.
51
Just because you don't like how one couple is planning their wedding doesn't mean you have the right to discriminate against the rest of us burners. That being said, I'll admit that I personally wouldn't sell tickets to my wedding but it's their wedding! They have the right to do what they want or pay for it however they want. If people don't like it, then don't go.

Asking photographer friends to work for free - I think it's better than leaving disposable cameras on the tables for guests to use. I've always hated that tradition!

Charging money for carnival games - more fun then pimping the bride to earn a dollar every time she dances with some drunk guy at the reception!
52
@51 You are a prime example of the reason I left the burner community.

Discriminate the whole burner community? Hyperbole much? Bitch, please. Denigrate, Belittle, Disparage, maybe... But discriminate? Fuck off. Nobody said the rude motherfuckers couldn't do what they wanted...but I would sure bitch them out.
53
Fuck you burning raver hippies. I saw my wedding as an opportunity to have a kick ass family reunion and it was. I could give two shits I'm still paying for it two years later.
54
this is about my wedding. None of you know me, or my fiance. Considering you do not have the invitation in front of you to fully understand the details leaves all of your comments flawed in some way. I'm just so destroyed that some one would reach out to publicly humiliate me in such a way to try and ruin my wedding day.
55
Phantomburned- If you are in fact the bride, you have hopelessly confused the protocol for planning a rave or festival, nominally open to the public and frankly commercial events at which money is due for whatever entertainments or refreshments are offered and the concept of planning a WEDDING a solemn and we hope joyful *private* function to which friends and family are invited as guests. A wedding should be planned within the budget of the hosts. Guests do not pay for admission- that's what customers do.
56
why would i lie about being publicly humiliated. and once again.. the details bitched about. are NOT accurate.
57
i'm exhuasted. i'm planning a wedding.. a carnival..and a freakshow. everyone can say what they will. i can't waste my time reading what a group of people think... who don't actually know what's going on. given what was stated i can understand the arguments and points people are making.. but in the same respect.. this is about some one's wedding day.... you don't have all the facts... i mean.. really? ...i wouldn't shit all over any of your ideas or lives...you have no idea of what my life is like.. you have no idea of how i feel.. and none of you actually care .. you just want some one else to shit on and bitch about. i would love to take the person who wrote this and sit with them.. and talk to them.. and look in their fucking face and ask them.. what did i ever do to you to pick me apart and so publicly and inaccurately. i'm hurt, and annoyed.. so you've done what you sought out to do. i hope you feel better.. i really do.
58
I am a guest at this wedding and I will be happily donating. I think it is ridiculous that this was even posted here. We are her friends. We care about them and are going to go because we love them and I look at it as I am giving them a GIFT not an entry fee. Please don't hurt the people I love it's not fair. Would you want someone posting about your wedding or you childs birth or whatever happy occasion you choose and ripping it to shreds? You live your way and we will live ours how we choose, now please really just let this drop.
59
If you can't afford the wedding of your dreams either a) wait until you can or b) settle for something less. My husband and I got married young and poor. Even though I had dreams of a big, beautiful wedding we married at the courthouse with 5 witnesses and then went out to dinner. Three years later and we have still not had a honeymoon.

These sound like people who feel completely entitled for no good reason!
60
I am another guest and in the wedding party as well. The details put forth by this I-anonymous post were taken out of context and even inaccurate. I can only assume this was not a person invited but a person who has only seen an invitation given to someone else.. I couldn't imagine any of the friends/ invitees to this occasion would be that ruthless, judgmental and mean spirited. The bride and groom have put a huge effort into this wedding to make their special day unique and enjoyable for everyone invited. The request for money instead of gifts is not required, is not an unusual request and is perfectly acceptable. If you have a problem because this wedding is not "traditional" or say "not how a wedding should be", who are you to judge? A wedding is what the bride and groom choose to make it. To you, I-anonymous poster: I don't understand what could possibly move you to publicly ridicule two of my best friends for the way they have chosen to celebrate their marriage, as it doesn't affect you or your well being in the slightest. You obviously have serious unhappiness inside of you and way too much time on your hands.
61
Has anyone stopped to think how horrible and assholish the person writing this is? your all bitching about the bride or the groom when your only hearing half the story, and from someone who is obviously angry....this person was obviously invited, meaning they are suppose to be a "friend" or family member and they're writing to the stranger? Bringing this all out for the public to bitch and complain about, and most likely making the people, getting married, doing it the way they want to in a way that makes them happy feel like total crap? What a pussy!

I can't imagine this being as extreme as this person is trying to make it. But it sounds like, even from him, the only people they are making pay are uninvited people...if I didn't invite you to my wedding, and you want to come, then heck yes, pay your way. Obviously its gotta be pretty cool if people not invited WANT to come....and in that respect cut them some slack...it is still their wedding, and if I was the bride I’d be crying myself to sleep right now...Shitty way to start an event that is suppose to be a once in a lifetime thing…

62
Only self-centered pieces of shit ask their photographer friends to shoot for free. The super lazy pieces of shit make the request by form letter. They did it only because they know a decent wedding photog runs over $3K.

I would have paid the $20, grabbed the mic during dinner and asked the bride to earn that $20.

Then I would have stood on the head table, dropped my pants and dropped a deuce.

I do not kid.
63
Well, perhaps those who are claiming to be part of this wedding could explain why it's not as it's been presented here. Then we wouldn't be all in your shit.
64
Sweetheart, I'll bet you're busy with a wedding and a carnival and a freakshow. That's the problem with destination weddings (and this is basically a destination wedding that never leaves town): you're assuming that the kind of entertainment you want to pay for is the same thing everybody else wants to pay for. "Oh but" the destination-planners say, "everybody loves Hawaii/Disneyland/a Rush concert/an astronomy lecture/a Caribbean cruise/Corfu!" Well, maybe, maybe not.

Sure, the people who are happy to pay your asking price for a scaled-down, shitty festival are going to pay it. You may be surprised how many people won't. If you want to make sure that everyone at the wedding will share your exact idea of what kind of good time is worth paying for, then you've got it. But if you actually want everybody you invite to want to come, you've got to pay for it yourself. 
65
Whenever i get a wedding invite that states "cash bar" unless I am FORCED to go because of whoever it is, I reduce my monetary gift by half. Just so you know, you are shortchanging yourself by doing that. Seriously what would it cost $500 to get a bunch of kegs and maybe 2 cases of cheepass liqour? People go to wedding for free booze, not to immerese themselves in your ridicoulous "experience". And yes, stating "money prefered" is tacky as hell. I want an update on what actually happens with this..I bet they have about half or less invited actually show. Like I said, saying CASH bar at any wedding will not only make people NOT want to come, those that do will not give as generous a gift.
66
@51
@61
if i may say or rather write you are holes.
I am sorry i did not phrase myself correctly you are ass holes.
Yet again, I am sorry i did not make myself clear you are freaking fucking ass holes.
@61 your english sucks
67
I miswrote that. I wont go to a wedding if it's cash bar, unless it's someone's I absolutley have to go to. And I will add for all those homebrewers, Sure I'll try your grog, but please if your going to offer up your batch at your wedding, get some pabst or something on tap too even if it offends your beer snob sensibilites, because I've seen what happens at a wedding with contaminated homebrew and its not pretty.
68
it's strange that the "bride" and "guests" who posted here have yet to report back with an explanation of the inaccuracies so we can all start hating on the correct target...
69
"i'm exhuasted. i'm planning a wedding.. a carnival..and a freakshow."

That's for fucking sure! Thanks for being such a sport! Ha ha!
70
The bride should be able to wipe her tears away with the entry fee, if not the profit from the food and drink.

Anonymous probably thought they were a decent friend, not a wallet with legs and hugs to be kept hostage for everybody's entertainment.
71
You people are some of the most snide, arrogant and pretentious pricks I've seen online in quite a while.

First thing first, yes, this event has food available for a fee because their are a variety of restaurants involved and they'd rather make full price rather than a slimmed down catering menu which they also don't offer in the first place.

Secondly, this is a large scale event, not some shitty little boring ceremony where you are all waiting to be able to start drinking once the wedding is over and the party begins. There is live music, fire jugglers, flame swallowers, acrobats, circus freaks, and a lot more. This is an event not unlike Jim Rose's sideshow and there just happens to be a wedding smack dab in the middle of it as far as any guests (who aren't the bride & groom's close friends) are concerned.

Third, Where do you people get off talking about not accepting cash present instead of physical gifts for wedding presents? I've been to several weddings where cash donations were accepted and when you've got a couple that is hard to pick the right gift for (or have everything they need in their house already) it makes it MUCH more convenient and you know they'll use the money in a way that they will enjoy far more than a fucking fruit basket or membership to the wine of the month club, a toaster or any other stereotypical wedding present. If you are all so naive and simple that you honestly believe there's something wrong with honestly just wanting money to enjoy experiences with than you need to open your eyes to the reality of the current world around you then get off your high horses and have them kick some sense into your dense friggin' skulls.

Fourth, the "VIP" area and it's food? Seriously? It's the equivalent of having closer seats and nothing more. That "free food" you're flipping out over? Yeah, it's the equivalent of bar snacks like nuts, popcorn, etc... Nothing wrong with that at all, it's their wedding and when was the last time you got to see a circus sideshow, party with your friends to good DJ's and live music, drink to your heart's content AND be fed all for free? Never? Yeah, me either.

You know, I find the most telling thing about this rant from this soon to be ostracized member of the crew of friends is that you've probably been on the receiving end of this couple's generosity more times than you could count and took full advantage of it every time! Were you at the Superbowl party when they had full traditional King Cake, a variety of hot wings & cajun foods like Jumbalaya & Etoufee' available along with prizes for Fleur De Li coloring contests for guests and a ton of free booze? Or, how about when they setup the epic DJ'ed Halloween party with full light system again with booze & food and let at least a dozen people crash over at their place afterwards & made breakfast for everyone? Now however they want to throw an even more massive event and oh boo-hoo, they are finally asking for help in order to make it a truly epic event. Sorry but everything this couple does is under the "Go big or go home" umbrella and I'm so sorry that they actually ask for you to help out once out of al the times they've thrown events for us their friends.

My list goes on and on when it comes to all the kind, amazing things this couple has done for their friends without ever asking for a single thing in return so fuck you anon for your petty vindictiveness. I only hope you have the balls to admit who you are and not show up as the couple are amazing enough people to forgive you for your bullshit but myself and many of the other guests are not. You sicken me whoever you are and now I'm just going to be going down the list trying to figure out who you are so that everyone can make sure to never trouble you with invitations to any events that we (The dozens of actual friends of the couple) work with, for and on...
72

@ Joemamma's #62:
"Only self-centered pieces of shit ask their photographer friends to shoot for free. The super lazy pieces of shit make the request by form letter. They did it only because they know a decent wedding photog runs over $3K."

Actually, considering the sheer number of professional photographers & filmmakers this couple knows it makes it much easier so they don't insult any of their friends who have all offered to do it for free by hiring an unknown or paying a friend to spend all of their time working instead of having fun. As a video professional (who is filming, editing and producing DVDs of the wedding for them as a present) I find their choice to be the best combination of all options.

Apparently you don't know many professionals who love their work otherwise you might have some clue as to what you are talking about.

@Bobrocket's #65:

"Seriously what would it cost $500 to get a bunch of kegs and maybe 2 cases of cheepass liqour?"

On top of the thousands being spent on the location, entertainment talent, setup, cleanup & insurance for a full on event you expect them to pay for the bar as well? My, you sure do seem to thing the sun shines out of your ass don't you? Of course a giant party should be thrown just for you so that you can get drunk on other people's dimes right? Grow up and learn to spell you self-centered brat.

@ tal's #68:

"it's strange that the "bride" and "guests" who posted here have yet to report back with an explanation of the inaccuracies so we can all start hating on the correct target..."

The entire I anon rant is inaccurate. This is a 6 hour + event with aerialists, fire jugglers, burlesque dancers, fire performers, contortionists, carnival games, live music & DJs and more with a ton of burners, ravers, punks (of both the traditional and steam variety), multimedia professionals, artists and so many others it'd take me an hour if not more to explain it all... Suffice to say, it's a HUGE private event.

Asking for $20 for people not invited? Ummm, yeah. People who aren't invited or are guests of someone who was but hasn't notified the couple (all they would have to do is say oh could you please have me +1?) doesn't seem like a problem to me at all. No wedding crashers that way and if there are, they contribute. I don't understand how anyone could be upset with the couple about this...

The private area? What's wrong with the couple having their closest friends who have helped them through the years and lived, laughed and loved with them even closer to them and showing these people how much they care? This is the same as a normal wedding except it's not in front of everyone else. No big deal there either.

Whoever wrote the I anon is a selfish jerk and they obviously don't appreciate the couple is all I can say. As a guest and friend of the couple I cannot understand how anyone who knows these two wonderful people could ever get upset by any of this...

73
@29: Oh, yeah, I DEFINITELY agree gifts are optional. 100%.

I'm only saying that it's considerate to provide options so everyone's preferences/comfort levels can be accommodated. Not having a registry might annoy some people who don't want to shop endlessly, etc.

Personally, I don't see a registry and think "greedy bastards." I think it's an efficient way to make sure nobody's wasting their time and money unnecessarily, and I really prefer it. And even if I don't buy off the registry (never felt obligated to), it's a handy reminder of what everyone else might be buying.

@48: That sounds like work to me. I agree stating gift preferences ON the invitation is a tad mercenary, but there's no problem with providing that kind of info on a separate card along with directions to venue, etc. Or on the couple's wedding website. So handy.
74
What a special couple. And # 71, you are so lucky to be able to suck up to them so thoroughly. I bet they won't have to wipe their asses for a week! As far as sucking up goes, you go big or go home! Just like your very good and generous friends!

You have a little entoufee on your chin, though.
75
@J242 Just so we're clear...is the entry fee on top of the gifts or not?

Do the photographers get in free?

And, is the couple expecting to make a profit on this, especially since this guest list probably will include many who weren't at, or even invited to, the fantabulously epic super bowl party or the halloween party?
76
I remember when I Anonymous used to be a column where people actually anonymously did random things to other people/things out of spite/desperation/boredome/loathing/insanity, etc. Now this column is just full of dumbass venting or complaints. Lame.
77
@71 here it is - in order:

1) That's tacky

2) That doesn't justify asking people for an entrance fee.

3) That's super fucking tacky. Nobody said she can't, they all just pointed out the obvious: it's tacky.

4)When was the last time I went to wedding that featured free food, music & booze? Last weekend - those are the most standard items at any decent wedding and they happen ALL the time. Nobody gives a fuck about a circus show. That's nothing more than attempt by the B&G to prove they are individuals, creative, and some how not part of a mass tradition that's been going on for centuries.

5) If you can't afford the "go big or go home" mantra, don't do it. (read: 2008 US Economic Melt Down)

6) That's the beauty of I, Anon...
78
Rich and famous people should have their weddings on private islands, far away from normal people, just to avoid the kind of disgusting fawning and ass-suckery that J242 feels compelled to do here. Jesus.
79
I was invited to this wedding and was put off by the "bring love, cash and your camera!" line. I was even more put off by the fact that if I wanted to come with my spouse, well that would be a $20 cover charge.

I'm in the camp of peope who believe that if you can't afford a huge wedding, you scale it back or put it on your credit card. I can see one of the friends rabidly defending the bride and groom and calling objectors as selfish...however, I feel that asking your friends to foot a chunk of your wedding bill is also selfish. The friends that are willing to pony up will be there and the ones who aren't will have other things to do.

It's not an unconvential or unique idea...it's a club night, it is a rave in the form of a wedding and if that's the kind of wedding they want, that's cool. However, with throwing this kind of a pay admission for your wedding guest/husband/wife thing is not going to sit well with people who just wanted to see them get married. If you have the balls to throw a rave for a wedding, you should also have the balls to not be crushed when people don't feel like paying for the carnival.
80
Lets clear up any questions. The invitation reads:
-Come Join the freak show (in very large print)

smaller print than what is above for the section that follows

-Carnival Games- Big Prizes
Games run from 7pm-11pm. Kids play free. $1 per game, win tickets for Big raffle prizes at 11:30pm
-Aerialist, Juggles, Burlesque fire performers, contortionist
-Live DJ's - Music and Dancing
-Theme costumes encouraged
-No Host Bars
-Carnival food vendors
Bring Love, Cash and your camera

The back reads:
We will not have a gift registry. instead we are humbly requesting a suggested $20 or more cash or check gift, to help us fund our 2010 trip to Burning Man and our honeymoon. Envelopes will be provided at the door.

Please feel free to bring your friends! Anyone NOT on the guest list will be REQUIRED to pay $20 into a wedding gift box at the door.

To our guests aged 21+ pleae bring your ID for the Bar. No ID = NO liquor

Please bring cash for Games/food/drinks

Photographers please bring your cameras! We request digital copies, and will pay you for your prints.
-----------------

So that's it. Yes, its appalling, yes it's tacky, and yes I am going to watch two people very much in love get married. The rest of it is just fashion. If you don't like it, then don't come.
81
Wow you people AMAZE me, I too am a close friend of the bride and groom and as stated NUMEROUS times, even by I Anon himself, the entry fee is for people NOT invited.
The guests (those invited) are not required to do anything. And honestly, if they don’t want to pay for anything they’re still getting a great show, just no booze or food….I’ve been to many weddings that had a cash only bar and no food served…at least they are providing the option to buy food if you’re hungry….and for the record, no they are not making a profit, they are having other people come in to serve their guests – and those people may or may not be making a profit, but not them.

@79 – you are a tool, and obviously must not be close to these people at all, you don’t have to pay $20 to bring your husband! Are you kidding me? Obviously you didn’t even ask them….now, you want to bring friends that don’t know them, then yes they probably have to pay…

@73 – the photographers are their friends, are guests, so no they do not have to pay.

@74 – the reason he is defending them so much is not to suck up to them, but because he cares about them. These people are some of the nicest most generous people that I know. And ya, maybe they go a little overboard sometimes, but its only because they want their friends to have the best time ever…they don’t expect anything in return and when you are a friend, seeing someone you care ripped apart like this it’s just infuriating…
82
@TheMisanthrope

"And, is the couple expecting to make a profit on this, especially since this guest list probably will include many who weren't at, or even invited to, the fantabulously epic super bowl party or the halloween party?"

No, they aren't looking at coming anywhere remotely near a profit on this and wanted to have food & drink covered for everyone but simply couldn't afford it.
Most everyone from previous parties have been invited to the wedding to my knowledge but I'm not the planner or anything.
83
"Rich and famous people should have their weddings on private islands, far away from normal people, just to avoid the kind of disgusting fawning and ass-suckery that J242 feels compelled to do here. Jesus."

Hey BettyGillete, here's an idea for you. How about instead of forming half-assed opinions about people you don't know (holding a private event) and venting your pathetic "moral outrage" or whatnot you take your thoughts and shove them back up your ass where they belong m'kay?

@JF: "When was the last time I went to wedding that featured free food, music & booze? Last weekend - those are the most standard items at any decent wedding and they happen ALL the time. Nobody gives a fuck about a circus show. That's nothing more than attempt by the B&G to prove they are individuals, creative, and some how not part of a mass tradition that's been going on for centuries."

I didn't ask when the last time you went to a tradition marriage with all the boring bells & whistles of a standard wedding was, I asked when the last time you went to a giant party. A party where there is multiple forms of live entertainment and not some shitty wedding band playing songs everyone needs to get drunk to dance to. This is going to be a massive party, not some boring suit & tie church wedding. As for not liking the circus show, that's your choice but for all of the friends of the bride & groom, it's going to be a blast and we all really like the idea of it. We'll have fun and everyone here will still be complaining about someone's choices that have no effect on their lives whatsoever. Pathetic, truly pathetic.
84
@Someonewhocares: It's good to know some more of us are coming in and setting things straight.

I never would have met the love of my life if the Groom hadn't selflessly invited me to come down to New Orleans with him for Mardi Gras a few years back. He gave me a free (and NICE) place to stay in the quarter, covered transportation and showed me a great time in the big easy all because I had been down and stressed so he wanted to make sure I had a good time.

My girlfriend would never have the job she loves so much now if the Bride hadn't selflessly hired her on and trained her on the job at the Bride's expense! That training is what earned my cajun girl her job in our neighborhood working with great people and helping support local charities while making a living...

These two people are by far two of the most loving, kind, caring and generous people I've had the good fortune of knowing so I'm absolutely going to stand up and call out people for ignorantly assuming they are trying to abuse their friends. If any of you speaking so negatively about this event had ever met these two people, you wouldn't be commenting like you are is all I can say.
85
@72--your words smell like those of a self-centered, self-deluded piece of shit.

Trust me--professional photographers & videographers do not get offended when "friends" do not ask them to provide $3,000-$15,000 of services, product, time, overhead, insurance, licenses, $25-35K in equipment, labor, etc... for free. Pull your head out of the sand, loser.

Anyone who request anything other than attendance in a wedding invitation is a self-centered gift-grubbing piece of shit. Even including your wedding registry info with an invitation means you are a self-centered gift-grubbing piece of shit at worst, severely misguided at best.
86
J242, you are overwhelmingly out-voted by 100% of the common-sense-possessing masses you have two brain cells to rub together.

Pull your head out of your ass and get with the program. Nothing you can say will ever convince anyone that your "friends" are anything less than tacky, selfish, self-deluded losers... Who need a computer with spell-check.
87
@81: The invite came clearly to me, and the invitation says "Anyone NOT on the guest list will be REQUIRED to pay $20 into a wedding gift box at the door". Spouse = not on the guest list, therefore $20. That doesn't make me a tool, that makes me someone who can read the wedding invitation.

Obviously you people who are pissed off about your friends being blasted in the stranger don't really care what anyone has to say, that's fine, they're your friends so you're defending them. It's awesome that you guys are willing to pay for your friends' wedding and I hope you have a great time. Although, all of you angry/noble/defending friends should also realize that if this is the kind of wedding they want to have, they are going to get flack for it and if they are as unconvential as they are making this all out to be...they should be able to deal with criticism for their rave.
88
Why do girls need thousand dollar dresses, professional makeup, professional photographers, giant guest lists and a massive pile of gifts to be happy? I didn't even wear makeup to my wedding. Everyone had a really great time. We didn't go into debt, we didn't beg anyone for money. I felt crappy about even having a registry or receiving gifts of any type. The love and well-wishing of your friends and family should be enough. No money needed... You're walking away with the most valuable thing in the world - a loving partner.

89
by the way for all to know, J242 is the groom.
90
I'm only disgusted by the Papyrus font choice. Everything else is fine.
91
J242.. You are an idiot, who obviously has idiots for friends. My inability to spell I can accept, but your attitude and reasoning I can not.

Yeah, I do expect free liqour and food at a wedding. That is pretty much the reasoning why MOST people go to weddings. So regardless of how much all that other stuff cost's, I am not going to cut check for a 50 to 100 gift to watch a freakshow/wedding, when I have to pay 20 clams to get my date in AND pay for food and drink. I don't see how that eludes you? If want to have a party/show to raise funds for your ridiculous excursions? fine, I would gladly accept and not question it. But if you are expecting a monetary gift on top of that, you are about as tacky and classless as moronic hipsters come.

And by the way, in response to "I asked when the last time you went to a giant party. A party where there is multiple forms of live entertainment and not some shitty wedding band playing songs everyone needs to get drunk to dance to. This is going to be a massive party, not some boring suit & tie church wedding"

...I can honestly say about 3 months ago, and yes, food and drink were provided, and no admission charge!
92
@77 spot on
93
@ J242 - that's just it. If they can't afford it, they have to scale back. Does that mean not having her dream wedding? Then so be it.

Weddings are FREE FOR THE GUESTS. Free food. Free drink. Free entertainment. The couple pays for it all, and provides only what they can afford. Can't afford booze? Make it a dry wedding. Can't afford food? Then it's a potluck. Can't afford entertainment? Everyone has an mp3 player and can find speakers to plug in. Can't afford a venue? Someone they know has a back yard.

It's still a wedding, giant party or not, and these are the rules. If they want a rave, they need to foot the whole bill themselves, or at most ask for voluntary, no strings attached contributions which they mention just once in the invitation and NEVER bring it up again to ANYONE.

BTW, digital cameras and cell/smart phones have killed the disposable camera trend (and not "tradition" as you called it). They're within their rights to ask a friend for the favor of being the "official" wedding photographer, but that request shouldn't go out in the invitation.

If you're wondering why those of us "who won't be affected" are pissed off, it's because we want to make sure this doesn't become some trend that we will have to deal with. A disease is easier to treat when you kill the first germ than if you wait for a general infection to take place. If this couple is allowed to hold their wedding reception as a pay-to-get-in VIP event without LOUD OUTRAGE directed at them, some other dumbfuck will think they can do the same thing.

If they want a huge party, then leave the wedding out of it.
94
What a bunch of shit, I'm getting married soon and would NEVER allow my guests to pay for food, drink or suggest they have cash on them to play games! If I were to have games at my wedding, THEY WOULD BE FREE, just like the entertainment (think about people who host weddings and hire the rolling stones for 9 million dollars) I don't think those B&Gs are charging admission to their weddings.

J242 it's all fine and good that you are defending your friends, the B&G have every right to do what they're doing, but if they had ever looked at any type of wedding etiquette they would know why this I, Anon is here. It's flat out wrong to ask for money or mention gifts on an invite, it's wrong to charge guests of guests to come (if they're not on the list, they're not invited to this "private event"!), it's horrifyingly wrong to have guests pay for their own food.

Cash bars are tacky, but not unheard of- I would never do it, but to each their own on that one.
Oh and one other thing J242 and other friends who have said this couple has been generous in the past so that makes it okay for them to charge at their wedding, that's just stupid. Sure it's great that they've been generous, but in the US social norms dictate that weddings are celebrations and they are hosted by the couple, their parents, etc. If they're the go-big-or-go-home type, they should expect to pay the big price tag, and don't be all surprised and hurt when someone goes to I, Anon calls them out on their selfishness. They're the idiots who didn't do an easy google search on "wedding etiquette"
95
@Bitch:"by the way for all to know, J242 is the groom."

No "bitch", I most certainly am not... You obviously don't know the groom then as if you did you'd recognize my handle from around his house and the many parties... The groom may have a "J" in their name and their company's name but that is not me.

@Bobrocket: "Yeah, I do expect free liqour and food at a wedding. That is pretty much the reasoning why MOST people go to weddings."

So then, you honestly believe that most people ONLY go to weddings to sponge and leech off of their friends? That says a whole lot about you and YOUR friends...

"I am not going to cut check for a 50 to 100 gift to watch a freakshow/wedding, when I have to pay 20 clams to get my date in AND pay for food and drink."

If you were friends of the people who are getting married, all you would have to do is contact them and ask if you can be listed for a +1 for your date. No money needed, that simple. This isn't rocket science or even basic arithmetic and how you and so many others completely fail to understand this is simply beyond me. The groom & bride sent out emails over the course of 2 1/2 months + making sure everyone let them know if they would be attending so they could get them and their +1's on the guest list. As for food, eat before you go if you're so friggin' cheap. As for booze, bring a flask since you are so incredibly cheap. I don't expect my friends who've shelled out a ton of money for this to also shell out hundreds more just to get their guests tanked. Maybe your friends are down for that but then again, maybe you like in a frat house.

@Matt from Denver: "It's still a wedding, giant party or not, and these are the rules."

Where oh where in the halls of society is it written as a rule that the couple getting married has to foot the bill for everything? Please show me in the books of law where it ever states such a thing. Just because YOU feel it should be that way doesn't make it so for everyone else on the planet Matt.

"If you're wondering why those of us "who won't be affected" are pissed off, it's because we want to make sure this doesn't become some trend that we will have to deal with"

So in other words, you're pissed off because you would never allow for the possibility of someone not paying for everything at an important event they'd like for you to attend as a friend? With friends like you and so many others on here, who needs enemies?

@Joemomma: "Trust me--professional photographers & videographers do not get offended when "friends" do not ask them to provide $3,000-$15,000 of services, product, time, overhead, insurance, licenses, $25-35K in equipment, labor, etc... for free. Pull your head out of the sand, loser."

When said professionals want to add more diversity to their portfolios and you have multiple friends all clamoring to help out and save the couple money to put into an even bigger, better celebration? Yeah, WE would have gotten upset. The 6-8 people all putting our time & effort into the multimedia for this event so our friends have a professional product to relive whenever they want. I own my equipment, it's paid for and only a complete asshole would charge a friend for helping them out when it doesn't cost them a dime to do so. Again, people like you and all the other haters on here don't deserve friends like the B&G and frankly I'm glad none of you hating fucks will be there.

We're going to have a great time with our friends and wish the loving couple off in the best way possible with a massive celebration that will be a blast for all. Assholes and pricks like you aren't invited, thus the $20 charge at the door for you shmucks.
96
considering they throw free parties for groups of 50+ every couple weeks and let them bring whatever random buddies with em and its usually including free drink, food and music without admission...

fuck it

they are doing something for themselves for once, for those invited if the $20 bucks seems tacky, you must be new or your a cheap prick. The party hosters have given more than that to everyone at some point or another. If you are truly a friend or family you know this.

More than likely your one of the random jackasses that show up with all your homeless buddies that panhandle and beg for cigarettes and eat all the food... Your buddies are expensive, sorry they dont want to cover the whole trailer park on their wedding day buddy....

These people would give the shirt off their back, you have always had an emergency contact 24x7 , a place to stay when things are rough. They have never asked for anything, but the one time they have you had to call them assholes.

Your issue is simple, dont go, you dont have to.
Also, please dont keep showing up, if this is your backstabbing asshole way of being a "friend". Stay behind, dont show up, everyone in the group are good people, honest and friendly. If this offended you, you dont get it, your too much drama, and you dont belong.

To the rest of the folks on here, cool with your opinions. Ill be having fun with some of the best people I know. I have no need to kiss their asses as it doesnt change how genuine they will be.

for me, they are great people, and they deserve better response from the people they have helped in the past then this. They are some of the best people I know, and in the end no matter if i buy booze and food or not, its a cheaper wedding then the last 6 I went to.
97
If you can't afford to have the kind of wedding you might like to.... tough shit. Too bad. Sorry. You do NOT get to turn around and ask your guests to pay to attend, nor to help you out for free. That is pure douchebaggery. And if you can't afford the honeymoon you might like? Sorry, same deal. You don't get to ask others to pay for it. I want to go on vacation too. Maybe I will ask all my friends to give me $100 each so I can! What an asshole.
98
J242 sorry but you sure sound like him. If you're not him then good, b/c H and J don't need to be reading all this crap and wasting their time with this. I have been to plenty of the parties at the house and have never been charged to get into any of them. That is why this is so horrifying. I also gather you are a VIP and that is also why this does not seem so rude to you, since you were not told to bring a bunch of $1's in order to drink/eat/play games. You were probably also not told that your spouse was not invited per say and that they will be charged $20 bucks to get in, even though you were invited. It's pretty common that when inviting someone to a wedding, it's you plus one. Not you and if you want to bring someone tell them to bring 20 bucks to get in.
99
I also work in the creative industry and will be editing a friend's wedding video for free, there is no problem in that- I asked her if she wanted me to do it. While I'm sure you're exaggerating that people are "clamoring" to help out, that is not the point.
It's silly to think that you and your creative friends would have gotten upset if they had hired someone, you must not be very good at your craft if you think that you can sincerely focus on your work and have an awesome time during the whole party, or you've never worked a wedding before...

Anyway, the couple put this stupid request of photographs on their invite,another huge faux pas, insulting photographers who do care about the time they have at this wedding. I guess you and your friends who have agreed would rather work it than attend it.

Oh and the VIP thing!! Woah, that's sincerely messed up. Free food for people who are close to the B&G? While the other guests look in hungry, think about what your friends are doing, help them put an end to this madness instead of encouraging it!
100
Guests shouldn't have to contact the bride and groom for a +1. If the bride and groom don't know you have a +1(boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife), then you probably shouldn't be going in the first place. This would probably go so much smoother if they had just taken the people they sent VIP tickets and had a wedding with them.