I, Anonymous

Quit Yer Yelping


Oddly, I rarely have anything bad to say about the new businesses I try out. Oh, maybe that has something to do with the fact that I check out their ratings before going, including, amongst other sites, on Yelp. Yeah, totally useless. I guess I'm just really, really good at randomly picking high-quality restaurants, bars, shops, and service providers.
I've yelped twice. I wrote a one star review. Then I went back becaue friend made me and gave it a five star review. IA is correct, take it to the source and figure out why your panties is in a bunch if you don't get your spelda. Maybe the waiter will tell you to go somewhere else, where you belong if you are that petty.


Let me give you a non-hypothetical situation. Five years ago, I took my then-girlfriend to Seattle for her birthday. She really wanted to go to 'Campagne' - which got great reviews on Yelp.

We showed up at 6:55 for a 7 pm reservation and the place was maybe half-full. I told the host our names and that we had a table at 7 pm. He barked "Go stand over there!" And then he walked away. We were kind of bewildered and just stood there for a minute. Another employee walked by and asked us if we had been helped - I told her what had happened. No apology, no acknowledgment that this was a pretty weird way to greet people...Though she did eventually seat us. She ended up being our waitress and she was totally cold to us, basically ignoring us the entire night aside from what was necessary to bring us our food - in contrast to how she fluffed some regulars at another table, and hell, most other tables.

There are some restaurants that treat some customers like shit and talking to their employees or even their manager mano-a-mano about it isn't going to help. If somebody doesn't like criticism on the internet, they probably don't like it in person, and when multiple employees act like shitheads, it's coming down from the top.

To all the people who say "you have to work in the business", bullshit. Why are you the only people in the world who are free from criticism by your customers? Perhaps waitstaff should be free from criticism by their managers? I can't see that happening.
So let me get this straight I anon, if I come into your restaurant and my service is slow all I need to do is say this to you and the waiter serving me will fix this immediately or give me free shit? Slow service is not something I have ever complained about in the past. A wrong order I would definitely speak up about because it is fixable but slow service? Slow service is the sign of either a poorly managed kitchen or a poorly trained waiter. In my experience neither of these things are immediately fixable and calling a restaurant on it is not likely to result in a pleasant exchange.
The problem is not people complaining - the problem is that people don't complain to their servers. They wait and complain later online. Of course there will be mistakes made at restaurants every now and again, but if you let someone know they'll fix it. It's kind of ridiculous to not say anything to the server and just start whining about it later online.
People feel empowered by online forums to write all the inanity they can possible think off. Unfortunately, if naturally, YELP lends validity to a great deal that is simply ridiculous whining, ignorance, and lack of social skills from diners who somehow feel able to critique. It is regrettable because it leads to the creation of a certain mob effect. It only takes a few negative comments for others to feel that negative is the vibe they need to amp in their silly post. It is disrespectful and ignorant... but then again, America is the land of disrespect and ignorance.

You are all ridiculous. Earthquakes, derivatives, and genocide and you idiots are talking about restaurants and yelp.
Yeah you know what you yelping shitbags, it has to be anonymous. If our employers ever get wind of any kind of defensive remark to some cocksucker whiny 'guest', we'll get canned quicker than you can dream up your next bitch fest paragraph long complaint. Imagine for a second if every foodserver you've critiqued showed up at your place of business and whittled up every inane insignificant and childish complaint about your work and tried to get you FIRED. You fucking shitheads, don't you realize that this is how we make our living, our LIVELIHOOD.
Wow, people sure get their fucking panties in a knot when you call them out on being whiny, passive-aggressive little bitches: "hey, fuck you for saying fuck you to me cuz I don't have have the balls to address you directly when I have critical feedback!" Wah, wah, waaahhh....
Hey humbleservant - try, ya know, doing your job better. If you didn't screw up, people wouldn't complain about you, eh?

The purpose of yelp is to report people's experiences with an establishment. If a lot of people have a poor experience, there's going to be a lot of negative reviews. Simple as that. Why should you get a pass for a poor performance just because its how you make your living? If you can't do it right, maybe you need another job.

As for the author's "talk to the manager and get free stuff" comment...essentially, you are saying "hey, let us bribe you to keep quiet about our crappy performance". That's real classy.

(note: I've worked in food service before, and I now work in another industry that has a 5 star rating system even more closely tied to it)
You fucking shitheads, don't you realize that this is how we make our living, our LIVELIHOOD.

So why don't you do a better job?

Yelp is a payola advertisement site masquerading as online word of mouth. It's totally worthless as a reference for finding good restaurants, services, basically anything. Just don't use it. Stay away. You've been warned.

Don't just take my word for it ... read this:

...ah, the rage of the over-tattooed...
I don't write a bad Yelp review unless the service was so horifically bad to make me never, ever return. So if you're getting poor Yelp reviews, fix your shit, crappo waitstaff. Newsflash! You don't DESERVE to be tipped for shitty service and shitty food! Much less DESERVE to get good reviews! The rest of us work for our wage. You should, too.
Don't get so defensive, Yelpers. You can dish it but you can't take it! Admit it - some Yelp comments are petty and unfair. I know life is "unfair" but the pompous attitude of *some* of the comments is just a bit much when you're busting your ass to keep your small business going. Direct constructive criticism (in person) is, in fact, welcomed by many small business owners. Give it a try before you all decide we don't "give a rat's ass".
Hey Bart,

Just because they keep dissing BluWater?

And lose the pageboy haircut, Robert Wagner killed that style.
For the anti-yelpers, go to pleyful.com!!! Industry only!
I own a restaurant. I read Yelp, Urbanspoon, Citysearch....all of them you have to; you need to know about consistent reviews. My issue is Yelp is not a real review site; it is a social networking site that reviews. That is a big difference. Yelp decides what reviews are legitimate, and leaves reviews that could be false and allows Yelpers to talk horrifically about individuals and establishments. This is just plain idiotic of Yelp. First the individuals can and have been sued, secondly you never know about one's craziness or anger issues. I have known individuals to 'go after' Yelpers... If you have a problem somewhere just talk to the Manager or Owner...Most places really want your business and would do anything to get you to come back.
I worked at a local bakery that held an opening day party reserved for Seattle Yelp 'Elite' members. Almost every product that we normally sold in the shop was complimentary; including baked goods, beer, wine, coffee and tea. Over a period of 3 hours my co-workers and I (about 6 employees) received a total of $13.00 in tips from the Elite Yelp club.
I know that tipping is discretionary. But really? $13.00 between 30 people all eating and drinking for free.
Fuck the Elite.
fucking I, Anon MORON... when I do reviews are because the services sucks or are really good... if your business can't coupe with it, too FUCKING bad - for you that is.
I don't have to tell you when you do a bad service, but I want to warn other people to not commit same mistake I did going to your FUCKING place.
As a small boutique business owner with an overall excellent Yelp rating, I can tell you that 98% of the negative reviews we have received (of which there aren't too many, luckily) ARE from customers who made NO attempt to even let us know they were unhappy during, or after their service. About half of those Yelpers also stretched the truth about what transpired during their service, or outright lied. I think that business owners should be able to review Yelpers, to make things a bit more fair; kind of like ebay lets you rate sellers and buyers. This would help lend more meritt to the Yelpers who are posting accurate and legitimate reviews, versus the passive-aggressive ones who self-loathe and use Yelp as a place to try and have control over some small part of their lives.
here here!! yes, complain to the restaurant that night or write the manager/owner to see if they can make amends.. they would love to. Sure, some places should get dings, but people are also fucking cranky and intolerant.
This is video is exactly how some Yelp reviewer assholes are, especially the "Elites". I've seen them in action. My friend has a sign up in her business that says "No Yelpers, ALL ELITES MUST EXIT NOW"....I laughed my ass off when I saw it the first time.

The best part is if they try to do business anyway and she finds out who they are she will kick them out. She, some friends, and other small business owners started taking specific Yelpers profiles who are particularly unfair, consistently vicious, dishonest and have printed out their profile with their picture and reviews and posts in on the wall behind the counter like someone who writes a bad check. She is pretty much a hero of every small business owner in our neighborhood and it's really has kept the shitty Yelp element out of her store because they fear being called out in public and kicked out. I have heard other small business owners are doing the same thing. Next will probably be a website we hope. Watch out you semi anonymous losers hiding behind Yelp and a computer, there may start being reviews about YOU.


I wouldn't enter a business with such a sign in the window even though I don't use Yelp. If you're taking a negative online review and elevating it into a fucking war ... you have problems. Maybe these businesses should spend more time on the quality and service rather than shaming people for expressing a negative opinion.
You ask why the clients don't complain. Why should we have to? Decent service is an expectation, not something I should have to beg for. For major inconveniences, yes, people should tell the management. But if I have a rude or clueless server, or just plain old mediocre food, it's just not worth my time to get all up in the face of the manager. It will, however, cost the server their tip, and if I am so inclined to write a review (I'm usually not) I will mention that.

If you have one or two bad reviews, it won't hurt your business. If you are attracting more negative reviews than that, and not enough stellar reviews, (most people post on Yelp only about restaurants they've hated or really loved), then maybe you should look in house for your problems.
Some people make yelping a career, like this loser.

But then there's people like this that seriously have no life....http://www.yelp.com/user_local_photos?userid=ef5CX_TZGvX_AXMtSWF2qQ
a 2-3 star review on yelp actually means fuck all. If a restaurant has 994 happy diners and 6 entitled vindictive cvnts that have no life an feel the need to give a 1 star review because the lima beans made them fart - you're shitcanned. Many yelpers have taken to threaten wait staff with bad reviews if a comp isn't on the bill.

ps paying for ads on yelp makes bad reviews go away.
Yelp is for losers. Losers with no money, no education, and nothing valuable to contribute to society. If you are a yelper, fuck off and die. Most reviews are completely off the mark, wildly uneven, and betray the shit-for-brains authors who are trying to appear smart and balanced. Most of you fucktards wouldn't dare say the things you do if you had to sign your names and addresses under your comments. And that's the thing all you shit-for-brains don't understand: anonymous comments, positive or negative, are worth NOTHING. My friends and I don't use Yelp, and couldn't care less what low-income, low-life shitheads think. Fuck you, and then fuck you again for thinking you're better than you are because you can anonymously slander REAL PEOPLE because you were treated like the good-for-nothing bitches that you are. Oh yeah, fuck you!
Sounds like you are the problem. I wouldn't want to eat at your restaurant after reading your diatribe. Give me some comfort food and some warm and fuzzy service anyday.
I have 5 stars on yelp, and I still agree, fuck you yelpers, yelp sucks!