Within two months you had quit your job, given notice on your rented room, and moved in with me, never paying me a dime. I helped finance your album, bought groceries, made dinner, paid for date nights, and tried to keep the house clean by myself on top of working full time

So you fell for lines and got dickmatized ("talents and positive qualities")and got ripped off. And this would be HIS fault how?

Do you want to be a sugarmommy or not? If not, make better choices. Don't pay and date older men. Pay and date younger ones.

I get that you like what you like, but you don't get insurance underwriter, can you make the salad dear, fix the sink, rub my neck behavior in a rock and roll lifestyle. Put on your big girl panties and woman up.

How in the world did you manage to maintain that level of naivete into what I assume are your late forties? Most women have developed a much lower tolerance for bullshit by that point.

At least he didn't knock you up. That's at least one advantage to being menopausal.

I agree with everyone else. How did you get into your 40's without a decent bullshit detector?

@3 Sat'n and @4 boots: Ya got THAT right!!

Not every I,A needs to be justified and without flaw.
I doubt the type of person who is wronged by absolutely no fault of their own is the same type that submits to I,A. Let the people who got duped vent a little so they don't end up with shittier self-esteem because of self-loathing.

The IA should have had a clue when he started doing monster lines of COCAINE while swilling 40's of St. IDES. Get real.

@7, For every one of the complex mysteries of human psychology, you seem to have an explanation that involves dick. You and Sigmund Freud would get along.

@9 Sea Otter: You nailed it for the win, although I doubt @7 has any clue who Sigmund Freud even is.

i love the cocaine and st ides guy ... it really never gets old

Bukowski was an ass and treated women like dirt. He only worked long enough to make a few bucks to drink himself into oblivion. I think she needs to find a different sort of man to idolize or she is in for more of this type of crap.

#12 ripped the lid off of this one. Thank you.

@11: Maybe he's an aging Eric Clapton fan?

@13,

It sounds like *he's* the one with a Bukowski fetish.

I find it rather ironic that many people on here who claim to stand by liberal ideals are too mean and hard-nosed to offer anyone who submits an IA any sympathy. Imagine if you applied this kind of treatment to the people for whom you normally stand in defense. This IA fell in love and made a few mistakes, but she deserves to get burned because she should have known better and it's her own fucking fault? You sound like the republicans who say the poor deserve to die homeless and alone because they're too stupid and unmotivated to get jobs. "It's their own fault! They got what was coming to them!" I know it's not the same, but that's how it resonates with me. Give the woman a break.

@#17 If you're anonymously trying to float a bullshit narrative in this public forum, then you've qualified yourself for some uncompromising analysis and/or ridicule.

Everybody makes "a few mistakes"; not everyone chooses to ignore the insights those mistakes provide. This Anon is trying to make a college-age kid out to be the bad guy in her re-telling, and it's pathetic.

So I anon is a late bloomer in the area of bullshit detection. Love and hormones make people stupid / temporarily insane, and anyone who doesn't know that hasn't lived/loved.

And trusting people, assuming the best of people, and giving them the benefit of the doubt is a positive quality, and until you get burnt, it's perfectly normal to get sucked in.

Good people tend to often project their own good natures onto others. This woman got used, she let a young man use her. But the young man who used her was a user. Let's not forget that.

I liked this I anon, because I have plenty of personal experience with irresponsible and immature "artistes" who think all women in their life owe them mummy services. These men are artist whores who think that their creative talents are barter for food, shelter, and all the other basic things that they should be providing for themselves, but these boys are so (intentionally) incompetent at life, that they find a woman to look after them.

This I anon struck a big chord with me. Congrats, for learning, and moving on swiftly!

If you're in your 40s and he's 28 years younger, that means he was what, 18 or 19 when you hooked up? And you're surprised that he was childish and immature?

If you're in your 40s and he was 28 years younger, that means he was what --18 or 19 when you hooked up? And you're surprised that he was childish and immature? If you want an adult relationship, stop dating kids.

Gotta say, I'm with 17 and 7, in that order.

Blaming others when things go bad for you. How has that worked for you over the years? Just because 'victim' is the national pastime...If you have a beef with the guy, draw up your list of concerns, your proposed fix and go confront the bum. Irrespective of the outcome, that is your last day of helplessness. You will love the rest of your life.

@24 what'sdickgottadowithit: Spoken like a true troll king!

wait wait wait a minute. He was 28 years her younger? Doesn't say how old Anon was. That means, if he was at least 18, then she would have to be 46. Really? That's just weird, unless it was a fling. An 18 year old can't have much in common with a 46 year old. She should have known it was doomed to fail. I do feel for her and believe that the kid was wrong for using her, but seriously, what was she thinking?

why is this anonymous?

@30 Could you by chance be my prehistoric ex?

"Within two months you had quit your job, given notice on your rented room, and moved in with me, never paying me a dime."

Why would you let someone who does this move in with you after such a short period of time? Yeesh.

@30 - GOOD POINT! Bravo.
@8 - You're hysterical, I laugh every time.

I felt a little badly for this woman at first, because let's be honest...everyone's been taken advantage of at some point in their relationship history. But if she is truly in her 40's, then the oldest this kid could have been was 21 (49-28=21). CLEARLY not an age bracket that can be considered the most trustworthy, dependable, or experienced in relationships. We all made mistakes and used people - intentionally or unintentionally - in our late teens/early twenties. Christ, I'm 28 and I wouldn't consider dating a 21 year old...for reasons already stated.

But #30 puts this situation into an even better light. If the situation were reversed, the older man would be considered to be the one taking advantage of the younger woman. At her age, this anon needs to start taking responsibility for her own actions and ask herself who was really using who.