Columns Nov 9, 2011 at 4:00 am

You and Your Mickey-Slipping Dick

Comments

1
I'm sure that drugging someone at a bar has happened someplace somewhere, but the truth is that the vast majority of these cases are really just some bimbo that went out drinking on an empty stomach and couldn't handle her liquor.

In most bars I've ever been in, you would be risking life and limb if you attempted to ruffie someone and got caught by the many learing eyes all around you, not to mention the fact that most people just don't give away drugs that cost money.

Moral of this story; Don't drink on an empty stomach unless you are a pro.
2
^ i'm glad that your limited experience is enough to figure this situation out. I hope you also haven't encountered a genocide so I can cross that off the books too.
3
While I do not condone the characterization of "bimbo," @1 actually has a point. Studies in the US, UK, and Australia have shown that alcohol alone is usually the factor in date rape situations. Sedatives like rohypnol or benzodiazepines in drinks are more frequently used as a tool for robbery, and the victims are usually men. Just to be clear, I am not asserting that the author's roommate was not drugged, but the problem is far less frequent than popular perception and such perception probably serves to downplay the role of alcohol alone in date rape scenarios. An example of the literature: http://kent.academia.edu/AdamBurgess/Pap…
4
Actually, no @1 & @3. The usual factor in date rape situations ARE THE FUCKING RAPISTS! If a woman is drugged or has consumed too much either by choice or by trickery, she doesn't deserve to be raped and there is only one person in any of those scenarios that chooses rape: THE RAPIST.

STFU and die, esp. @1. Maybe get brutally raped first yourself, then go online and call yourself a bimbo. then stfu and die.
5
@4: Right the fuck on!
6
@4, Touché. The main factor that causes mental impairment may usually be alcohol, but the rapist is always the one committing the crime.
7
Besides the obvious evil of date rape, I can't understand why anyone would think sex with an unconscious or semi-unconscious person would be any fun or sexually fulfilling. Me, I like fully conscious and thoroughly enthusiastic sex partners. But I guess for someone who would do this, it's not about enjoying sex, it's about exercising power. Or something. Sick fucks.
8
#4: Hey thanks for the pedantic bullshit, but I'm pretty sure everyone here knows that rapists are the ones who rape. And I'm also pretty sure those posters (well maybe not #1)are well aware that being drunk isn't a license for rapists. Are you by any chance the same person who was freaking out because someone offered the advice that a woman might consider walking home with friends at 2 am because somehow they were blaming the woman?
9
blah blah #8. what is your point? why are you so defensive when someone points out the obvious about rape?

this whole discourse about whether the woman is drunk / drugged whatever is bullshit. so a guy gets abso-fucking-lutely shitfaced and he doesn't get raped. geez he must have real good anti-rape survival skillz!

umm no, it's just that most rapists are men, and they usually rape women. because they are creeps.

feminists have a good point. there are guys out there who enjoy raping women. no-one is really payin attention to that fact though.
10
10: Well, that's exactly it. Everything you're saying is completely obvious to anyone with a brain. Just because someone says that daterape drugs aren't used as much as reported doesn't mean that they're saying rapists aren't responsible for their crimes, or that rape isn't a serious problem resulting partly from societally-fucked-up norms. It's the assumption that everyone who doesn't immediately shout from the mountain tops "men rape women and it's wrong!" are stupid and need to fuck off that annoys me, i.e. the usual internet discourse. Poster #1 is a genuine idiot. Poster #3 was perfectly fine and probably didn't need to be dissed.
11
Aye #9 and #4. Moreover, girls in bars frequently know the difference between drunk and other. How ridiculously rude to imply that this woman was young and ignorant about her body and intoxicants. Go f*** yourself mr. "the vast majority of these claims." "Rufies cost too much to waste on chicks." Rufies are not fun. They are not sold on the street for to be ingested for fun. I know my friends who came home other, angry and terrified knew what it was like to be too drunk and weren't confused at all.
12
Fuck you @1. And fuck you too @3. I have been slipped a mickey, and so have other people I know. (The drink in question was - likely - my third, and my alcohol tolerance is such that three drinks is normally no big deal.) It most certainly happens, and it is fucking terrifying in itself. I'm sure being raped is orders of magnitude more terrifying, but I was lucky enough that my friends found me barfing in a stairwell and made sure that didn't happen. Kiss my ass.
13
I've had a friend that was drugged and only had half a beer. When she realized she wasn't okay she tried to get home. The next thing she knows, she is waking up in a bush. We're talking about a mature responsible drinker, who only has one here or there. Not an out of control party girl, or however you would like to portray her.

Sorry Anon, you had to witness someone you care about going through that. Scary stuff indeed!
14
I had an employer whose MO was to hang out with the bartender after closing, and when it was just the two of them, he'd offer her a drink and slip something in it. Friend of mine who had worked for him and had quite the booze tolerance, so one drink should not have put her out, but she woke up with this snaggle-toothed mountain of flab on top of her! Unfortunately, I didn't know this story before I started work there (we became friends at the next place I worked, just a block away), but luckily because I had quite a drive home I turned down his INSISTENCE that I have a drink.
15
@ANON, & @4 & @5: I second that!!!
16
Sorry angry bimbos, the "I was roofeed" or "was too drunk to know what I was doing" excuse. doesn't fly anymore. You may regret what you did, but you did it and need to take responsibility for yourself. Maybe the answer is to stay out of the bars...

We don't want you light-weight drama queens hangin round anyhow.

signed
The Management
17
@12 - go fuck yourself. You know? Show us the fucking lab test. Those of us WHO HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN DRUGGED HAVE AN ACTUAL LAB TEST TO BACK IT THE FUCK UP!!!

STOP DRINKING YOURSELF INTO OBLIVION AND THEN BLAMING SOMEONE ELSE YOU PATHETIC CUNTS!
19
@16 and @17: Oh, joy! Beavis and Butthead are back!!!! Sorry, angry doofuses, but NOBODY "deserves" a mickey and possible rape. The fact that you're unregistered posters spewing senseless garbage glaringly indicates that you're pathetic, dateless little trolls. Do you still live at home with Mommy and Daddy, too? 12 years old and still not getting any. What a shame.

In the meantime, if you learned to spell, used grammar correctly, and stopped putting everything into all caps, more people MIGHT take you more seriously.
20
@17,

Calm down and read my comment again. I had three drinks. THREE. I often have three consecutive drinks with no problems whatsoever. This particular drink though (the second, or the third), caused me to lose coordination to the point where I literally couldn't walk or speak properly, and then blacked out after vomiting.

No, of course I didn't go get a lab test. What on earth would be the point? If someone did put something in my drink, I have no idea who it might have been, so it would have been a waste of my time and some doctor's time.

If you actually have been drugged in a similar situation, why are you calling me a cunt? I don't get it.

21
@20 Sea Otter: I'm sorry that happened to you!
As for @17, there's nothing to get, except a nasty disease.
22
There are more than enough people whose moral limitations are challenged by alcohol. Rape is violent and never okay. False rape claims are also never okay. If we decide to go out, get wasted, get fucked only to regret it later doesn't mean we were raped. Ladies, improve your situations by improving your game. Improve your game by improving your field of play. Improve your field of play by getting your eyes checked. To avoid being treated like dirt, stop playing with dirt bags. Keep it real and play safe.
23
I had such high hopes for the illustration on this one, but all I got is more material for my 3:00 a.m. nightmares.
24
It's a Rule of the Internet: Guys who refer to women as "ladies" are, invariably, douches. #22, I'm talking about you, hun.
26
I love how so much as a whisper of the word "rape" on the internet turns into a massive troll fest.

I am a woman, I tended bar for years as a young chickadee, and the roofies do happen. They aren't that common, but they happen. What also happens is people (not just women, but they're more susceptible because they weigh less) go out drinking on an empty stomach, or drink too fast, or don't monitor their intake and end up very fucked up very fast.

Of course rapists are at fault for rape. But that doesn't mean people shouldn't take basic steps to protect themselves from crime. Eat before you drink. Pace yourself; drink water in between shots. Don't let your drink leave your sight. Don't take drinks from people you don't know or trust. Look out for your friends and tell them to look out for you.

But I guess I'll be called an evil victim-blaming rape apologist for pointing out the obvious fact that predators exist and since we can't exactly shame them into not raping people, it might be smart to avoid them.

27
Wow - Certain people love to blather on about young women and personal responsibility. It must make you feel so important to be so sanctimonious. Never mind that if you are stabbed or mugged you would not expect the same chorus of nagging to go on around you. Yes, yes, we know rape is embarrassing for men and many are very conflicted by it, however going over board to state the obvious is not only trite but you are protesting a bit too much.
28
Never called anyone a c_nt or even mentioned rape. Just wanted to pass along the FACT that the majority of the cases of drugged drinks are FALSE and urban legend, just like the stories of razor blades in candy from trick or treating. Problem is that many bars and innocent suitors wind up paying the price for these false claims and THAT IS WRONG!! Cry all you want but the statistics back me up. NOW, GO HATE MEN SOMEPLACE ELSE!!!
29
@27 -

I AM a young woman and yes, I feel personally responsible for my own safety. Of course crime is never the victim's fault, but there are actions that reduce the possibility of being stabbed, mugged OR raped. One of those actions is being very careful about how your drinks are made and who has access to them.

I know, I know, "The only way to prevent rape is for men to STOP RAPING." Unfortunately, sexual predators don't respond to shaming language. I'd love to live in a world where rapists just STOP RAPING because we asked nicely, but since we live here in the real world, there's nothing "sanctimonious" about letting women (and men) know how they can protect themselves from predators with bad intentions.

And I don't give a damn if that's politically correct or not.
30
P.S. And there is LOADS of information out there about how to protect oneself from mugging or home invasion. Yet if anyone tries to give similar advice about how to protect oneself from rape, they get these histrionic attacks for "blaming the victim!"

It's almost like women are frail, innocent flowers who can do NOTHING to protect themselves from the big bad rapist dudes. Who's sexist now?
31
Unfortunately, sexual predators don't respond to shaming language


How do you know that? Rapists get huge amounts of support from society at large; just witness every fucking troll who jumps into discussions like this. There are still many men out there who love the idea of women getting what's coming to us to cheer on rape and rapists. And, whenever a rapist is finally caught, everyone he's ever known will jump to his defense and slander his accuser(s).

We can't know whether social shaming works until we actually try it.
32
#24... Have we eroded so much of our self worth that the simple gesture of using a term laced with respect and admiration for the opposite sex gets a man labeled a douche? I suppose you're the sort that responds better to a term drenched with disrespect and perhaps finished with a healthy dose of bitch. Not all woman are ladies jenojeno, you've reminded me of that. You appear to be the type that I would not offer a helping hand even if I witnessed someone tampering with your drink. So, maybe now you know why this bartender minds his own business. Happy dirtbag hunting and see you next tuesday.
33
Its all just one huge pile of crap. Call me hippie but I hold out hope for a world where we look out for each other every day in every way. We as a people ought to hunt predators and fix them so that it cannot happen again. There are huge amounts of men and women that are not into stumbling, drunken sex partners. The cock hating is no different than a klansman hating anything different. Hate is hate, violence is violent(period). Too many innocent folks wind up sorting thru the crap when we offer our hearts or a helping hand to the jaded sour few. So many of you appear to hate men, what else do you hate? Its all just a heaping stinking pile of crap. Kindness pays better dividends than bitter rantings. Find your joy and everyone please live a healthy, happy life. Whoops, there goes that hippie in me.... Just stinks. Many of you are mean shitty people.
34
Fuck Rapists.
35
no piles of cocaine and malt liquor tonight?
36
The drink spiking theme has attracted a hell of a lot of unregistered posters.
37
@35, Yeah, I'm missing my cocaine and malt liquor fix this week too.
38
@29: Well said!!
@35: Arthur must have missed this one.
@36: I noticed that too.
@37: Yeah--me three. He's a character.
39
It might just be that I went to public schools, but the only rape IA mentions is the rape they wish upon someone else.

It doesn't definitively state that said friend was raped, but that IA was able to read the mind of a third party, after the incident, and divine that they must have had the desire to commit rape.

Rape is ugly, wishing it upon someone else is evil.
40
Yes, 17 is a troll and deep down I know I shouldn't respond, but that pisses me off.
Some people who get drugged may not have test results because the hospital they were taken to when they were incoherent and ill just viewed them as another co-ed who had too many drinks and didn't test them.
Or they were too ashamed because they believe that is what will happen. Or they live at home/are visiting home and they don't want their parents to know. There are plenty of reasons some victims of drugging don't have test results.
Your attitude is case and point why some girls are too afraid/ashamed to let strangers know they were drugged.
41
I don't drink alcohol; I was drugged by something that must have been slipped in a diet Coke, my bar drink of choice (why was I, a nondrinker, at a bar? Because I love going out dancing, and this end up in places where others are drinking quite often. Because I know some troll is going to ask!) The paramedics whom we called said it was probably GBH and that, while I could go to a hospital, I would be okay if I just drank a lot of water and was in a safe place. Not happy, not safe from predators, but not in danger of death or serious injury. SO yeah, didn't get a lab test, didn't file a police report. I felt so gross and nothing bad actually happened to me (luckily I had friends to take care of me) so didn't bother. I guess I deserved a night of puking and shivering because of my disgusting diet soda habit. Hopefully other young women will learn from my slutty ways . . .
42
@36...that's all the date rapists wanting to convince you that roofie rape doesn't happen, it's all a hoax, an urban legend.
43
I've seen females get completely incoherently wasted off just a few drinks, despite ordinarily having a good tolerance for alcohol, and in situations where I can be certain the drink was not adulterated. I have no idea why- maybe they hadn't eaten, maybe they'd eaten something that disagreed with them. But they could have easily been mistaken for drugged, and if they hadn't been in a safe situation, they could easily have been taken advantage of.

Not saying roofies don't happen, but I think most rapists wouldn't NEED to shell out extra money for drugs to facilitate rape, when they can just buy a woman drinks at the bar all night with no risk.

And just because someone disagrees with you doesn't make them pro-rapist. Grow up.
44
@11 - "Rufies are not fun. They are not sold on the street for to be ingested for fun."

Not true. I've bought roofies lots of times and the only one i've ever slipped them to is myself. I've also taken a fair amount of GHB in my time which is a hoot.

I'm not saying that people don't buy these drugs for more nefarious purposes than getting effed up, but to say that they aren't fun or can't be fun isn't true.
45
The problem here is this chick should have eased back on the PILES OF COCAINE and MALT LIQUOR. Good grief.
46
If there's one thing I know about women (which there likely isn't) it's that they have no qualms about lying to cover their own bad behavior.

It's much more likely that this was an overdrunken hook-up rather than a roofie situation.

Also, i personally guarantee the original author is a guy who is in love with his female roommate. That's a lock.
47
@46

You got a little misogyny on your victim blaming there.
48
I've been drunk. A lot. And I've been roofied twice. There is a HUGE difference in the way you feel when you've been slipped one and when you're just drunk. Even really, absurdly, painfully drunk.

How dare any person minimize this crime. It is not ok. It is assault and it's entire intent is to create a victim. How is that okay?
49
To those who call this shit an "urban legend", I too chime in with a stern FUCK YOU as well. My girlfriend some years ago was roofied at a party we were at (I think I know who did it -- but no real proof). We'd both gotten off work together and within 30 minutes she couldn't stand, talk, walk. Luckily I WAS there and was able to put her into my car where I watched over her until the morning. She even totally peed my car seats! Which I didn't "mind", I was just glad I was there and recognized it for what it was and was able to get her the fuck out and keep her safe.

I bartend myself and yes indeedy, predatory males exist, it's not fucking urban legend. How many times have I had to double my efforts to protect other customers from creeps (that haven't crossed "the line" quite yet) while I still have to maintain the bar and everything else? Luckily not all that often, but it does happen from time to time.
50
"May the infections in your mind materialize to rot your dick off."

Same to you, anon.
51
I think your roommate came home drunk and upset. Drama queens.
52
So a couple of years ago I went to a club and there was this girl. And she was lookin at me. And smiling. I thought I was in. In fact, I'm pretty sure that had I managed the cajones I could have spoken to the girl and at the very least had a lovely conversation. She was gorgeous, had an easy laugh with her friends, and seemed really cool and comfortable.

Alas, I have never had a lot of experience with 'clubbin' so I didn't gather the stones as quickly as I should have.

I went to the bar and ordered a round of drinks for me and the fellas, and the bartender made a mistake and poured an extra beer.

I thought it was a perfect excuse to go talk to the girl...go give her the drink, and make like I had some experience with this kind of thing.

I took the drink over, explained what had happened and asked her if she'd like to have a drink with me.

Immediately her demeanor towards me changed (it was all eyes and smiles up to that point) and she told me that she didn't drink that shit (she had been drinking beers all night) and then after I left her table and sat down with my friends, she and her friends all split.

When I asked my much more experienced buddy what happened, he just looked at me like I was an idiot. He told me about how common it is that dudes slip chicks the mickey in their drinks.

Needless to say, I was pissed. Not at the girl, of course, but at the dudes out there fuckin it up for us guys that are willing and able to use charm, attitude and a little luck to get the honey.

If I ever catch a dude spiking a chicks drink, I may take several years of frustration out on him, and beat him within minutes of his weak ass life.

Just sayin.
53
You people with all your "personal experience" stories are all 100% full of shit. Saying that someone raped me by drugging my drink at a bar is like saying someone kidnapped me on a motorcycle. Just think about the logistics involved with trying to get a passed out woman home from the bar with you. I know from experience it's damn hard to get a drunken best friend home from the bar in that condition.

#48 thought he had a point but it looks as if his only REAL experience was at a PARTY where I will concede THIS IS WAY MORE LIKELY TO HAPPEN. BTW #48 you are a total FUCKIN MORON and have NEVER tended bar.
54
The bottom line is this folks, If someone actually drugged your drink at a bar, it's because they hate your freakin guts and want you gone in the most embarrassing way possible.

Poisoning a drink (same as drugging) is a FELONY and would be investigated to the fullest if it could be proven. Most of the time it can't and that's a fact.

What happens at private parties and homes or apts is another matter all together.
55
i was drugged, taken out of a club, raped & left for dead in an alley. i woke up with no memory in the hospital. i had alot to say about that experience, but the person who has been trolling so cruelly on here has me in tears. And has triggered every hateful, shameful feeling of that experience. You are an evil, cruel human being.
56
@53

Fuck you, cocksucker. I've probably been tending bar for longer than you've been old enough to know how to roofie your own chick to bag. I really don't know what's so difficult to get about this. It happens. Does it happen a shit ton? No. Does it happen like every once in awhile some dickhead massacres a bunch of ravers in a capitol hill house, yes -- and far more frequently than that -- as capitol hill massacres thankfully, are a very rare rarity. Perhaps because you don't tend bar yourself, you don't see the change in early to late night clientele. Perhaps you don't know the shit show some nights can put on.

And also, fuck you and your fucking disparagement of "personal experience" bullshit. Seriously fuck you. I've seen it first hand you cocksucker. I was there. I told the story, just like the originating I, anon told their story.

There aren't too many "logistics", bro, in order to get something like this done. There aren't a whole lot of logistics to a lot of shit when you're poisoning someone by surprise, especially when they're on their own. Fuck, you're a fucking condescending retard with absolutely not a clue in the world how "late night" works. Fucking completely retarded amateur who has no fucking clue.
57
@55

You're a good person. Don't let the bastards grind you down.
58
@55: I'm so sorry that happened to you! Hang in there.
@57: I second that!
59
Hey, can those of you who have had problems being drugged post what bar/club you were at? People are creatures of habit and these rapists probably frequent the same place(s) That might help those who have not been roofied stay unroofied? Thanks
60
Mine was several years ago & in Portland. i wasn't the only girl drugged that night, & this person actually went to several different clubs in the following weeks drugging girls drinks. i didn't hear about any of it until later, but they did start putting flyers up in girls bathrooms warning them that their was a predator on the loose. i don't know if he did to anyone else what he managed to do to me. My situation was not reported as a rape. In fact, i was treated by the hospital staff as though i had done something wrong by doing drugs. i was told how i had almost killed myself, etc. It wasn't until later, when i had been able to talk to the bartender & the person who found me & got me to the hospital that i was made aware of what had happened.
Just be aware & keep your friends close. Alcohol & GHB can be a lethal combination. i had lost my bowels, was blue & with almost no pulse when i was found. i had been drinking beers & had left them at the table to go dance a few times. He got me out of the bar by telling the bartender, who i knew, that i was ill & had had too much to drink & he was going to get me a cab home. He had been sitting at my table sporadically, so it wouldn't have seemed odd. It isn't the club that you go to. Predators move with ease in many different environments. And it's truly sad that we can't leave a simple freakin' drink to go dance, but that is the reality. What's hard is that if we are out drinking, having fun, getting tipsy & forgetting the world, a bit, we have to worry about being drugged & raped. It shouldn't be like this. So, my best advice is keep your friends close. Predators are less likely to approach when there is a pack. Peace.
61
Another fake i,Anonymous
62
I'm sorry for your roommate and hope that the trauma fades soon, leaving only a bad memory and a firm resolution never, ever to accept a drink that she did not see prepared and to never leave her drink unattended-not to go to the can, not to go dance to her favorite song.

Minding your drink carefully (or taking turns with a trusted female friend for bathroom breaks, dancing) and discarding beverages that you have lost track of are the best ways to enjoy a night out without becoming prey.

I once had a drink tampered with- it was terrifying to have simply lost almost 9 hours- and the only reason I can feel safe in saying I was not assaulted while drugged is that I woke up on a friend's couch, fully clothed without a button out of place or even a tiny run in my hose. My friend told me I had come in at about 11 (only an hour or so after I'd gone to the bar), which means that I must have known something was wrong and been lucky enough to get to safety on autopilot but I shudder to think what *could* have happened to me and how many others have not been as fortunate as I was in both my apparently very good survival instincts and in having had a totally safe haven only 3 blocks away.
63
@48: I'm sorry that happened to you, too! And you're right, It's NOT okay! None of it's okay.

Good grief, Charlie Brown, and people ask me why I don't do the bar scene! It's cheaper, safer, and more convenient to get wasted at home. Been there, done that, and additionally, I don't want to get roofied.
I wonder what bartenders think about shit like this.
64
Was this at a bar on Cap Hill that hosts karaoke every night, and has a name that kind of sounds like The Croissant, but isn't?
65
Drinking does not cause rape. Being openly sexual or liking sex does not cause rape. Being dressed a certain way or being in a certain place does not cause rape. Rape causes rape.

Yes, would that we all lived in risk-free bubbles and took all precautions to prevent all crimes. Would that that actually worked (and it wouldn't). But ultimately a crime is not the fault of the victim for failing to prepare enough, for failing to take arbitrarily enough precautions that you decide. If that were the cause you could show me any crime and I could say, "Well, person A did X, Y, and Z, but they didn't take these other five arbitrary precautions I think they should have."

Crime is the fault of the criminal for, um, COMMITTING A CRIME.

People get drunk all the time, not all those times lead to rape. Yes, being inebriated can make it more difficult to fight off an assailant, and perhaps the rapist will target women who appear to be weaker. But ultimately it doesn't matter. If you don't drink, the rapist will just use force. Or date-rape drugs. Or coercion. They will try to make you feel ashamed for being dressed "sluttily" or not being a virgin or being "at a bad place". As if you were asking for it. But no one asks to be raped.

Please wait...

Comments are closed.

Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.


Add a comment
Preview

By posting this comment, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use.