I, Anonymous

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Comments

1
That must've been some pretty bomb pussy. I bet she was super fun when she wasn't being crazy. Nothing wrong with hopping on one of those carnival rides every now and then, but we owe it to ourselves to get off when it starts a-shakin.'
2
Three dates and you were already putting out? Good luck with that whole rabbit-boiling thing.
3
can i get her #?
4
dude, you're totally missing the point!...... every one of her ex's have "gone on to do fabulous things"!

YOU ARE NOW FABULOUS AND WILL DO FABULOUS THINGS!!!!!

not too shabby, eh?
5
Does writing an I, Anon count as having gone to do fabulous things? 'Cause if so, damn if she wasn't right.
6
Wait a minute. If I'm reading this column correctly, when it talks about the drug-induced ramblings and the drinking, what it is really saying is that she in fact uses COCAINE and MALT LIQUOR!
7
"I could have put up with the drinking, the mood swings, your vanity, your ridiculous schedule, and how selfish you were in bed if you had not insisted on talking about previous guys you had slept with and how many of them went on to do fabulous things."

Translation: I'm totally down to date a complete asshole as long as she doesn't dredge up personal insecurities regarding my masculinity and sexual prowess.
8
@7 - Ha ha! I love you!
9
@7, right on!
10
I think I dated that woman. Nice to know she's still talking about me.

She probably says how at ease I am within my skin, how secure I was with our relationship and how much I enjoyed hearing about her past relationships, good and bad.

We had a blast. Her selfishness in bed was a turn-on, for sure. I enjoy a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for or demand it. Yeow.
11
"You might as well make the caption in your Facebook profile 'The Carpet Doesn't Match the Drapes!'"

Dude's a Bitch, too.

(Not to take away from the genius of Weissman's illustration).
13
@12, if your roomate's step sister hadn't been spending so much time with her vibrator during her "bathroom breaks" maybe she'd still have that job. All the ecstatic howling she did during her "sessions" could be heard clear out to the office lobby.
14
@4: They went on to better lives AFTER leaving her dumb ass.

@7: Lawl, that too.

@10: Are you that excited to exclaim that one woman let you fuck her? Jeezy creezy. I'm sure the novelty will wear off after a few years.
15
Everybody already knows the correlation between crazy and great in bed. You don't bitch about it; you just kept having mind-blowing sex until you can't take the crazy anymore. Move on, man, you sound like a whiner.
16
"how selfish you were in bed if you had not insisted on talking about previous guys you had slept with and how many of them went on to do fabulous things."

Anon might think it was all worth it if he would just put two and two together and realize he just got blessed by a magic luck vagina. Sure, it was attached to a crazy person, but now you get three wishes.