Columns Apr 10, 2013 at 4:00 am

I, Anonymous

I Tried to Laugh Off the Burning

Anonymous
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Comments

1
A practical definition for "douchebag": one who cannot differentiate between pulling an appropriate prank and being a childish asshole.
lolorhone on April 10, 2013 at 10:55 AM Report this
2
That was an asshole move. But it is much more fun to mock the anonymous of the week. I have nothing. Anyone?
Cletus on April 10, 2013 at 11:32 AM Report this
3
This IA sounds like a self-esteem project, at best. George Michaels is definitely a DB but then why's IA hangin out with him? A DB hanger-onner can be worse than DB hanger-onnee.
jenc01 on April 10, 2013 at 11:32 AM Report this
4
I, Anonymous is abbreviated IA. The postal code for Iowa is IA.

THIS CAN NOT BE A COINCIDENCE.
Looking For a Better Read on April 10, 2013 at 4:22 PM Report this
5
The solution is obvious - I Anonymous, you need to learn to swallow. Swallowing makes for flowwery heartfelt happier endings. So swallow, swallow, swollow, and swallow dammit. Swallowing turns the world around. Have a fine and dandy swallowing spring Seattle day everyone!!!
on April 10, 2013 at 4:44 PM Report this
6
Sounds like you're going away anyway. Why are you giving this nobody even a second more of your time?
treehugger on April 10, 2013 at 4:57 PM Report this
7
Is it possible he picked up on your condescending feelings toward him over time and decided to give you the hot-sauce trick as a FU?
debug on April 10, 2013 at 5:50 PM Report this
8
The hospital for hot sauce? Seriously?
EarnYoKeep on April 10, 2013 at 6:01 PM Report this
9
Anyone else think this was gonna be an "I, Anon" from Joan of Arc?
AlaskanbutnotSeanParnell on April 10, 2013 at 6:05 PM Report this
10
Iowa is a friend of mine, and yes he is a bit of an ass but it's part of his charm. And yeah he fucked with you but at least he did it to your face rather than over an anonymous post. Besides you shouldn't act like your "friendship" with Iowa was a one way street when you have spent quite a few nights, new years included, with me, Iowa, and all our friends. Learn to take a joke you passive aggressive ass.
sdot on April 10, 2013 at 8:19 PM Report this
11
Tricking someone into drinking hot sauce is about as funny as tricking someone into macing themselves.. . you have to be an a**hole to appreciate it. It sounds like Iowa and Iowa's friends are a**holes. Now you know.
on April 10, 2013 at 11:55 PM Report this
12
You sound like a two-faced coward for maintaining this false friendship with your co-worker. You probably deserved to drink hot sauce.
on April 11, 2013 at 8:04 AM Report this
13
Lighten up, Francis.
bkski on April 11, 2013 at 8:41 AM Report this
14
I'll bet the I, Anon is a real blast at parties. Or maybe she's just another up tight douche bag.
Arthur Zifferelli on April 11, 2013 at 8:59 AM Report this
16
I was hoping this would be about venereal disease.
on April 11, 2013 at 5:58 PM Report this
17
IA, you worked with George Michael? But I thought he had retired to Moldova!
Ballard Pimp on April 12, 2013 at 9:03 AM Report this
18
Who serves jello at a party?
bakatya on April 13, 2013 at 9:22 AM Report this
19
C'mon 18 posts?

Perhaps Iowa meant for you to consume COCAINE (hot sauce) in your MALT LIQUOR (Jello Shot).

You're welcome.
on April 13, 2013 at 3:01 PM Report this
20
@ 10: Last time I checked, being an ass and charm are two very different things. I'm fairly certain they cannot coexist, like McCarthy and Commies.

While, in general, I find the type of people who attempt to find the good in everyone tedious, I can't fault them for their efforts. Good for IA for trying.

But still, don't beat a dead horse. At some point, you just become a frickin moron for not realizing that this guy is an ass who has neither intention nor desire to be a better person. Not your problem. Cut your losses and move on to a friendship with a person who doesn't suck.
twiggn on April 14, 2013 at 12:29 PM Report this
21
@ 10
Lucky Iowa. This "charming" asshole could have been arrested for battery. What a schmuck.
Texas10R on April 14, 2013 at 7:58 PM Report this
22
All the I, Anon's are way more interesting if you imagine them in a schizo, Tyler Durden way.
Foghorn Leghorn on April 15, 2013 at 8:41 AM Report this
23
You're calling someone juvenile because he ruined your... Jell-O shots? Surely you jest, please?
giacomojoyce on April 17, 2013 at 3:00 AM Report this

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