I, Anonymous

Registered Text Offender


You can block numbers, you know. Anon. Stop being so passive aggressive.
Jesus, what a whiner. Take charge of your life.
My favorite part is the anxiety about your own phone, right before the criticism of someone else's "normal interaction."

The good news is that when your paranoia causes you to freak out, your phone will be easy to murder.
what a fucking pussy..why don't you clean the sand out of your vagina and turn off your fucking phone you pussy.
Block the number, stop replying and then tell this person to fuck off. Why can't you take control of your life?

Wow, really? This is your biggest problem in life? Some narcissistic asshole texts you too much?


Go develop a heroin habit or something- get some real problems, because that isn't a problem, that's just annoying. Much like you.

This might sound like a crazy idea, but have you tried telling this person TO THEIR FACE to stop texting you so much? Seriously, you Pacific Northwesterners and your passive aggression. How WOULD you survive without it?
Seriously, you Pacific Northwesterners and your passive aggression. How WOULD you survive without it?
Go the fuck back to California or New York or whatever shithole you escaped from.
I live in Seattle, douche
Why does heroin get such a bad rap?
I live in Seattle, douche...
And apperently you came from somewhere else (and suffer from reading comprehension). To quote:
you Pacific Northwesterners and your passive aggression. How WOULD you survive without it?
Some again, go the fuck back to California or New York or whatever shithole you escaped from. "Douche".
Could be that this person can't block them because there are extenuating circumstances e.g. there might be kids involved.
Everyone in this thread is fucking touchy...
This IA is pathetic. And yes, people in Seattle are a bunch of passive-agressive, self absorbed, ridiculously self righteous douche nozzles. Last nights bullshit is a perfect example...

I bet if someone with an Ak-47 jumped out of the crowd last night and shot some of those protesters, they'd be crying to the police for justice instead of abusing them and destroying their own city ... Assholes...
Could be that this person can't block them because there are extenuating circumstances e.g. there might be kids involved.
Probably not, the "text abuser" doesn't sound like a present / ex Significant Other.

By the way "twiggn", a review of your post history indecates a high probability that you are a 20-something "douche" (as you like to say) who likes the "skinny jeans" and masturbates in front of a full length mirror.

Go back to LA or whatever cesspool you crawled out of, your kind is a blight on the Pacific Northwest.
@12 - yeah, get out of the way of my I, Anon bashing!! I take great pride in hating on each and every I,Anon regardless of topic.


I have no time for jokes or anecdotes or even relating to the Anon in any way! As a commenter, it's my job to immediately bash and hate and just be a negative black hole on the internet.

@15 You sound a lot like today's I, Anon... Just another whiny bitch who has to express her passive-aggressive hate behind the anonymity of The Stranger.


Or as one of the "douche bags" above said, you're just another DOUCHE.
@15: Uh, I didn't bash I, Anon at all. I just noted everyone in this thread bashing each other. If I had called you a douche I might understand the rant, but seeing as how I didn't... WTF?
Jesus, Lolorhone, why such a douche?
Arthur Zifferelli,
As a regular reader and very rare commentor on The Stranger articles,allow me to ask you a few questions.

How old are you? I cannot imagine anyone over the age of 18 engaging in the same, tired bicker-fests that you constantly start with other posters. Day after day.

Why do you clog up every I,Anon with your mean-spirited, silly drivel?

I am sure you will come back with some witty (in your mind only) retort. You exhibit bully/stalker tendencies. Worst yet, it is online, not face to face. How cowardly.

There is usually at least one regular brave-only-when-behind-a-keyboard sad fool in every online forum with a comment section. You are that person for I, Anon. Congrats!
The internet: a place where everybody vents the hostility they're too afraid to work through in therapy.
LOL, this week seems to be the Great I Anon Douche Off.

Who is the douchiest? The Anon, the Vampire friend, or any one of the commenters?

I guess I'll throw my hat in the ring for shits and giggles.

signed, S. E. Massengill
I hope you're joking, Zifferelli. 'Cause I'm not even trying to debate shit with anyone, let alone get into a pointless back-and-forth.
Swear to god I've seen the real life version of the cartoon creepin on cap hill
What's with all the bold italics? Is it the new way all you Twitter Twaddler roll now?
@17 ugh....sarcasm is what I did there. Every single week this comment section is blasted immediately with people bashing the I,Anon. Every. Single. Week.

@Arthur Zif - same as above. Totally whiffed, man.

Ahem, (using NO sarcasm) to the same bunch of A-holes who bash the I,Anon every single week just to be a hateful prick.....

IT'S BORING. At least think of something funny to post. Anything. Lighten up!
I'm a douche, and I'm damn tired of being stigmatized.
@17: I knew it was sarcasm but it seemed like it was directed at me. I agree that I, Anon has some of the most outlandishly judgmental commentators. All I was saying was that I'm not one of them.
Anonymous isn't responsible for this person's shitty behavior. The texter is clearly oblivious to basic social cues, and its no one's responsibility to spell things out for them. Unless Anon IS responding to them, in which case, stop. Immediately. You're only encouraging them.
@19. Like his commentary or not Arthur Ziffrelli is an institution within I anon. I, like many others, am a sucker for repetition, and I get a little down if an I Anon has no reference to COCAINE and MALT LIQUOR.

(I don't even know why - cause it means nothing. It just presses on my "haha wtf" button I guess).

Let's see if this fixes our little problem here...
I dont understand as a habitual over texter myself i get that some people dont
Want that sort of offhanded communicstion that i enjoy
If the texter is "like a drug eating away at my soul" then isnt the receiver addicted to the attention? So wtf's the problem.
@31 The "I, Anon" is addicted to bitching, moaning, and complaining for attention. The "i, Anon" is a totally passive aggressive attention seeker that would be just as happy and fulfilled complaining about how she purchased a Smart Phone, and nobody wants to interact with her.
Thank you zifferelli. Agreed.
You're allowed to not answer people's texts, you know. You can also try telling them this to their face instead of hiding behind text yourself, much less text they're not likely to read anyway.
@8: If you hate it here, then pack your sad ass up and LEAVE.

Get the fuck out!

I am tired of The Northwest getting all douched up with asshats from The Least Coast/Failifornia.
Italicize this!
Drive a stake through the heart of your cellphone.
Nobody over the age of 12 complains about anything eating away at their soul. Brain, yes. Liver, certainly. Pubic region, I pray tell.

[Sent from my iPhone.]

I just cleaned up this fucking mess. Close your tags, ya dickbags.

Dammit, it was underlined too? Christ.

I've fallen asleep.
you can turn your phone off. You can turn it to vibrate. You can put it in flight mode. You can just stop returning their texts the minute they come in. That's usually enough to get someone to stop.

Stop being a formatting jerk.
@10: The main constant with people who whine about "THE SEATTLE FREEZE" is that they're passive-aggressive themselves, I've encountered just as many natives as transplants who complain about passive-aggressives here. I honestly don't think the east coast is any better, from having spent the majority of my life there.