I, Anonymous

Lend Them Your Ears, Bitch


But of course you didn't say anything to them at the time right?

Better to just rush to the computer to bang out a passive aggressive screed later.
Lame. If you didn't say anything, you are part of the problem. Your letter accomplishes less than nothing. Go home, IA, you suck.
" Sit Down in Front ASSHOLE!"
What is with the string of passive-aggressive snooze fests? Seriously, I, Anon, if you are a man, check your pants for balls, you may find them missing.
May be you should have asked for your money back.
I think the sand in your manclam is forming a pearl.
@5 You would be the expert about finding your balls missing.
Dear Shaved Bear,

I'm not sorry I turned you down, I'm simply not into you. I'm not gay, and even if I was, I'm not into "bears". I really don't fantasize about some stinky hairy old man like you fucking me up the ass.

Pleas stop stalking me.
@9 Well, if you find your missing balls you can write Dan about your hairy old men fantasies.
Again, TSB, I'm sorry your fantasy with me didn't work out. I'm just not into you. Let go, and find some other tall fit stud for your fantasy. The back pages of The Stranger have ads for Rent Boys that can help you out.
@11 You can tell Dan you already know how to find your "Rent Boys" - that will help him with his advice.
The Shaved Bear, you've already messaged me your fantisies, look I'm just not into the domination thing. If you want a boy, go down to Westlake Plaza and drop a few 20$. You can have what you want, and I know from your emails that you like 'em young but legal, and reasy to take what you told me in your email is a "HUGE ANACONDA". Go for it, dude, just stop stalking me.
For those that don't know, last week, the offered to "blow his load" all over my face. Naturally as a "straight man" I have an issue with this. And not just from the hygienic standpoint. Nothing against gay folks, but I like the female anatomy. So when a scantily clad gyrating and thrusting leather clad homosexual suggests that I observe their "privates" in an engorged state, I'm offended.
Ziff "doth protest too much, methinks."
There was a commenter named Ziffy
Whose HTML skills were iffy
He'd pick fights with fags
And omit closing tags
Which fucked up the thread in a jiffy.
@ 16 I like the tone of your post. It tells a lot of stories about some of the (prolific posters) on this site and their mean demeanor. Ziff is not of this world, he or she are not to be taken as serious as they would like to be taken. We are all anonymous here, aren't we?
Thanks for your comments, Fred and Long Way Home, but if you follow the bread crumbs, you will see a very distinctive trend in Shaved Bear's posts.

He rarely actually comments on the subject of the story, he usually just riles on me.

Why is this? I'll tell you.

Several months back, Shaved Pussy made a pass at me and I politely declined. It's not that I don't like overweight hairy guys (though I don't), or fat guys with tiny cocks (actually, a turn off), it's that I just wasn't "into" him.

He couldn't take the rejection and has been "stalking" me since that time.

Note that I often make comments that are actually relevant to the article, yet Shaves Ass generally only pipes up to insult me.

Shaved Anus has blocked his post history, though he only did that recently. The reason he blocked it is that he does not comment on stories, he only uses his account to stalk me.

In short, Shaved Cucumber is a fat hairy man with a small cock that lusted after me and could not take "no".

Absolute gold. Stranger "Hall of Fame" worthy. Very well done!
Aw, don't flatter yerself, Ziff. I've been jerking your paranoid homophobe chain for weeks now and predictably you embarass yourself every time with some screed about the hairy old dicks you keep dreaming about. You're so easy I almost feel guilty!
It's OK, Shaved Ass, therapy can help you. I understand that a hairy old queen like yourself would want a stud such as myself, but really, you might consider looking into Rent Boys.
Oh look, Ziff discovered how to make an alt.
This entire thread is an embarrassment.
Yikes. As always, way to keep it classy, readers. I was there, and direct eye contact and several "shhhh"'s were addressed directly to the subjects of this "I, Anonymous". All of which was completely ignored. Trust me, these people knew full well they were disturbing those around them.
This thread is a better I, Anonymous than the I, Anonymous that spawned it.

Bravo. Well done. Golf clap commencing.
This is the worst commenter community on the internet, and i read youtube comments
YOU trying tell someone that you paid to see the show. Then watch as they yell at you and call you names.

This is the reason I stopped going to ZooTunes. People treat the artists like background music and talk loudly. It's just rude and ridiculous. I asked the Zoo about it and they just shrugged. There went that zoo membership.
I always love comments where people tell others that if they didn't do something right then in the moment or cause a scene (that would have further fucked with the entire production, by the way), they shouldn't be posting these things or complaining. You guys realize that you're also bitching on the internet just like Anon is, right? $10 says that I can list all of the things you personally would have done differently than I, Anon in this situation. Here they are:
BLAM! @29 for the win.
Amen! Just because the performance is free does not give you license to act like an asshole. Would you do this in a theatre at a performance you paid to see? Actually, I bet you would.
Zoo tunes is the worst for that sort of thing. Seconded.
Man, Ziff had a good thing going for a long time there with the cocaine and malt liquor shtick, but more and more his thing is just to be a dick. I guess probably he was a dick all along - too bad.
From The Shaved Anus:
I've been jerking to your paranoid chain for weeks now...
Shaved Bear has been stalking me for sex for several years, since I was 18 (never before) and stalking gay bars in Seattle and ever since I turned him down at a bar someplace he's been after me. He just was not my type of guy.

I have nothing agaist the guy, nothing at all except I'm just not into "bears". Hairy guys. Not my type. Love them all over, but not my type.

The Shaved Anus became obcessed with me because I'm a young fit guy in my 20's and apperently that's what he digs. That's OK, I understand. But he could not take "no" as in NO.

He isnsists on following me to all my social places. I've seen him sitting at 13 Coins death gripping a mojito glearing at me. I'm sure there are "other things" he's death gripping.

The man needs help.
Wait, Ziff isn't into hairy Guys?

Crap, what a waste of leather chaps, and tangle free lube.