To the people who cheerfully declare that they have an "outdoor cat": I'd like to cheerfully declare that I'm an "outdoor neighbor" and park a giant turd on your doorstep. You see, your outdoor cat uses my yard as its personal toilet. My dog roots out the crap like a pig to truffles, eats it, and gets sick. Now, you could say I have a disgusting, dumbass dog, but you'd be missing the point. The point is, when my pet poops, I pick it up and throw it away. Why should your cat get a pass? And before you say, "Cats bury their shit," save it. A dusting of topsoil does not constitute proper burial. If you can't get enough of your cat's smug sense of superiority (which is rich considering cats have brains the size of walnuts), fine. But if you're too lazy to properly maintain a litter box (and its unavoidable stench), I don't blame you, but get a fucking goldfish. The next cat that wanders into my yard to drop a deuce gets a Super-Soaker spray of my piss. recommended