Dear Food-Court Vomitorium Mom: While I can appreciate the yuckiness of your experience at whatever consumer garbage disposal you were at with your son, I felt the urge to mention that your whines were published adjacent to a description of a woman who was raped by multiple predators while witnesses not only didn't help but actually recorded the violent act on their phones. I walk around every day knowing that I screamed for help while a man sat on me, pounding my head into the concrete on Boren Avenue. I made eye contact with a man who did nothing. Sorry you might have to explain to your son that people are mean (#bullies) and buy him a soda, but no amount of high-fructose corn syrup will ever make me feel better. When the cops finally showed up, they had a ride-along in the front seat, so I got to sit in the back of the cop car like I was the criminal. Cherry on top: The cop had to borrow my pen to write the "report," then left me on the side of the road.