To the "cool guy" at the bar: Inviting yourself to my table and not leaving when asked does merit me calling you an asshole. I don't even care that you felt obligated to puff up your chest and call me a cunt to maintain your masculinity. You are entitled to your opinion. However, I don't think it's okay to threaten to beat my friend's "faggot ass" because of what I said to you. I also don't see the need to somehow find me on the street hours later and reiterate what a cunt I am and then slap me. I was really impressed at the speed with which you were able to walk away, even when I asked you to kindly come say it to my face. I understand. After all, you are much smaller than me, which can be weird seeing as I am female and you are male. If you feel up to it, I would still love to invite you again to say it to my face. Bring your gaggle of gal pals with you, so they can idly stand by and watch you assault me again. It will be great.

—Anonymous



To submit an unsigned confession or accusation, send an e-mail to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and guilty.