Columns Jan 20, 2016 at 4:00 am


Steven Weissman


Search "transgender panties" on Etsy. Even if an off-the shelf product there isn't suitable, you should be able to find someone who'll do custom work.
Try Lane Bryant.
I don't think the person who drew the picture knows how vulvas work or look.
Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I wear this style of underwear!
Doctor: Then don't wear that style of underwear.
To the OP, Lingerie makers don't care about you or your 'gina or what you want to wear.
As someone with a decent pair of roast beef curtains, I can sympathize with how lots of underwear (and yoga pants) create a rather uncomfortable camel toe. Has the writer considered a SmoothGroove cup? It was meant to eliminate the fashion faux pas of the camel toe, not the discomfort, but it works for both purposes.
I think this is the best I, Anonymous ever.

@7: it's just "beef curtains".
Ok, that shit was gross to read.
@8: I agree. I've also heard the term "bacon sails" when I searched for baconsails (worlds largest purveyor of used sails).
@8 - Maybe XiaoGui17's curtains are more like roast beef. Who are we to judge?
I thought a vulva was a kind of car. try using a potato, but make sure it's in the front, not back.
Another idea is see if you can find a jockstrap and make some adjustments, or loose fitting depends with an additional plastic outer panty. I assume you've already checked the Big and Wide store, or I, Giantess, down in Renton. Hope I was helpful! Gotta go make a few more mil tonight. Bye!
As is often the case, I don't "get" the joke or the pun in the illustration.
I'm sure a simple google search would turn up exactly what you're looking for and then some.
meanwhile, 100s of millions of women are totally satisfied with lace panties (for some reason). There are, literally, alternatives.
A big clit and a nice set of lips?!?!?!?

By any chance do you have a strange fetish for wrinkley old guys?

^^^I laughed and threw up a little at the same time.
(And I like old guys)
And young guys (Hey Venom)
@19 and I thought I was the only one holding a secret torch for venomlash...
Nope. Sigh.
I feel for you. The makers of women's clothing get all sorts of things wrong. I mean if a woman is petite (short), don't you think it would make sense that not only are her legs short but that perhaps she might be short waisted as well and could do with a shorter inseam?! You would think that would be common sense, yet I keep finding "petite" jeans with waistbands that come up to my ribcage!
@20, 21 - If Venomlash ever makes himself known at a Slog Happy, the event will likely end in a pile of sweaty flesh.
I don't think anyone's torch for Mr. lash is secret.
@22: I think mom jeans "came back" some years ago, to the dismay of all.
Sup people. (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง
@2 and @12 - big/fat pussies do not mean that the person is also fat. The two are not mutually exclusive. Those stores only sell for larger sizes. How about a small woman with a fat pussy? You do know that's a thing, right? Also, if the large clit and labia hang outside of the vulva, it's more likely she's very small.

I'm now googling "smooth cup."
Fold one meat sail below the other and glue them together with dry seman...
I picked the wrong article to read while eating taco salad lunch.
@8: Beef curtains? I've always heard roast beef. I assumed it meant they resemble deli cold cuts spilling out from between the buns of a sub. While they are a little more generous than average, I'm not packing a full skirt steak in my panties.
If you want lace, try a fish net for that snapper.
Hahahahahaha! I have to say this thread is the funniest I've read in a week. Yay meat tacos!!!
@12 when you wreck a vulva it looks like a bulldog eating mayonnaise.
Now that is the funniest shit I've heard all week, lol @35 FTW!
@13: I think the idea is that her bits are so big she needs a big lace bag rather than panties. Illustrator needs to brush up on perspective so it makes visual sense.
I run a small underwear company out of Olympia called Fruit of the Womb. We specialize in feminist lingerie of all sizes, and $3 of every sale is donated to Planned Parenthood. I would love to make panties for you that won't just fit, they'll look amazing! Message me on Etsy or Instagram: @fruitofthewombundies

<3 Sarah
To add to Fruit of the Womb (great idea for a business, by the way) you would also find fabulous sewing skills from whomever makes custom made bikinis or the suits that fitness and bodybuilders use for their contests. My daughter (in another state and seriously not handy, sorry) is so good at it that when her three year old needs panties and they're too busy to run upstairs to get clothes (three year olds love nudity) she just whips out a custom pair on the spot. Those kinds of seamstresses also sew on some lovely textures of fabric. Good luck!
"Eat my pussy."

Vegan "I can't. I don't eat meat."

It's ok you're rolling your eyes. It was meant for the eye rolling audience.
Hankie Pankie. $20ish at Nordstroms. Tons of colors. You're welcome.
I love xiogui17.

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