Columns Feb 10, 2016 at 4:00 am

Force Yourself to Stop Crying

Steven Weissman

Comments

1
It was probably someone who was just laid off from their miserable $15.00/hr job, only to find out that their landlord raised the rent on their studio to ~1500/month in an effort to force them out for an AirB&B option. Of course any decent paying job requires a metro bus pass which is equal to a month of rent in Seattle and hang up eating since the averge item cost at the grocery store is $3.99, whether it be per gallon, per item or per pound. On the upside, gas is so cheap that a big ol healthy glass of it could do a body good! At least we know someone will be catching all the Star Wars movies that will be coming out - if not at an over-priced theatre, surely in a warm home on Netflix.
2
You could have asked the movie theatre staff to intervene.

You could have whispered to the crier, "You're bothering other people in the audience, and I'm sorry you're upset, but you should probably go find somewhere more private to hang out."

You could have - god forbid - found out whether they were okay. This actually sounds a lot like psychosis to me.

But no, you just sat there on your useless ass, for 40 minutes, assuming they were on drugs and being annoyed.

Grow up.

3
The person making a scene in the theater needs to grow up, not the person trying to watch the movie. It's really not their responsibility to find out if a grown ass adult is "okay", whether they are on drugs, psychotic, or anything else. Rational people are not in the habit of talking in the theater anyway.
4
@3 My point is that Anon could have done...Literally anything to attempt to deal with this situation. And instead they did nothing, and now they're whining about it. That's pretty distasteful. It's like refusing to button up your jacket and then whining that it's cold.

Also, assuming that anyone who behaves oddly in public must be on drugs (as opposed to maybe having a mental illness or disability) is ignorant.
5
@3 Generally, people who cry hysterically in public for long periods, oblivious to the fact that they are disturbing others, are not in full possession of their mental faculties, which means the concept of personal responsibility doesn't really apply. I suppose it's possible that this person was on a bad LSD trip, alone, in a movie theatre, but that strikes me as highly unlikely.
6
Really? I know tons of people who used to take acid and go to the movie theater, but that was years ago, and I don't really do drugs so I don't know if that's still a thing. Still, people who are in full possession of their mental faculties are very programmed not to talk, let alone risk making a scene with a potentially erratic person, in a movie theater. Hence why they did nothing.
7
Statistically speaking there are way more people that use drugs than people with mental illness. Just sayin.. If I had to place a bet.. Much more likely that it was drugs.
8
+1 @2
9
Anonymous, you're a heartless, uncaring, mean asshole. Perhaps this person was in a genuine crisis, and all you can do is bitch that they ruined your movie? No fucking pity for you.

You could always move seats if it bugged you that much, you passive-agressive idiot.
10
"I, Anonymous" sees a ton of this. "I know in my heart that I should have reached out to somebody, but I didn't, so I'll anonymously put some blame on them so I don't think about myself."
11
Look, I really don't mean to pick a fight, because I genuinely respect a lot of things that some of you have said in many previous discussions, especially Sea Otter. But I gotta say, I didn't get the impression that Anon felt s/he should have reached out to the person when I read this. Honestly, they probably would not have been able to make any positive difference, regardless of whether the person crying was psychotic or on drugs. A lot of people tend to avoid interacting with strangers in public who are acting like they're not all there, out of a desire to avoid escalating the situation or putting themselves in harm's way, no matter how much empathy (or even sympathy) they might have for them. And we don't know who Anon is either. For many lower working class people who are stuck living in bad neighborhoods, stuck working with the public, stuck riding the worst buses in the city, etc, that's kind of the default mode for interacting with strangers anyway. I've even known people, good people who fight hard for a social floor and better treatment for the mentally ill and addicts, who have acted erratically as a self defense strategy, because that shit gets people to leave you the fuck alone. The cause of the psychotic behavior does not matter. The only reason it even turned into a debate of whether they were on drugs or psychotic was because one of those things makes the person seem more sympathetic to people who weren't even there (that would be us).

I don't know you guys either, but I feel like a lot of working class, especially female, voices get erased in these sorts of discussions in Seattle, because there is genuine sympathy for people, but it turns into shaming us for bringing up the fact that we have to watch our backs all the time (which is exhausting), after we have have been in countless situations where we learned to watch our backs. It's kind of gas lighting.
12
Great comment ^
13
@11: Hear, hear!
14
@11, ok, but you're assuming the crying was some form of psychosis or mental illness. What if it was just a case of that person's Mom died that morning, or a nasty divorce or something?
I have sat and cried in public many times, because of awful things that have happened, and I couldn't control it, but I am not psychotic or mentally ill. I was just sad, horribly, terribly, inconsolably sad.

I didn't get the sense from Anon that that was what it wasn't. That's all.

We do need to protect ourselves, but what if.. At least make a fairer and more genuine assessment of the situation, rather than just being a dick about it.

15
@14, well I guess just the fact that he would stop and snicker in the middle of crying. But there are ways of handling other people's psychotic episodes with sensitivity too.
16
what the fuck do you people want? for them to ask, in the middle of a film, "HEY ARE YOU OK DO YOU NEED ANYTHING DO YOU WANT A NAPKIN OR SOME POPCORN?" no. don't start conver-fucking-sations in movies. and don't trip alone in crowded theaters.
18
What are you doing at the movies if your Mom just died? Go be with your family, or anyone that knows you. Don't go sit in a crowded public space where people expect to completely escape reality. I guess if this person got a divorce the OP should have found out and then escorted the jilted lover to the lobby for counseling? What exactly do you do when you find out this person is dealing with a real emotional issue that literally no one can change? Bringing a crying adult into a movie theater is no different than bringing a crying baby. It is simply not a place to be for people who can't control themselves. If you need help, or a hug, or whatever, then make a scene in the lobby. Don't wait for everyone to sit down, get comfy, dig into their snacks, and the lights go off until you start your desperate plea for attention.
19
@11 Just saw your comment. Thanks for the respect for my opinions, and it goes both ways. Cheers.
20
That behavior is weird as shit. Avoid at all costs.
21
It's terribly sad that the reaction to hearing a person crying is to ignore them, whether it's for fear of how they'll react or because their sadness is merely an inconvenience (and besides you're busy mentally composing your passive aggressive IA).

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