MONDAY, JUNE 22 This week of affordable health care, marriage equality, and an American president at the top of his game kicked off in California, where today a superior court judge struck down the Sodomite Suppression Act, a proposed ballot initiative that sought to make homosexuality punishable by "death by bullets to the head or by any other convenient method." Filed by some Bible-thumping loon for $200, the would-be initiative was rejected as "unconstitutional on its face" by superior court judge Raymond M. Cadei, who brought a generous solemnity to what had to be one of the stupider tasks of his judicial career. "This proposed act is the product of bigotry, seeks to promote violence, is patently unconstitutional, and has no place in a civil society," said California attorney general Kamala Harris in a statement to BuzzFeed News. "My office will continue to fight for the rights of all Californians to live free from hatred and intolerance." (Spoiler alert: foreshadowing.)
TUESDAY, JUNE 23 In better news, the week continued with puppies! In worse news, today concerns puppies stuffed with drugs. Details come from ABC News, which identified our central villain as 33-year-old Andres Lopez Elorza, a Venezuelan veterinarian accused of sending heroin from Colombia to the United States inside puppies. "Police said Colombian authorities discovered 6.6 pounds of heroin implanted in three puppies during a 2005 raid on a clinic the vet ran in Medellin," reported ABC, adding that Elorza had escaped prosecution for years until Colombia's national court authorized his extradition to the US last month. Today, a spokeswoman for Colombia's civil guard announced that the puppy-stuffing vet had been arrested while attempting to hide in the northwestern town of Santa Comba.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24 In better news, the week continued with Rose McGowan, the American actor who famously passed through Seattle's Roosevelt and Nova Alternative High Schools en route to Hollywood, where she made a name for herself in films by Brian De Palma, Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, and Gregg Araki. Last year, McGowan made her directorial debut with Dawn, a short film that premiered at the 2014 Sundance Film Festival, and she's still keeping a foot in the Hollywood actor pool, as evidenced by a tweet sent out by McGowan last week. Inspired by a note attached to a script encouraging her to audition wearing a form-fitting tank top and push-up bra, McGowan tweeted her disbelief and the words "name of male star rhymes with Madam Panhandler hahahaha I die." Which brings us to today, when McGowan delivered another galling tweet: "I just got fired by my wussy acting agent because I spoke up about the bullshit in Hollywood. Hahaha. #douchebags #awesome #BRINGIT." "I'm not trying to vilify Adam Sander," McGowan told Entertainment Weekly today. "I was offended by the stupidity more than anything. I was offended by the fact that went through so many people's hands and nobody red-flagged it. This is normal to so many people. It was probably even a girl that had to type it up. It's institutionally okay." Tomorrow, Adam Sandler and his team will distance themselves from the note, claiming to have been unaware it was sent with the script and denouncing it as "completely inappropriate." Meanwhile, the ACLU continues its push for a state and federal investigation of Hollywood's hiring practices, which are allegedly so stained with sexism it amounts to a civil-rights violation. Stay tuned, and you are awesome, Ms. McGowan.
THURSDAY, JUNE 25 Nothing happened today, unless you count the gratifying Supreme Court decision upholding Obamacare, with the Supremes voting 6 to 3 to reject the second stupid conservative challenge to the Affordable Care Act, this one predicated on some bullshit semantic premise that nevertheless could've resulted in more than six million Americans being left without access to health care. Thank you to the half-dozen justices who guaranteed—as President Obama put it—that "the Affordable Care Act is here to stay."
FRIDAY, JUNE 26 Nothing happened today, unless you count the Supreme Court voting 5 to 4 to legalize same-sex marriage in the United States, an era-defining act that drove small-minded people to doomsday sputtering and more substantial minds to generous eloquence. "Sometimes there are days like this, when that slow, steady effort is rewarded with justice that arrives like a thunderbolt," said President Obama. "Today should also give us hope that on the many issues with which we grapple, often painfully, real change is possible. Shift in hearts and minds is possible. And those who have come so far on their journey to equality have a responsibility to reach back and help others join them, because for all of our differences, we are one people, stronger together than we could ever be alone." To cement his stature as a presidential superhero, Obama then got himself to the memorial of Reverend Clementa Pinckney, one of the nine black churchgoers gunned down last week in Charleston, South Carolina. At today's Charleston service, Obama delivered a bracing sermon-speech (complete with organ-blast punctuation) that honored the unique role of the church in the lives of black Americans, blasted both violent and subtle racism, and called for gun control, then began singing "Amazing Grace"—the first few bars a cappella, the rest with the backing of a galvanized congregation. The day ended with the White House lit up like a rainbow wedding cake and right-wing conservatives twisting themselves in knots.
SATURDAY, JUNE 27 The week continued with a story that already sounds like a heroic folktale that will be passed down for generations: the saga of Bree Newsome, the 30-year-old woman who, mere hours before a pro-Confederacy rally on the grounds of the South Carolina state capitol, shimmied up the capitol's 30-foot flagpole and snatched down the goddamn Confederate flag. Upon returning to the ground with the flag in hand, the heroic Newsome was arrested, released on bond, and promptly and properly lionized on the internet.
SUNDAY, JUNE 28 The week ended with a cool and blissful Pride Sunday in Seattle and some closure in that three-week-old prison-escapee saga in New York. As readers may recall, convicted murderers David Sweat and Richard Matt were found missing from a maximum-security prison in upstate New York on June 6 and remained at large until this week, with Friday bringing the fatal shooting of Matt by federal agents and today bringing the nonfatal shooting and apprehension of Sweat. The end.
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