MONDAY, JULY 6 This week of eavesdropped poetry, Islamic empathy, and allegedly vengeful restaurateurs kicked off with the Associated Press, the perennially-referenced-by-Last-Days news organization that recently secured our eternal devotion by going to court to compel the release of court documents related to a Bill Cosby sex-abuse lawsuit. As all sentient humans are aware, Cosby faces accusations of sexual misconduct from more than two dozen women, many of whom claim to have been drugged and raped by the comedian. The court documents sought by the Associated Press pertain to a 2005 lawsuit by an alleged Cosby victim and were released to the AP today. The information contained within was shocking: Testifying under oath, Cosby admitted to acquiring quaaludes with the intent of giving the powerful sedatives to young women he hoped to have sex with, and he confirmed giving the drug to at least one woman and "other people." As CNN reported, Cosby and his lawyers fought to keep the incriminating court documents hidden, claiming their release would "embarrass" Cosby and violate his privacy. In a cosmically just twist, US District judge Eduardo Robreno ruled that Cosby sacrificed his right to absolute privacy through his extensive public moralizing, which typically involved Cosby berating black Americans for what he perceived as their failures. Striking down Cosby's arguments that his private court transcripts were none of the Associated Press's business, Robreno wrote, "The stark contrast between Bill Cosby, the public moralist, and Bill Cosby, the subject of serious allegations concerning improper (and perhaps criminal) conduct, is a matter as to which the AP—and by extension the public—has a significant interest." Among those with a more-than-significant interest in today's damning transcripts: Cosby's many accusers, who rejoiced at having the denial-spewing Cosby caught under oath. "I kept it a secret because I was afraid to talk about it, because of Mr. Cosby's power," said Cosby accuser Joan Tarshis to CNN. "Then, when we came out, and lots of other women started to come out, we were called liars. I'm just so relieved that the truth has come out."
TUESDAY, JULY 7 The week continued with an update on a story that recently appeared in this column, concerning the rash of fires that have damaged at least eight African American churches across the southern United States in the weeks since a well-armed racist fatally shot nine parishioners at Charleston, South Carolina's Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church. The engine of today's update: the coalition of Muslim groups that came together to launch an online fundraiser to help rebuild the burned churches. "It's Ramadan, and we are experiencing firsthand the beauty and sanctity of our mosques during this holy month," reads the coalition's statement on its LaunchGood fundraising page. "All houses of worship are sanctuaries, a place where all should feel safe." "The coalition—which consists of US organizations Muslim Anti-Racism Collaborative and the Arab American Association of New York as well as digital startup Ummah Wide—has so far raised over $23,000 in five days," reported Al Jazeera America. "After the campaign ends on July 18, the money will be given to pastors of the burned churches that need it most, the groups said."
WEDNESDAY, JULY 8 Meanwhile in Seattle, the week continued with a freaky story involving Shilla, the well-regarded Korean restaurant at Eighth and Denny owned by Scott Koh, who today faced charges of kidnapping and assault after allegedly getting a number of his employees to help him exact revenge on his estranged wife's boyfriend. "Prosecutors say [boyfriend] Chris McMonagle was kidnapped and tortured—tased over and over, then beaten," reported KING 5. "After spending days in Harborview Medical Center, McMonagle was in court Wednesday, facing Koh, the alleged mastermind of the plan." During today's court proceedings, Koh and three of his employees pleaded not guilty to kidnapping and assault in front of a courtroom packed with friends and supporters there to validate Koh's stature in the community. Prosecutors, however, weren't having it: "A person can be intelligent, kind, and generous to those he cares about, but also controlling, manipulative, and violent to those who cross him, and that is what Scott Koh was," said a prosecuting attorney. "He saw his estranged wife slipping away into the arms of another man, and he enlisted a team to savagely beat the victim, torture him, and eliminate him." Koh remains held on a half-million-dollars bail.
THURSDAY, JULY 9 Nothing happened today, including the four million trips typically taken daily on the London subway system, thanks to the striking transportation workers whose push for better wages left millions of Londoners scrambling to get their asses around town. A follow-up strike is planned for August 5.
FRIDAY, JULY 10 Meanwhile in South Carolina, today brought the way-too-late-but-still-appreciated removal of the Confederate flag from the grounds of the state capitol, with the pro-slavery flag relegated to a "relic room" at a state-run military museum. "The Civil War flag, which had flown at the State House for 54 years, came down less than a month after a white gunman killed nine black men and women in a historic Charleston church," reported Reuters. "In Washington, the Federal Bureau of Investigation said on Friday that the man charged in the massacre, Dylann Roof, was erroneously able to buy a gun due to a mix-up in a federal background check." Now that we've got the flag issue settled, it's time to address the fucking guns.
SATURDAY, JULY 11 In lighter news, the week continued with some A-plus public declarations made by a pair of twentysomething women having a boozy brunch at a Beacon Hill cafe and overheard by Last Days, who was seated at a nearby table. Among the proclamations that caught our ear with inimitable twentysomethingness: "I've noticed that's a reoccurring theme of me," "I think eating prevents me from feeling weird," "I miss Robin! I haven't seen her in a week," and "Wherever you go, there you are—thanks, Yoda!"
SUNDAY, JULY 12 The week ended with a return to the saga of Bill Cosby, thanks to a New York Post story offering insight into the saga's most mysterious player: Camille Cosby, the disgraced comedian's wife of 51 years, who remains her husband's business manager and most ardent defender. Regarding the release of Bill's under-oath quaalude confession: "Camille still doesn't believe that Bill provided drugs and had sex with women without their consent," a source employed by the Cosby family told the Post. "She's well aware of his cheating, but she doesn't believe that her husband is a rapist." Said another Cosby-affiliated source: "The more people stand against him, the more she perceives it as an affront to her and all that she's done to make him a star." Condolences to Camille Cosby, who sealed herself to a man who only wants sex when his partner appears dead, and good luck to prosecutors in Los Angeles and Las Vegas, who are now reassessing five decades of sexual-assault allegations against her husband.
Send hot tips to firstname.lastname@example.org and follow me on Twitter @davidschmader.