New Column!

Lady Crystal's Predictions for 2010—and Beyond!

Comments

1
2010 is gonna be the year of the snot rocket.
2
Atlantic City? No. Branson, Missouri? Now we're talking. While viewing the corpse in state, mourners and other slack-jawed yokels will be serenaded by a loop recording of Dolly Parton's rendition of "Imagine."

That's right, the bible-humping hypocrite actually covered John Lennon's Imagine. Hearing it causes me to consider the pros and cons of scraping out my eyeballs with a shrimp fork.
3
I second the Branson notion. I've been there many times - it was a professional liability, not a choice. It seems like all they do there is worship the well preserved, just look at Andy Williams!