By Lulu Manolis, webmaster at cumberbatchinmyhair.biz
Hear my words, Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, and mark them well: I hereby declare, for all the world to see, that if Benedict Cumberbatch does not win the Oscar for best performance by an actor in a leading role at the Academy Awards ceremony this coming Sunday, then Monday morning will be the last you ever see of cumberbatchinmyhair.biz, the Benedict Cumberbatch fan blog I established in 2012, shortly after BBC America broadcast the miniseries Parade's End. (Ironically, Parade's End would only escape being squeezed out of my personal Top Tenedict by the narrowest of margins; I elaborate my reasons on my FAQ page.) You may think this is an idle threat, mere words designed to elicit a shocked response, but let me assure you: IT IS ANYTHING BUT. Sir Benedict—it's only a matter of time—gives "the performance of the century" (—Lulu Manolis, cumberbatchinmyhair.biz) as Alan Turing in The Imitation Game. You know this. You nominated him. We're cool, Academy. But be warned: If you try to pull any of that BAFTA shit and give the trophy that rightfully belongs to Ben E. King™ (registered trademark of cumberbatchinmyhair.biz, ©2013, no erasees) to Eddie "Dead to Me" Redmayne, or any of the other hounds nominated in the category—two comedians and a teen idol/war criminal, by my count—there WILL be consequences. As you know, I shall be live-blogging the ceremony, so events will play out in real time. You know my position. Ball's in your court, Academy. The world is watching.