WESTEROS (AP)—The realms on both sides of the Wall are reeling from the news that the Night's King, presumed leader of the mysterious White Walkers, is not undead, but rather a living, sentient being. The disclosure came shortly after the recent White Walker attack on Hardhome, when King's interest in lord commander of the Night's Watch Jon Snow began to arouse suspicion among several members of the undead community.
"I don't get how one living is different from another, TBH," one White Walker wrote on Twitter shortly after the battle. That single tweet set off a chain reaction that ended with the Night's King granting a rare interview to the Westeros Post-Intelligencer, during which he admitted to having been born alive, to living parents, "though I don't like to talk about that part of my... you know... that portion of time. Even in Skroth."
Little else is known of the Night's King's history, but it has been rumored that he was born during the Age of Heroes and even served as the 13th lord commander of the Night's Watch. King acknowledged that his wispy white hair was "a weave, but natural" and that his telltale ice-blue eyes had been altered by "prescription contacts" but declined to answer any further questions about his heritage, expressing outrage that they were being asked. "I identify as undead," he told the reporter, and stormed out of the interview into the vast frozen wasteland beyond the Wall. It is thought that this controversy explains why the long-anticipated White Walker siege on the Wall did not take place as expected on Sunday night.
Reactions in the White Walker community have been severe.
"I don't know how to feel, frankly," one visibly emotional White Walker told reporters, before unleashing a terrifying howl and killing them all horribly.
"How the fuck is he alive?" asked another. "I've seen him raise the dead! What, was that just a parlor trick? I thought we were supposed to be this invincible fucking zombie army or whatever. This is a game changer."
Not everyone shares their concerns.
"It doesn't matter that much to me, to be honest," said one sworn brother of the Night's Watch, who spoke on the condition of anonymity. "My job doesn't change whether he's living, dead, undead, green, purple, or blue—if he comes over that wall, he'll taste my steel. People are freaking out about it, though, that's for sure. They say he used to be the lord commander. That's about as serious as it gets. It's bringing a lot of shit to the surface."
He paused to wipe an encrustation of frozen snot mixed with blood from his nose and gave a pensive look.
"We all take our oath really seriously," said the sworn brother of the Night's Watch. "But I mean, there are easier ways of getting out of it than becoming a White Walker. Who would do that?"