1. "I'm still not feeling anything. Maybe we should take another one?"

2. "Block Party tickets went on sale today, but I'm gonna wait till they announce the full lineup."

3. "My landlord says he's cool with month-to-month if I am."

4. "I am SICK AND TIRED of all the white-male bashing on social media, and this Facebook post will demonstrate the righteousness of my stance ONCE AND FOR ALL! [RETURN]"

5. "I am thrilled to announce that I have accepted a position at Amazon.com and will be relocating to Seattle in the spring."

6. "No, I'm not getting a flu shot. You think I want my kid to be autistic?"

7. "I did it, you guys! I quit that soul-sucking job so I can concentrate on the novel full-time!"

8. "I borrowed some money from my folks so we can finally afford to do the cassette pressing of the new record."

9. "These tickets to see Seth MacFarlane sing with the Seattle Symphony at Benaroya Hall cost a pretty penny, but my girlfriend is going to LOVE IT!"

10. "Guys, get real! There will never be a President Trump. Just sit back and enjoy the show." recommended