Hey Tim in Cleveland,

Your "nicotine addiction" only lasted for about 2 days. The rest was all in your head. Are you willing to be uncomfortable? Are you willing to want to smoke, and not do it anyways?

Or must you eventually give into any petty desire?

When is it time to put away childish toys?

When will you stop advertising to the world your weakness?

Just be willing to suffer a little bit for it, and you'll likely find (as I did, after this year plus of BLISSFUL nonsmoking, following 15 years of *totally committed* smoking) that it's quite easy to not smoke. Even preferable.

Turns out, you never liked smoking to begin with. You've just been faking it for a long while.

Stop smoking cigarettes, deal with the minor discomfort of changing a habitual behavior, and MOVE ON TO SOMETHING BETTER!!!!

Good luck and blowjobs, my friend!

Tim in Cleveland:
If you play around with your fetish, you might be able to find something close enough to be satisfied. Have you tried clove cigarettes or weed?

Many people can smoke in moderation, once and a while, just in social situations or when they want to enjoy one on their own. I, for one, have been doing this for 15 years, and I smoke anywhere from zero to 4 cigs a day, often going weeks without one. I enjoy the taste, and the feeling - and yes, it is a fetish for me. Women who smoke are, quite simply, HOT. But it is very possible to enjoy the fetish, as I do, and still smoke in moderation without any adverse health impacts. EMBRACE your fetish and be yourself.

hahaha i've been listening to amanda palmer and her different band formations all day. finding a dresden dolls reference amidst sex advice was really great

I, too, came across this old post and am a smoking fetishist. My fetish predates my relationship, and I'm with a non-smoker. My personal (hopefully quick) story is this: I've been active in the sf community since way before I was old enough to be. I ended up telling my girlfriend after almost a year of being together. She was fine with it. I also told her it'd be a turn-on for her to smoke, but by no means do I expect her to nor want her to just FOR me. Its been almost 5 years since then. She's never smoked, but does have an e-cig every once in a while or plays with an unlit cigarette. My point is this: be honest, find a workaround you're BOTH comfortable with. If thats not possible it isn't that the fetish pre-dates you, its that he/she (more than likely he) loves the fetish more than you. It hurts, but its true.