Savage Love

Cara Kicks Ass


God Damn! luckily it seems you didn't have many readers back then, what if some idiot didn't understand the not-so-serious aspect and did something stupid, why wouldn't you encourage the couple to find a clean sperm donor friend?

I once rubbed peanut butter with mustard and soysauce all over my head because these two nitwits that had a radio show told me it would grow hair. Thank God I figured it out when I called in to the radio show and she told me I had to buy a puppy to make the hair potion work,

in full disclosure

I wasn't the one who technically figured it out. I didn't have enough money for a puppy from the pet store, so I had to go to Greenhill (my local animal shelter here in town) I must have had a guardian Angel watching out for me or something, because it was either that Angel or sheer luck great enough to qualify as a bonafide miracle. The volunteer was also listening to the variety show and was kind enough to tell me that the DJ's weren't being serious.

In a way I consider myself lucky, had I not had the peanut butter/mustard/soy sauce concoction all over my head, and had it not been summer and so hot that the shower cap couldn't prevent my heroin brown sweat running down my forehead, she would have not never put two and two together and figured out I was the caller from the radio show