DTMFA? Wow, helpful advice...read "You Don't Have to Take It Anymore: How to Turn a Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One." Free Press, '05. It is important to anyone deeply involved and dealing with "resentment." Good luck.

JBKJr, wtf? The first guy is controlling in every way, and even abusive. Telling a woman in this situation she should read a book on how to fix her marriage is absolutely wrong. Anything that puts the onus on the victim is unforgivable. As is characterising someone's feelings toward serious mistreatment as 'resentment'.

After 20 years trying all the advice from well-meaning friends, colleagues and therapists on how to fix my marriage, I realized something. It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a controlling husband to notice that he is wrong. Living with an abuser is eating a dose of poison every day. If you are in an abusive relationship and someone tells you it's up to you to make it work, don't believe them. Just get the hell out, now.

I hope SAD gave her boyfriend a good beating before she left, at least to make him understand why he's a terrible boyfriend...

And perhaps steal some of his cash too, it's what he deserves, the miser.