Columns Jan 24, 2008 at 4:00 am

Guest Expert

Comments

1
Dear OUCH,

While I am not an expert on BDSM, I am worried about your girlfriend's approach. The use of fire and knives is considered "edge play" and that's pretty advanced stuff. The standard concept behind BDSM is a power exchange based on control.

One scenario is to get the sub to break under pressure. While this can take longer to reach without power tools or weapons the same effect can be achieved with a bare ass and a palm (somewhat like drinking beer versus tequila shots). Most true dommes enjoy the slow play and escalation involved. The point is not to hurt the sub, but to push their limits of tolerance for pain. Part of the game is to make the sub want the experience in order to please the dom. One goal in these scenarios is to get the sub to enter what is called "subspace". That also requires an attentive and nuturing dom to provide care for the sub during that sequence.

Something in this sounds amiss. There is a difference between a good domme and a man-hating sadist. Make sure that you know who you're playing with.

Since this is almost four years later I would suggest anyone who may be encountering a similar scenario to check with the BDSM experts on FetLife.com.
2
Is anyone as sick as I am at seeing SlimJim's banal advice at the bottom of every frikking column? Every. Frikkin. One. Who does he think he is? Does he not have a life? Please shoot me. Shoot me now.
3
I like SlimJim's comments.
4
Mostly I just wish I didn't know what he looked like (via his avatar), as it makes many of his comments weird & TMI. But that's my hangup. Some of his comments are interesting; many are oblivious & miss the point of the collumn entirely, & a Few have been offensivel as hell. I guarantee you're not the only one, if that's what you're after, because... Duh. It will inevitably annoy some readers to see his face after every column. But it's easy just not to read it, ya know?

Please wait...

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