Savage Love

Open It, Already

Comments

1
When I was 39, I agreed to be sexual mentor to a 22 yr old. I didn't have time for a relationship, so it seemed a win -win concept. He was so intent on convincing me I was everything he wanted, I eventually fell for the tale, though I insisted he retain the option of exploring sex with others, as long as he was honest. I believed that I should treat him with care, patience and generosity to leave him better off in the long run. However, that misguided sense of responsibility, got me played. While I grew increasignly devoted and committed at his request for reassurance, he began a machiavellian plan to discretely skim money from bank accounts. He used the puss and boots strategy anytime I had a question. He merrily and dishonestly led mutiple lives where he used fake names, female prositutes, and sold his sex to men. Meanwhile at home he was a scared virgin with deep rooted hangups blamed on strict upbringing. He pasionately professed love and devotion daily. " I am the luckiest man to have such a loving beautiful partner" claimed he. I discovered by accident this scourge has stolen assets. That led me to discover he also advertised selling unprotected sex to men. I was unknowingly exposed to death risk when he insisted we have unprotected sex to make a baby. So, if you are older and think you want to leave the world a better place teaching a younger "innocent"lover in need of help, remember there is nothing in it for you long term, no matter what they say or want you believe. As an understanding compassionate experienced adult, you could end up as PREY to a young person. This human garbage got a free ride for 3 years, I didn;t even get a thank you. Also, If you can discard the carcan of belief you are more than 50% responsible for the relationship as in " campsite theory", you will be better off. My faith
in mankind is shattered. I used to like dick now it looks like a dangerous weapon to me.
2
It seems my life has been spent at a campsite. One of my first affairs was with a friend's mother. I was 17 she was 38. That ended for good reasons, but we stayed friends until she died (and her son hopefully still doesn't know). When I was 18 she was a 36-year-old coworker. I ended that one when she appeared to want more than a secret fling. The next year when I was 19 I moved in with my 31-year-old girlfriend. Actually, since she was a lapsed Catholic I may have had more sexual experience than she did, and I was way more adventurous and desirous than she, but the relationship was of equals (as much as it could be). It ended after seven years, badly, but not due to the age difference. After that I found and married a woman exactly my age (two months older). That lasted 19 years. After that it was a woman five years younger than me (notice the trend?) and we lasted five years. I am now 50 and married to a Chinese woman who is 29. Given her age I can't call this a campsite. She had enough experience before me that she is a full-fledged adult. While there is total sharing as partners, I often play the role of elder and teacher, but she has a history of pursuing older men, so she likes and expects and even requires that.

Along the way I had a what I consider to be a more standard campsite story that involved my 17-year-old babysitter. This story is long and some parts may sound somewhat apocryphal and straight out of Penthouse forum, but I can promise you it's true. After long consideration and a several year opportunity window I did not pursue things with her. Partly based on my marriage, partly based on what I felt was her mental instability, and partly based on the small voice in my head saying, "Ick!" Ten years later the only regret I have is that I would have been a great camp counselor. Soon after I moved out of her life she encountered some serious issues that were sexually related (another long story that can actually be Googled). I doubt that I could have saved her, but at the least I truly think she could have benefited from my tutelage.

I don't know how I would evaluate the campsite rule in my life. Looking back I have no issue with how the older women treated me and I hope that I always treated my loved ones with care and respect.
3
CNDKITTI lost me at "I was unknowingly exposed to death risk when he insisted we have unprotected sex to make a baby." You had unprotected sex with a boy 17 years younger than yourself with the intention of conceiving? How were you honoring the campsite rule again?