Columns Jul 17, 2008 at 4:00 am

Open Your Mouth


Rock the fuck on dan!
That's actually pretty true. The best way to get over a break up is to get under someone else.

Your helpful neighborhood psych major.
"After all, kids, the same vengeful, sex-obsessed, entirely fictitious God who disapproves of premarital sex also disapproves of any and all "nonintercourse ways" of getting your boyfriend off. Spilling his seed is a sin, too, NSFU, whether you're helping him spill on the ground or on your tonsils".

Hey Dan, I think you should research more on the God you are calling fictitious and read his book (Bible) properly and with sincerity. I'm absolutely sure that it will do you some good because it's very bad to say damaging things about someone you do not know and misinterpret what he says to suit you and your audience (or fans).

My dear woman who talked about "pre-marital sex", I think you should better listen to your parents. Your parents might sound archaic, but what they see standing on the ground, you'll not be able to see even if you climb a tree. Talk to your fiance, if he loves and respects you, he'll listen to you. Remember, there's more to life than sex.
Alright, Mr. Truth here might be putting it on a little thick. If I may, perhaps you are bringing personal theories into this a bit too strongly. It seemed rather obtrusive to go beyond "you can make up your own minds about sex," after that, you're just wasting your time.
"God who disapproves of premarital sex" + "Spilling his seed is a sin, too," true and true. So what is the problem? took the long way to say it but he is correct. And she is lying to herself.
Mr Truth, I'm sorry to say, but I've read the Bible twice over, and it's not at all what you claim it to be. I've read the Bible with sincerity, under the advice of loving parents, and I came away shocked -- literally shocked -- by how much evil that books contains. Wars, infanticide, massacres of innocent populations, nepotism ('God's chosen people'), lies and deceit -- I can't think of a single mortal sin that is not recommended somewhere in the Bible.

I'm sorry, but this is one of the worst books I've ever seen to give you moral advice. Even though I am quite smitten by the person of Jesus -- a guy I certainly would like to meet -- I have the impression (let's say He told me) that he would rather support Dan's attitude than what the Bible suggests (the Bible is, after all, a book Jesus didn't write and, I am sure, would have many problems with).

For a good commentary on the Bible's many errors, lies, deceitful statements, unethical and immoral suggestions, and pure and simple bigotry, have a look at:
I don't care what the bible says. Refraining from intercourse because of others' views is just immature all the way around. Any adult who just grudgingly performs sexual tasks and doesn't speak up is a resentment time bomb! What of the genius who can't figure out that hey, maybe his wife-to-be has needs, too?? I echo Dan's sentiment about birth control methods. If a conception happens, hold your head up high and make a decision about it. Be an adult! Sleep deprived or not, this is a great column.
I suppose that there is no real point to me responding randomly to agree with ankylosaur (Like your name by the way. That was my favorite dinosaur as a kid), but I agree that any person who has actually read the bible and still doesn't hate god for being a complete asshole, is in fact immoral.

And, I mean, that's god's propaganda; not something written to defame it by its enemies. But if it exists, I hope it withers and dies.

Please wait...

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