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800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
The asshole's like, an inch away from the vagina. It's not that different, position wise.
I'm a woman, and I like missionary position anal because you get the nice grind on your clit. Obviously if you're a guy, there's a cock there instead, but I imagine the mechanics are basically the same.
Not to mention the fact that the vaginal canal is basically collapsed against itself most of the time, so you'd have to overfill it and somehow prevent all that latex from leaving it, either through the vulva or the cervix.
Moral of the story: probably a bad idea.
Dan, Thank you for calling out DSS and his boyfriend on their disgusting, and potentially dangerous fetish. Considering DSS refers to HIV/AIDS as a "pest" is our first clue that should these two come-craving lovebirds ever disperse, they will likely take their reckless behavior with them. They can claim to be clean, but the sexual acts they engage in are most assuredly dirty.
But more telling/alarming to me is that he doesn't give a "straight" answer to her Qs about orientation. EVERY straight guy (and some self-closeted or lying gay guys) will loudly proclaim their straightness.
Dan's right that she needs to DTMFA. But as she moves on, she shouldn't discount her likely accurate assessment of his orientation. To find such a guy "the boy of her dreams" suggests she's at risk of more of the same fag-haggery and needs to look carefully for those decidedly straight but senstive guys. You'll be doing them a favor if you get them before the pre-lesbians do.
And for what it's worth, you don't stick your dick in the bottle. (Mountain Dew does make a wide-mouthed bottle, but most of the others are too small for that.) But you can set the head of your dick ON the lip of the bottle, line it up with your urethra and everything will still aim properly--but you need to hold on fiercely to maintain a sort of seal, and you have to bear in mind that the bottle gets heavier as it fills and you need to adjust your grip accordingly, or you'll have a horrible, unspeakable mess. It was actually a terrifying experience, and I don't have roommates anymore.
Also, is it possible that the reader lived in New York City? Because I doubt this sort of thing happens in places with plentiful public facilities.
I'd dump him for his stupidity.
My hair and fingernails are pretty harmless in medical terms, but you don't see me keeping bags of that around, or letting the floor turn into a carpet of human waste.
Ew. I just icked myself out.
Don't judge me.
However, when moving with a person who is your S/o, I think its fair to piss in a bottle and walk it into the bathroom in front of them simply because you are paying rent and it lets them know they tok too long.
WHAT Women are you sleeping with looks like a dude with you are doing doggie? 'Cause she needs to be dropped, LOLZ. Man, dude I feel bad for the straight guy like likes anal as he's obviusly a 'pre-gay' then. Effin' Pre-Fag.
Here is one such professional in the UK:
http://privatesculpture.co.uk/gallery7.html
Or maybe he gets off on people finding his piss in bottles.
At any rate, even if he lived with lots of people before and needed the bottle, shouldn't he have gotten rid of it when he moved in with the girlfriend? It's not like there will be much of bathroom issue, right?
And for the record, I, too, am a woman and I piss in the shower all the time--and it grosses my boyfriend out.
I would like to see a poll like this:
I'm a woman, and I never pee in the shower
I'm a woman, and I have peed in the shower, guiltily
I'm a woman, and I pee freely in the shower
I'm a man, and I never pee in the shower
I'm a man, and I have peed in the shower, guiltily
I'm a man, and I pee freely in the shower
You know what I mean. So much for the kinks herein :(
"Oh! She's so disgusting!"
whatever.
A guy whose dick doesn't get fully hard and doesn't like blowjobs and doesn't like to look the girl in the face while fucking AND is uncommunicative could easily have a troubled background, to wit: a fundamentalist set of parents and extended family who isolated him socially and made him self-loathing and deeply ashamed of sex. For such a person (speaking from personal experience), accepting a blowjob from a woman, particularly woman you have strong feelings for, because (here is the mental script) "this act is DISGUSTING and TERRIBLE, and the person doing it must be SUFFERING HORRIBLY doing it to me, oh no, I'm feeling pleasure from this terrible thing, I'm an awful person doomed to everlasting pain in hell!"
Does anybody here see that having that script running through one's head at 120 decibels would interfere with erections and pleasure and with looking at the person who is involved in the damned acts with you?
There are a lot of very damaged people out there, damaged in ways which others who have had normal, positive sexual experiences and who have a reasonably positive view of themselves will have difficult understanding.
It's 28 years since I left home and I'm still not over everything.
You know after a few years you will find her sportin a few hairs and not giving a damn. Pising in bottles, I repat, is when you ahve no choice. it's not a thing you do just to do.
God, some people are daft. Would you rather have a bottle pisser or a person who wets themselves or the bed on ocassion?
That kind of frat boy shit is revolting and reflects a serious lack of motivation. He's so lazy he can't pee in a toilet? Can he get out of bed? Brush his teeth? Go to work? Wash his skidmarks out of his piss-scented underwear?
Come on, Dan. No woman should EVER have to put up with a man who regularly chooses to pee in a bottle rather than get his lazy ass up and use the toilet. That is NOT OKAY.
peeing in the shower? i'm surprised if the savage audience finds this is even a topic to talk about. i HAPPILY pee in the shower. it's just water, what we're all made of. i am female, for those readers who think gender relates to all this.
If he is your boyfriend you need to give him the benefit of the doubt. But I can also assume that you have either never been to a college party or never had roommates in college.
The odds that your boyfriend pissed into a Spite bottle in the middle of the night (in the dark) is a difficult task. Then he did not pee all over you, the bed and the floor is amazing.
I have to assume that because you are so clean that you are also one of those girls that stay in the shower for hours (especially after sex because you feel dirty). Then the poor guy wakes up and after the first hour has the choice you disturbing you in the bathroom or using the Spite bottle.
I think he needs to dump your for going around smelling bottles.
She, on the other hand, has her own set of hang ups. Just moved in together, empty bottle amongst the other moving trash, and she "figured [she]'d leave it there and let him pick it up along with his other trash in [their] bedroom"? Isn't it a little early to get that passive-aggressive? You're not his mom (although he doesn't seem to have grown up, what with the bottle-pissing); you shouldn't be passive-aggressively trying to teach him lessons. If you're anal-retentively clean (as I am), chances are in any relationship you will have to 1) figure out stuff to let go, 2) figure out stuff you absolutely need him to do, and tell him, and 3, a big one) figure out stuff it's easier to do yourself (and don't resent it).
I did some latex work for special effects stage makeup, and that shit takes hours and hours to dry. In a moist, warm body cavity, she would have to be propped upside down for 24-48 hours to get a solid mould.
So yeah, might be a fun fantasy, but it's connection with reality is even less solid than Sarah Palin's grasp of science.
Perhaps that's me; I was like her boyfriend in some ways (not all the specifics, but having trouble getting hard/coming) for a long time, but I loved eating pussy because I could be good at it anyway.
my advice to her is this. go down to the pharmacy, buy some adult diapers I recommend Attends (yah another piss related fetish of mine) and bring them home.
throw out the sprite bottle. and put a diaper on his pillow. When he goes to bed and asks 'WTF!!" say "Frankly I would rather you piss in a diaper than in a fucking bottle, you pig. At least then YOU are the only one who deals with the aftermath and not me. So either act like an adult or dress like a baby. you pick!!"
So consult with some of your medical help for possibilities and see if the GF can either ask questions or suggest he visit a dr.
As for doggie style, that can be FUN, though in this case it's worth checking out the other angles.
I'm on the east coast dan, ever make out this way? Wouldn't mind a birthday spanking from you.. :)
My habit blew up in a big way, though when the group of us we're moving out. One of the gals came up to my room to help me carry some stuff down, and saw the closet, chock-full of piss-filled containers. We never spoke about it, but I suspect she was rather disgusted.
(Tip: Never pee in a wax to-go cup--like the kind from McDonald's, BK, etc., etc.--piss eats right through 'em.)
A custom-made dildo sounds like an excellent idea!
I don't know how unusual my smallness is, but a VCAD mold might not be the bad investment opportunity Dan seems to think.
But to be fair, I'd really rather encounter a CLOSED UP bottle of pee than when people try and leave their pee sitting in the toilet "because it saves water." Ugh, so many things wrong with that: OK, what if I drop something of mine in the toilet (like a toothbrush?!)? And the smell? And the fact that it leaves rings in the toilet? And you know what, it DOESN'T save water I'm going to flush it if I'm the next person to use it because (here's where it gets graphically specific) I don't want anyone else's pee splashing back up onto my butt when I sit down to perform any acts of the bathroom symphony.
For a moment lets overlook the fact that your boyfriend is pissing into a plastic bottle while you're in the room, which by all means is a good enough reason to run and never turn back. For whatever reason your BF wants or needs to urinate in a plastic bottle in the middle of the night (maybe he doesn't wake up in time to get to the bathroom before wetting himself).
The reason you need to dump him is that he thinks it is acceptable to have a bottle of urine in his bedroom. If I pissed in a bottle, I'd be damn certain to make sure my wife never, ever found it. I wouldn't even think about it in her presence, just in case she asked me what I was thinking about.
Your BF doesn't seem to have a problem with having bottles of piss lying around, and obviously doesn't understand societal norms. And why when the bottle got full, did he not immediately dispose of it? Because he didn't care or thought that it was somehow acceptable. Think of what other foul habits he has, that you just haven't discovered yet.
While You maybe able to get him to use a coaster or laundry basket, this is something you will never be able to change.
Needless to say I would never pee in a bottle or bucket, and would never be with someone who did. I do pee in the shower though, and have often peed in the backyard when the bathroom is occupado.
I also can't have a cat because I am so sensitive to the pee smell - a litter box just repulses me.
But thanks, Dan, for all the gross and shocking letters after two weeks of ultimate boredom from people who paid to get their letters in your column, but couldn't be bothered to actually think of a good reason WHY they wanted their letters in your column.
Also, I often pee in the shower while taking a shower with my wife in such as way so she doesn't notice.