Columns Mar 12, 2014 at 4:00 am

Faithful

Comments

107
@Auntie Griz: I have had 3 friends who've had ablations done. All three had no complications, felt fine afterward. In one case, the procedure didn't really work, in that it didn't stop or even too significantly reduce the amount of bleeding she experiences, but she had it done again and it worked as expected. Anesthesia is very easy now; gone are the days of breathing in heavy gas, which means you wake up more easily, right afterward, without the old headaches and other side effects.

I'm sure you'll be fine, but I guess some nervousness is always a part of any lead-up to an invasive procedure.

Write and let us know that you sailed though with aplomb.
And then write again after what would have been a hellish period that isn't.

108
Auntie grizelda -- Sending you good wishes that the whole process goes smoothly and yields the results you want!
109
@73 nocutename
'I have never been with a man who treats this particular act as an especially degrading one. Instead, men whom I've been with often seem impressed/amazed/grateful that I'll "let them" come on my face. '

Therein lies the difference. They don't view it as degradation, so you don't either. But if you look at porn (yes Mainstream Porn), male porn actors use facials to humiliate and defile the women. It's not a loving or giving action; it's aggressive and dehumanizing.

What's the difference from coming on a woman's face vs. her tits or stomach? I'm not sure how to articulate it. But a man slapping a woman in the face is definitely a humiliation (Calm down! Shut up!). If you want to humiliate someone, you slap them in the face not the stomach.
111
Good luck, Ms Grizelda.
112
@albeit: Therein lies the difference. They don't view it as degradation

Right. And if you have the misfortune of fucking a guy who wants to see you degraded - not just for play; he really wants to make you feel like a worthless piece of shit - then the entire act of fucking him is degrading, whether or not he comes on your face.
113
@107 nocutename, @108 EricaP and @111 vennominon;
Thanks so much!! I'm pretty sure it will work out fine, too,
but right now I've gotta get the REDRUM out of my head!
Tony---I'm scared!! No more of The Shining for me!

I am going to watch Thelma & Louise again tonight.
Gettin' wild and loose with Brad --even if only in my
baddest girl fantasies-- ought to chase SOME demons
away.
114
@110.

Really dude? Do you have Aspergers? Or are you on the spectrum? Do you watch porn with the sound off?

Watching these male porn actors: the words, their tone, facial expressions, body language. Pretty obvious to me that their facials are not a loving and giving act.
116
Being aggressive in a sexual manner during a consensual encounter between adults doesn't automatically translate the way normal aggressive behavior would. Plus porn is kind of a weird medium for analyzing the male perspective on women and sex since the goal of porn is to be as visually stimulating as possible, not necessarily representative of everyday sex. And the only crimes porn seems to commit systematically are bad dialogue and backstories.
117
Even if receiving facial is "degrading", what if I get off on being degraded? Who the fuck are you to tell me my way of receiving pleasure are not valid or important?
118
Maybe it is not obvious that she is promoting the idea "women service men" by asking some randoms to squirt her in the face with their body fluids for everyone's amusement. Maybe it's a little subtle.

But to be equal or feminist about this, the bf should also invite just as many women to squirt in his face. If he can't make a girl squirt, pee is more STI sterile and easier on the eyes and nose than guy come, and could substitute. Or he could ask anyway and learn.

We're also taught not to put toes in our mouths, even though it's harmless with clean people. I would hold the same belief if she wanted to be feminist about group toe sucking. He'd need to offer that same opportunity to as many women to be gender equal.

And if that's off the table for some reason, if the skewed power dynamic is part of the attraction etc, then they could be socially responsible feminists by screening their extras to only accept STI clean feminists.

    Please wait...

    Comments are closed.

    Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.


    Add a comment
    Preview

    By posting this comment, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use.