Lava and sb53-
Here are couple of articles re cross dressing/gender/etc. that make me regret I was born too early:

slow pace and sincere:
http://www.blogher.com/10-best-and-worst…

An accurate description, though a bit over hyped for commercial reasons:
http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/201…

A fun fantasy video someone put together few years ago. Some viewers seem to think it’s true:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5Jf3BVi…

Let me know if you‘re interested in more articles and videos

vennominon: I hope all is better your way.
sb53: Sorry about your cat! I love kitties, too. I hope you found her / him, that he / she is okay, and that you and your loved ones are not roasting in the Midwest. We have wildfires here--smoke coming down from British Columbia, Canada, and on the Olympic Peninsula--not pretty when the Olympic National Rainforest is ablaze.
@108 LavaGirl: WOW--how about the USA Women's World Cup Champions winning 5-2? Japan is tough to beat! First US championship since 1991.

Hunter, where's your weekly SL Wrap Up?

@101 LavaGirl: I keep praying for All the Powers of Heaven to permanently wipe out the profit-lusting GOP, their lawyers, lobbyists, and Tea Party lackeys in one last effort to save the Earth.

I support the Auntie Initiative!

Ms Grizelda - As I have not really spoken to anybody for three days, I've probably not done any harm.

Don't you think your scenario would just turn into Animal Farm? How long would it take for most prominent Democrats to begin lusting after profit?

No review Hunter?
What to say? Got past @100.. Pleasing Venn.. Mostly they chatted. Was a perfect time for troubled souls to throw a few problems out, yet no one took the opportunity. Fearful no doubt what they'd say. And USA won the World Cup in Soccer. Three Cheers.

Ms Lava - Living under the threat of being deemed insufficiently profitable can make one antsy.

As for the letter, I still feel so probably sad for BF; LW has more than a foot and a half out the door. But I'm not sure how best to wish BF good luck without handing LW a slightly tainted Yahtzee. Maybe hope that BF's had the same process of discovery only of a different kink?

Who knows Venn. These boys have probably already moved into or on from.
I admire a certain quality that gay men seem to have, two men together.

My second son was 31 yrs old today. The Family all together sans
father( though the yogurt I got for the curry, was made in the State he now resides in. Good symbol I thought. Nourishing food).. There were no fights. Three of the four male offspring needed to have physical tussles, they stopped before the aggro kicked in.
Most of our family get togethers get a little rowdy , and the aggro kicks in. Tonight, it was aggro free. Yeah.

@68: ...is Savagecode for, "You all know what I think about people who claim they'd take a bullet for someone but can't get over a single act of infidelity."

You know, I take issue with this. Being willing to take a (figurative) bullet for the relationship you thought you were in doesn't have anything to do with wanting to stay in the different relationship you just found out you were actually in.

Right now, I like my boss. If he asks a favor, I'm probably willing to oblige. If I found out that he's been planning to fire me? Different story. It's okay to change your mind when you get new information; we can't all be George W. Bush.

Eudaemonic @121 Who are you taking issue with? Mr. Venn was putting words in Dan's mouth, and I don't think anyone would own those words. Certainly not me.

But I will say that if a relationship has been happy for years or decades, to say that it is now completely different because you found out your partner cheated one time, and to make the analogy between the cheater and a boss deciding to fire someone -- that's a stretch. People make mistakes and if you throw someone away like garbage over a one-time screw-up, then I just hope you can face being held to the same high standard.

I forgive screw-ups, because I want to be forgiven when I screw up, even if my kind of screw-up isn't infidelity but blabbing secrets or snooping or sulking or whatever.

Of course that doesn't mean anyone should stay in a relationship if they want out. But I think people should remember the years of happiness and balance that against their immediate sense of outrage, when deciding if they want out.

EricaP, it seemed he was alluding to a position that had become Conventional Wisdom here, and I don't think it's true.

My point was that if you think you have a certain kind of relationship, and then you find out you were wrong, your feelings about the kind of relationship you thought you had aren't binding on the feelings you're allowed to have about the relationship you now know you have.

If my wife gets killed by the T-1000 and it impersonates her for a while, I'm not obligated to love the robot. No matter how much I loved my wife, and no matter how often I said "I love you" to the robot while it was impersonating my wife. Fraud voids contracts.

I don't have a problem with people choosing to enter a new contract after the old one has been voided, but any agreement you made based on believing the other person's deception is no longer binding once you're no longer deceived.

TL, DR: You don't have to stay married to a CPOS, and how you felt when you thought they weren't a CPOS isn't a binding obligation on you once you learn the truth.

Want to buy a car? If you agree, but then--after finding out that I don't actually have the car I'm selling--you no longer want to send me the money, that doesn't make you a hypocrite. If you sign a contract with a company that turns out not to exist, you're not bound to honor the contract.

Even if your relationship didn't change in any way at all, your thoughts on it are allowed to change, so your emphasis on words like "binding " and "obligated" is just odd.

Also, do you really think it's useful to introduce the T-1000 analogy, as if a spouse who has a one night stand is no longer human and may go around blithely killing people?

"Even if your relationship didn't change in any way at all, your thoughts on it are allowed to change..."

This, exactly, and nothing more. Your thoughts are allowed to change. Especially if you find out new information. Especially if what you find out is that your earlier thoughts were based on assumptions that aren't true.

The T-1000 analogy isn't about blithely killing people, it's about promises to a person. If you make a promise to a person, and then find out that they aren't who you thought they were, we shouldn't shame you for not wanting to keep the promise.

If I send you a text saying "Will you marry me?" and you mistakenly think the text is from someone you do want to marry, you're not obligated to marry me even if you (thinking I was him) answered "yes." Similarly, we shouldn't all crap on you if you don't go through with marrying me.

Venn seems to be referring to the belief that you aren't allowed to change your mind on receiving new information about the state of your relationship. That belief seems silly.

"We do know that, "If you can find it in your heart to forgive him..." is Savagecode for, "You all know what I think about people who claim they'd take a bullet for someone but can't get over a single act of infidelity."

>> If you make a promise to a person, and then find out that they aren't who you thought they were, we shouldn't shame you for not wanting to keep the promise.>>

Do you think we should shame people who break their promise to stay in a relationship, if they just change their mind, and the other person hasn't changed or screwed up at all?

I guess I think the promise "till death do us part" really means a promise not to leave without taking a long, serious look at the relationship as a whole. If one does that, and wants to leave, then leave. No shame in doing that, if you treat the person decently on the way out.

"Do you think we should shame people who break their promise to stay in a relationship, if they just change their mind, and the other person hasn't changed or screwed up at all?"

Yes, some--more than none, but less than a lot. Bad decision-making should be stigmatized, at least a little; there's a reason why we as a society want people to have the option to voluntarily enter agreements which they'll suffer consequences for breaking. If there's no enforcement of contracts, then there are no contracts, and then there are a lot of pretty nice things we can't have.

"- you can round yourself back down to straight."

Yeah, but you can't unsuck those dicks can you?