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800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
And just so you know, I was always more of a Beatles fan too, John in particular. But he was also a bastard with his women.
Broardway tunes, really? I didn't get back that far.
Oh, but you're not breaking anything to me, Lava, gay men too are often bastards to their men. Don't idealize us, we don't deserve it.
To the NGAA conversation: there is so much more to that letter than is stated, I would guess. He says that they were only ever friends. He says he wants a deeper relationship with her ... why would that blow their marriages apart? Men and women can be friends. Even best friends who comfort and rely on each other. He doesn't say anything about sex or an affair, does he?
I honestly don't know what Dan advised (not a musical theater fan) but why not just tell her, "I need you. You're important to me. Can we have more involvement in each other's lives?" That isn't against the rules of hetero marriage.
Hand jobs haven't been a serious part of my sex life since I was in my teens, and it's been years since I've asked for one. If I was forced to choose just one sexual activity to enjoy for the rest of my life, I'd have to go with the blow job. The sight and sensations of being deep inside her mouth while she swishes her tongue all around my cock is how I know that the universe is fundamentally a good place.
So...I take it you're not married then?
I disagree.
Sometimes the best advice doesn't fit the standard advice column format. When faced with such a profound, potentially life-altering dilemma of the heart such as NGAA's, anyone who'd presume to tell him what to do isn't worth listening to. I think it's wise to turn it over to the arts and let NGAA sort out his life's narrative. It's his life, after all.
And in the arts, people do gravitate to their genres. Dan's got a thing for Broadway Musicals, which cover this ground well. Venn would also be right to recommend the Victorian melodramas.
I'd tell him to watch anything starring Katharine Hepburn, Marlene Dietrich, or Bette Davis (All About Eve is mandatory (although not directly relevant)).
If she leans in? Follow your heart, bro!
It wasn't even subtext. They weren't close. He felt he "missed out" on some opportunity that never existed because he had troubles. She wasn't interested in him, but he's been burning for her ever since. This isn't healthy, sounds like his troubles at the time followed him into his "happy" marriage.
He doesn't want a friend. He wants something more self-destructive, and STILL doesn't give a shit abut what his not-even-friend wants. Didn't at the time, not about to start now, he can just write the dialogue for her and imagine her jumping into his arms after so many years.
"OH LOOK AT HOW YOU'VE CHANGED. SO SORRY I ACTED HURT WHEN YOU WERE A JERK TO ME, ALL THESE YEARS AGO AND STOPPED WANTING TO INTERACT WITH YOU. ALL I'VE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT IS YOU, YOU, YOU!"
Old crushes are old crushes. This is manchildery, though.
"she was into me but I had some shit to work through... our friendship changed my life. ... I think about her often, want to share things about my life with her, find myself wanting to rely on her when things are tough. I don't know what to do with it. ..."
He doesn't say anything about an affair. His actual words seem to say that he wants to share things about his life and rely on her when things are tough. He doesn't say, "I dream of having an affair with her." Maaaaaaaaaybe what he really wants is her friendship.
A then-Yugoslavian director Dusan Mekeviev used it as a theme song in his 1980 masterpiece "Montenegro." Our friends in Australia may recall that few years later he made "The Coca Cola Kid."
HJ’s are often associated with early stages of sexual experiences, the first under the belt adventure that is nothing but a waste of time later in life.
For me manual stimulation can be a lot of fun on many levels. It enables both HP (Handy Person) and PHD (Person being HandeD) to talk, discuss what works, explore fantasies, and more.
I find it hard to come when not in control of the motion, which in a way this is what hj’s are all about. This can make them very positively challenging, as they require communication and synchronization.
If ever materializes Part 2 will deal with specifics.
Most of all, if he just wanted a friend, there would be no source of angst for him, no reason to write to an advice columnist.
Here is his letter again, so you can refresh your memory. He is romantically obsessed with this woman:
"I'm a hetero guy in need of advice. Back in college, I met this girl. Suffice it to say she was into me but I had some shit to work through. So we ended up being a missed connection, romantically. Despite that, we still became fast friends. I'm less awkward now, in large part because our friendship changed my life. We each married other people, and everything worked out great. Except I still love her. I think about her often, want to share things about my life with her, find myself wanting to rely on her when things are tough. I don't know what to do with it. On one hand, she means an awful lot to me—she is the kind of friend that comes along once in a lifetime—and I know that I mean a lot to her. So this is a relationship worth protecting, even as asymmetrical as it is. On the other hand, these feelings are starting to seem kind of pathetic. We are barely part of each other's lives anymore—do I even have a right to feel the way I do? I see three options, each of which is shit. (1) Keep my feelings to myself and endure/enjoy a painful but deeply meaningful friendship. (2) Disappear, either abruptly or gradually, with no explanation. Or (3) damn the torpedoes and bare my soul, which might painfully explode the relationship. After years of option 1, I am strongly leaning toward option 3—just blowing shit wide open and dealing with whatever happens."
There is literally nothing in that letter that doesn't suggest he wants far more from her than what most of us mean when we say "friendship."
Sorry Sean, rubbing an arm is very different to rubbing cock, the latter being wrinkly and hard to handle comfortably when dry.
Maybe LW, throw out this generic lube stuff and opt for coconut oil. See if he enjoys it any better.
Otherwise. Rub a dry cock as best you can.
The excuse that oil is messy seems a fob, he comes right?
That is messy.
I want to take a trip to explore Germany and Austria to further enjoy two deep passions of mine: music and Volkswagens. I am trying to save up. Hopefully one day.
NZ has beautiful snow peaks and black sand beaches. It is the wildest place, and it's just next door to us, and it's like, we get a mini Europe to drop over too.
Love you NZ. Beating you in the cricket, I think. Fraid that is just too boring.
I'd say my dad identified with the father, both of them no longer the only man in their daughters lives.
I'm wondering if he was also sending me, (I was into my adolescents, no boys yet that I noticed, my eldest sister was causing problems, for him), the message to marry a Jewish man and not a Catholic one. Or I just saw something to get me the hell out of town/ away from my mother.
Trouble is I picked a fucked Jewish man, with great creative talent in whatever he touched. Sometimes I do wonder if I just wanted his DNA.
It might not be the right time
I might not be the right one
But there's something about us, I want to say
'Cause there's something between us anyway
I might not be the right one
It might not be the right time
But there's something about us I've got to do
Some kind of secret I will share with you
I need you more than anything in my life
I want you more than anything in my life
I'll miss you more than anyone in my life
I love you more than anyone in my life
NST - It just seems like conversation for him.
Maybe it is. People run interesting ideas and stories past each other in conversation. If you're uncomfortable or bored with the topics that others enjoy, spend less time with them.
SLOW - I agree that changes don't appear from nowhere. And he sounds a little slow advising you to "do the same thing as always" except without lube. Say wah? I also agree that asking him to show you how he touches himself is a great way to learn what he likes... but before doing that... when he fingers you off, lubed or unlubed, is he up to par, do you consider him professional level as well? High standards (those handjobs were great, but I need them to be even better) can cause resentment if they are one-way.
Just a PS. I was meaning the skin on a cock is not the same skin as is on the arm and because of the cock's magical powers, it needs skin to assist, it wrinkles up. Arm skin only does this way at the end of life. It's body oils make it easier to rub than an erect cock, the skin of which, imo, doesn't generate a lot of surface skin oil.
I can understand mens' desire to feel it without oil, sometimes just a few drops is all you need. Then the sensation of rawness is sort of maintained.
+ 1
Thanks for reassuring me I'm me the only one who thinks this way.
Have you seen any other movies he made?
Lava @ 123
"How more specific could you get? Please no how to photos."
I have only been philosophical so far, but I may go into specifics as I feel some areas have been overlooked. For example, no one mentioned cupping the balls and squeezing them gently to start the arousal process and beyond.
For way too many people hj's are no more then an industrial strength choke hold, along with continuos fast movement till the bitter end.
Rest assured, I never intended to include pictures. I still think that videos may be useful though.
The same for women, everyone thinks that placing fingers on a pussy, for those who enjoy that sort of thing, really, how hard can it be? A light and sensitive touch.. Oh no. So many men have no idea re light and sensitive. Crash bang thru the tulips, mostly.
The man who knows what treasure he's found, and he acts accordingly, will be nice to be with.
Ricardo- "Thanks for reassuring me I'm me the only one"- lost in draftation. "I'm not the only one."
Yours,
Tirque Honolulu
How male artists talk of love, drugs etc.. Grabs my attention. Chrissy Amphlett from the Australian group, The Divinys, only woman whose songs could fascinate me. I loved the girls, Carol King
and them all. Maybe women's love songs just reflect what I already know.
Amazing images she took. Amazing Artist she was.
Hope you don’t mind, but I think one very important aspect of hj- as well as bj and some piv action- that has been totally ignored here is testicle play. Cupping gently and playfully now and then or more before, during, and even after. May also be combined with simulated-or-not control games, whispering sexy stuff in phd’s ear, and so much more.
Testicle play may also come handy in case “one's arm gets tired from lots of jacking.”
HJ is so much more than nothing but fast moving industrial-strength grip till the bitter end.
Additional details may be available upon request.
The difficulty is that wording becomes extremely difficult when one is close to orgasm! So use those words first.
HP- Handy Person
PHD- Person being HandeD
So I would love more tips, yes, but mostly, I wish the individual man on the receiving end would let me know as much in advance as possible and explicitly exactly what he likes, what he hates, what he's curious about, what he needs, etc. and then be generous with the verbal and non-verbal feedback throughout.
I've always wanted to be able to give a great hand job covertly, in a public place like a movie theater, or under the dinner table.
One of my partners, currently, orgasms only from intercourse. What I wouldn't give for a bit of variety, if only occasionally. I've given up on the idea of blowjobs (he has never come that way), but figure handjobs are possible since he can clearly get off using his own hand. Sadly, he finds handjobs "boring" because he can do that on his own, and my attempts only make him hornier so he wants to jump on me. I've tried to tell him it's not boring for me!
listen to the entirety of Jesus Christ, Superstar . . . but not the original broadway cast recording: you have to listen to the movie version, starring Ted Neely as Jesus!
CMD - if you're still reading, and for what it's worth, I do pay attention to balls during a blow job. I usually stroke or cup them with my hand when I've got my mouth on the shaft and head. I will occasionally switch hand and mouth so that I can lick and suck the balls while stroking the shaft and head with my hand. Sometimes I lick all the way from the back side of the balls to the tip of the head, and back down again. I do most of these things because my sweetie responds to them by arching his body, stiffening up, quick in-breathing, etc.