Dear Semi-Erect Penis at Denny Blaine: I just ate a Bakery Nouveau twice-baked chocolate-almond croissant, but I really want to swim out to that buoy. Do I need to wait half an hour?

—Wanda, Kirkland

Nah, that's an old wives' tale. You're good.


Dear Semi-Erect Penis at Denny Blaine: I'm having the hardest time peeling this hard-boiled egg. Any tips?

—Scout, Burien

Get better at boiling those bad boys. You're going to want to put the eggs in a pan of water, bring it to a boil, let 'em cook for one minute, turn off the heat, and cover them for 10 minutes. Then submerge the eggs in ice water. Trust me. Those eggs will open sesame.


Dear Semi-Erect Penis at Denny Blaine: Can you explain hyphens to me? Like, why is it "Semi-Erect" in your column's name, instead of "Semi Erect" or "Semierect"?

Joelle, Seward Park

Great question, Joelle. And thanks for plugging my column. It's because both "semi" and "erect" are part of the single adjective that's modifying the noun "penis," so they have to be linked together, as if they were one word. It's called a compound modifier. I love compound modifiers.


Do you have a question for the semi-erect penis at Denny Blaine? Send it to semierectpenisatdennyblaine@thestranger.com and it may be answered in a future column.