In our defense, it is men-o-pause, which to me sounds like women finally getting a well deserved break from men and our constant mansplaining.

Wait, no more mansplaining? OMG, what are we gonna do now, mansplaining was OUR thing!

Hey, if we can't laugh at ourselves it's all over folks...

@1... you said "If a woman no longer feels the need or desire for sex that's a very important and personal decision she has every right to make. Problem is, in a marriage, does she have the right to make that very important and personal decision for someone eles?"
The editor's point was that you took the writer's issue, a decrease interested in sex, and made it about the man's not gittin iny. Which is how it sounds to me. I think she represented it just fine, with a tiny bit of sarcasm.

I think women are entitled to their own opinions and are welcome to voice them, but apparently men are not treated likewise on a "woman's issue".

oh God, now they are back to double down on their stupid "input". They can't help it.

So, two guys?

I mean, I am aware of the ability of the bloggers here to whine hyperbolically about literally anything, but this seems a stretch even for you.

The thing is that "The Stranger" as well as the rest of the media never really talk about men at all with the exception of chastisement, disparagement, and ridicule. Men need to be reminded that freedom of the press/speech allows this and that they should just get over it.

@7: Pretty sure Dan was including comments on Facebook as well. ::Checks Dan's post:: Yup. he was including the men who responded on Facebook as well, so more than two.

Dear The Stranger,
If you really care about your comments being an internet cesspit, you could invest in a less feeble moderation setup.

Run bad comment section, get bad comments.

@8: Holy crap! I sure hope you used oven mitts when you got that hot take out of the oven punkin.

@9: Fair enough, so like five or six dudes. Resume circlejerk.

@8 - "as well as the rest of the media "
[citation needed]

Otherwise, I back Lissa's comment hoping you used oven mitts.

@4 - Just lie back and think of England, it will all be over in about a minute, probably less.

@5 - I'd sit down and explain to YOU why what you just said ignores the entitlement of men ^providing unsolicited advice^ (among other things) on an issue ^they cannot possibly understand^ (French: connaitre - to know, to have experienced; visceral knowledge. As opposed to: savoir - to know intellectually, before having experienced, "book-smart") --- but I'm busy, and my coffee is getting cold.

Well actually....

Why would you (male and/or hubbie) insist on having sex with another (female and/or wifey) who clearly does not want to have to sex with you? When did that become a turn on? "She hates my guts! She really does not want me touching her! This is so hot!"
If it is THAT BAD, sex-workers will gladly pretend to enjoy it no complaints, for their agreed fees.

@17:

Presumably because they got this weird idea somewhere that their spouse OWES them sex; that it was part of the obligation they took on when they agreed to engage in the state of (also presumably) "holy" matrimony. They probably also insisted on retaining the word "obey" in their spouse's vows, you know, just to drive home the point of who owns whom in their relationship.

@13....I was referring to "the rest of the media" in general terms so no citation. I cannot recall ever hearing the general media ever asking men how they feel as men regarding any issue or topic.

Sigh. So we're now using menopause - which I'm in the throes of - as a reason to tear each other apart?

So wait, in Stranger world men can have babies, but can't have menopause and talk about it?

Consult your medical professional, whomsoever s/he might be.

Don't get advice from online, in general.

(sigh)

@19 - Oh, that's because men don't ^have^ feelings to report! They just have thoughts and actions and shouting. Haha!
(:'>r . ...cry... .. .
Seriously though: I see that stuff out there.

@20 - Well, for the lulz, yes.

@21 - Oh ^do^ tell us about yours! yes do! ...I'll just put these earplugs in, hang on...

@22 - That's helping. Yep. That was not at all even slightly the most obvious thing. nope.
(Wait, what if your doctor does remote consultations over the web..?)

Oh well, let's just hope they don't turn to starting wildfires once they can't get ahold of those testosterone laden guns anymore.

@2 Rick From Texas: I KNEW I liked you! Sending big hugs, positrons, and VW beeps. :)
@8, @19, @24 Eilabun: Along with Lissa, @11, and treacle @13, I sure hope you used oven mitts, hotpants. Methinks your man bun's on too tight.

Well, what can I say Auntie other than get used to it. I never did like man buns by the way.

@26 Eliabun: Like what...me getting used to your burning your fingers on hot takes? Better keep a good supply of oven mitts around, hotpants. lol

Well Auntie, just read about Odessa Texas; told you so.

@28: So you're trying to say that those of us women rejoicing about the end of our reproductive years are the cause of bloody, senseless mass shootings throughout the deeply Divided States? Spoken like a truly dateless troll, hotpants. EEEEHHHH! Wrong answer, but thanks for playing.
Take off that ridiculous MAGA cap before you seriously hurt yourself.

Has nothing to do with women; it's all about attitude toward men. So I repeat, get used to it. One othe other point, I'm not a MAGA person, and I am all for gun abolishment. I've always made it a point to avoid personal insults in the slog but now I must ask, did you have an unhappy or miserable childhood?

@30 Don't look at me, hotpants. I don't even own a gun and am not responsible for what happened in Odessa, Texas, however horrific the chain of events. Gun violence has run amok and is among what's destroying this once united country.
Get used to what? I find your idea of a new norm disquieting. Attitude towards men? If you're such an expert, tell me why so many men are criminally accountable for committing mass shootings. Female mass shooters rarely, if ever, make the news, let alone are incarcerated for such a heinous crime. I'm guessing that by your trolling and labeling, you had a miserable childhood. If so, please seek help. I hope everything works out.

Auntie, burning the midnight oil again I see. Gun violence has indeed run amok but if you think that by getting rid of guns will stop mass violence you are very mistaken. Unfortunately the country is no longer united but rather a separatist country filled with hatred; overpopulation is making it all the worse. As to why some many men are doing these mass shootings the answer is simple, men, especially juvenile boys as a group are simply neglected. When was the last time you read anything about men as a group, aside from chastisement and ridicule, in the Times and certainly not the Stranger. Do any of the colleges or universities offer courses on the study of men, paid for with government grants like women's study courses? All of this refects an overall hostile attitude and when that happens there will be those men who fall of the edge. That's what I mean by getting used to it. As to a miserable childhood, that was speculation on my part toward you. It seems that you are always rude, with vituperative name calling to people who write things you disagree with.

@32 - Myopic much? How come the USA is the only country where "neglected men" choose homicide as the solution to their inner angst? You'd think it would be more wide-spread, seeing as we're hardly the only nation with Women's Studies coursework. (Which obviously you've not even glanced at else you'd know that all other university courses are basically Men's Studies)

But hey, "get used to" mass bloodshed because certain male snowflakes (who happen to be well-armed, often racist or misogynist, & not infrequently Trump supporters) can't keep their shit together long enough to realize that externalizing their personal issues and blaming others --and then shooting those random, innocent others-- isn't maybe what a man should do. Naaah... don't hold them responsible, blame "society".

Only the neglected men who are pushed over the edge of sanity; a person kicked in the teeth so often might just tend to do that. All other university courses are not men's studies to where the curriculum is exclusively male. I would love to see a course of comparative studies of men and women and the law which would actually be a men's and women's course.

By the way, those men kicked in the teeth are kicked by other men but apparently this is acceptable. Remember, women and children first; the left over men can fight it out between themselves.

@34 - "Only the neglected men who are pushed over the edge of sanity", Quelle Qualificatíon!

"All other university courses are not men's studies to where the curriculum is exclusively male."
Historically, they have in fact been exactly that.

I think your "simple" reason for gun violence is not accurate. And I would suggest that income inequality is a far greater factor.

Agreed, about the income inequality. I would like to ask you, Mr. Treacle, in all seriousness, why do you think that all of these mass shooters are male.

@36 - Thank you for your question. I think each case is different, but some common themes stand out:
-- Most (western, caucasian, American) men are not taught how to adequately own & process their emotions; - they are encouraged to view their feelings as ^caused^ by other people; - they are encouraged to channel other feelings into anger & rage, which is then expressed physically.

-- More culturally, the "traditional" male role as "breadwinner" has been systematically undermined by a (neoliberal) economy that now requires two incomes just to get by, as well as a deterioration of stable, full-time jobs. - This perceived loss of "role" is internalized as personal inadequacy, & the structural dynamics causing it are not recognized.

-- American "Christian" thinking tells men that they must be hierarchically dominant over the rest of their family, including over their female partners (as opposed to family/marriage being an egalitarian partnership). - This "dominance" thinking extends outwards towards others & "valiadates" the use of violence to express 'dominance' & to 'keep them in line'. - It also isolates men emotionally, which leads to a sort of emotional-insanity. (Similar to how social isolation dismantles mental health).

-- As the greater society has moved towards a gradual (but still very far from) equalization of respect & power with groups "traditionally" denied these, white men's perception is that they are "losing" power. (This is inaccurate, due to their blinders of privilege; but hard to argue).

-- Fear has been used as a political organizing tool for several decades now, and fear is pumped out by various news organizations because it sells. The compounded effect is an entire society with a 'baseline-neurosis' constantly pushed into a mild-to-maximum fear state; which in turn reduces rational thinking and makes people very manipulable. (Classic brainwashing techniques).

Mix all these up with some high-powered weapons, and we have an untended pot of simmering frustrations on a stove with the heat being ever-so-slowly turned up.
Useful idiots in highly visible positions misdirecting the fearful-vulnerable into believing that "immigrants", "libs", (et cetera, etc., &c...) might be the source of frustration are vilely turning Americans against Americans for their own viciously selfish goals.

Some solutions:
- Reducing firearms won't solve all the problems, but it's a damn good start.
- Greater mental health & cultural awareness of how men can healthfully deal with their own emotions is important. Mental health care for EVERYONE is desirable. Hell, ^regular^ health-care for everyone is critical.
- An economy that doesn't treat humans as Maschine-fodder is essential as well.

All these are possible & achievable.

@37 -- :>D I hope your amused sarcasm isn't lost on "everyone". ;>)

@32 Eila with a bun: Your rabidly vituperative rants directed at me suggest that your Eila bun is on too tight. Loosen up, take a deep breath, have some wine, look at the stars, and consider what you have been steadily --and angrily--posting.
@37 blip: Thank you and bless you.
@38 treacle: For the WIN! Thank you and bless you. Amen.

"Most (western, caucasian, American) men are not taught how to adequately own & process their emotions; - they are encouraged to view their feelings as ^caused^ by other people; - they are encouraged to channel other feelings into anger & rage, which is then expressed physically."

Oh, so that's why the Southside of Chicago is so nice but Lincoln Park is a dangerous sh*thole. Thanks!

"American "Christian" thinking tells men that they must be hierarchically dominant over the rest of their family"

Unlike muslims, hindus or buddhists?

Since we got off topic ("Dudes! with Guns!"), here's a recent article in the Atlantic about Menopause, written by a woman, and quite fascinating!

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/10/the-secret-power-of-menopause/596662/

Christ on a Viagra bottle....

A few words, as a guy, to you, THOSE guys...

Guys-I mean you, you assholes who made this article all about you-why did you ALL have to be "that guy"? Couldn't you just leave this one alone?

Could you not accept that this article was about women and nobody other than women?

How bitter are you about your impending divorces?

And yes, she HAS the right to not have sex with you...not only during menopause, but during any point in your relationship where she doesn't freaking want to have sex. The fact that you guys don't get that is probably WHY you're facing impending divorces-or soon will be. And it's why none of you will get shared custody.

Stop BEING "that guy", guys.

If you really want to do something about the sex thing...do the bit that most men are trained NEVER to do...talk to her about it and talk about feelings...hers, AND yours. Make yourself available to go to counseling to work through this-probably compromises will be needed and you may find yourselves needing to address issues you didn't realize she was angry or stressed about, in and out of the realm of the bed. If she is saying she doesn't ever want to have sex with you again and she doesn't want to talk about it, you may then need to either negotiate some means by which she would accept you having sex outside the marriage, or be open to the possibility of leaving-after all, this may not be about menopause at all, it may be that she is simply no longer able or willing to stay in any sort of relationship with you. The one thing you don't get to do, however, is to simply demand sex as your liege right or something. The need for consent doesn't end after the vows are said.

@43 Or rent hookers.

@44: Ok, that is the fallback option, I supposed.