Johnny Sampson

One irate HUMP! attendee (whose anonymity we're going to protect) wrote in to The Stranger to fume: "Numerous individuals kept getting up to (presumably) use the restroom during the viewing, causing others in their row to stand up twice to allow them to pass while also blocking precious seconds of viewing of the short films for those sitting behind them. Seriously. It's an hour to an hour-and-a-half show. If you can't manage your bladder for that short period of time, maybe lay off the beverages until AFTER the show." The letter-writer chalked this up to a "lack of consideration for everyone." Wow. What a sad story. "Precious seconds" of amateur porn were blocked from your eyeballs? It's clearly time to institute a new rule. Listen up! From now on, if you have to go to the bathroom at HUMP!, please unzip where you are and pee on the people in the row below you. If you have to poo, please do it at your seat and then carry your dookie out of the theater with you. This should make HUMP! a better experience for everyone.