If there’s one sure bet in stand-up, it’s Patton Oswalt. He’s flexed his comedic skills in movies, TV, video games, books, and recordings—but onstage alone with a mic is where the real gold dwells. Whether tackling subjects mundane or profound, Oswalt constructs riveting, hilarious stories out of them with a keen eye for details, a good ear for vocal inflections, and unparalleled use of metaphors and similes. Rare for a comedian, his bits can withstand multiple hearings without losing their punch. Remember this one? “Food and beverage companies test out their new products in the Midwest… for side effects, let’s be honest. If the new venison-flavored Twizzlers are gonna make you grow a vagina behind your knee, it’s better to find out on an onion farmer than on Liv Tyler, isn’t it?” by Dave Segal