Canon's St. Valentine's Day Massacre
Besotted lovebirds, this one's not for you: Canon's annual Valentine's Day (featuring $4 shots of Fernet Branco, a bitter amaro for bitter hearts) is strictly singles only, and any PDA-exhibiting violators on the premises risk being "gunned down in cold blood" with one of 24 water pistols that will be distributed throughout the building. Don't say we didn't warn you.
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