Hi, I'm King County Executive Ron Sims, and I'd like to go on record and state that I regret nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Nulo. Nulo is Esperanto for zero. I can speak 42 different languages, and I've eaten ice cream on the moon with the president of Portugal!

I've never been to Portugal, but I do have a Twitter account. Did you know I'm on Twitter? I write about the environment, college football, and face- transplant surgery. I call my thoughts "Ronisms." TWEET TWEET!

I also don't regret riding my bike everywhere. It saves the environment, and I lost, like, 30 pounds. Well, I didn't lose it, exactly. I keep it in a jar. I named it Greg. Greg's never been to Portugal, either.

When I'm drivin' in my car, and that man comes on the radio, he's tellin' me more and more about some useless information that's supposed to fire my imagination. I like to use my imagination. That's why light rail is dumb. In my car, I can just fly wherever I want to go.

I wish so many crazy people didn't ride the bus. I like to ride the bus, but it smells like pee.

Has anybody seen my hat?