A motel in New Jersey.
marlon schaeffer
Comments
Please wait...
Comments are closed.
Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.
Editors' Picks
is a proud member of the
network
network
All contents © Noisy Creek, Inc.
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
Other people's relationship problems aren't that interesting unless a) you know them, or b) they are part of a well-written novel.
I wish the stranger would give me a platform to publicly vindicate myself to the people I feel wronged boy (hear that shitty ex-boyfriend?!?).
Seriously, how is this newsworthy, interesting, or of any merit whatsoever. If you're going to do a human-interest piece, pick something less lame and less shallow. And make the writing less hackneyed.
And it just so happens that sometimes shit like this is worth reading; particularly when the reader has gone through something remarkably similar.
also, where do i sign up to be his sugar momma?
The difference is that most of us just cringe when it comes up and try not to think of it, while Trent had the fortitude to write about it in excruciating detail. Props.
My band toured 3 times last year and I came home with NO money every time. I would have been overjoyed to come back with $40. Good thing I wasn't dating her. Newer bands NEVER make money from touring. Such a sad trend to see happening these days.
This was a poignant piece on many differing levels. Really brings up an interesting subject matter. I'm really glad Trent had the balls to write it and I'm really glad I read it.
You are my favorite kind of comment leavers. The ones who tell The Stranger what they should and shouldn't be publishing.
Point me to your paper and I'll see what stories you are printing, and I will judge.
No wait, my favorite comments are when anonymous commentors are complaining about other anonymous comments.
So you are my 2nd favorite kind of comment leaver.
That is all.
I don't think your experience proves that touring in a relationship is hard, I think it proves that you were dating a jealous, controlling asshole.
Don''t go anywhere, drummer boy. You are loved.
23 - "this is the epitome of what is wrong with men in the pacific northwest....pathetic, whiny, weak-willed, mama's boys. Get your shit together fellas. The women up here want MEN, not dribbling little girls."
You are exactly right.
&
26 - "This article was a total waste of time. Who fucking cares about your bed wetting whinny pig crap. LOSER! Your current girlfriend will probably leave you when she finds out that you are still bitter over your ex. I feel sorry for her. You need to grow a pair of balls. Now make a song about that."
Sorry it was such a waste of time for you. And thanks for thinking about my balls. AC/DC already wrote a balls song.
Best of luck with that jealous anger. Real men are capable of emotions beyond blind tantrums.
My question, is why the fuck is the plug for this show taking a backseat to a masturbatorily self-absorbed diatribe that some dude wrote about his fucked up relationship? why would the stranger give this childish rant a venue? is this rag here to plug rock and roll shows or to stroke the egos of manbabies who play drums in rock and roll shows? reading it made me embarrassed, like i was watching Mark Mcgrath whine about getting molested on reality TV. didn't anyone think it was weird to publish those emails?
That dude is not the scene. the rock and roll show tonight is the motherfucking scene! see you there, bitches.
Well, we don't go out with psycho hose-beasts.
There were so many warning signs going into this that you chose to ignore, I don't know where to begin.
And to those commenters who think this isn't worth reading - welcome to the Bitter Psychotic Bitch Club, psycho.
this story was less about the road, and more about his shitty girlfriend.
haha, take that shitty girlfriend!
23- your a cunt not a woman
& 29- fuck your "scene", now go hang out in it
Since the author is in a popular band, I'm sure there are plenty of people reading this who know the ex personally, and this absolutely comes off as little more than an attempt to embarrass and get revenge while gaining sympathy. Gross.
Uh, Trent does play in a hip hop act. Saturday Knights.
Too bad I know both you and this "ex". What you wrote is a bunch of one-sided lies, and selectively biased events, which serves of course to embarrass this girl and seek undeserved sympathy from those who don't know you.
I hope people are not that dumb.
Grow up. You are lucky that she didn't get a restraining order on you. And just by writing this out in public, it just shows, once again, that you are a controlling, vindictive psycho.
This is one heck of a way to ruin your band's reputation.
Guys need to realize that a girl can get another man whenever she wants. If she is not already cheating it is because SHE LIKES YOU not because she is being watched by you.
As for the cologne wearing douchebags that may be true but his feelings about them is really a reflection of his own insecurity. Being able to dress like a douchebag without feeling like an idiot is a sign of confidence and women love confidence. This is why the average douchebag walking around in belltown on a Friday night can get chicks. They may dress like idiots but in a weird backwards way it makes them attractive to women.
Again I feel for this guy as he is not sure of himself when he is the envy of so many people in Seattle. So many people would LOVE to go on tour and come back broke or even in the hole. They would pay just to do it and run themselves into debt. His just needs to accept his own life before any women will. Women are not what complete you, they are attracted to a person who is complete.
I feel sorry for this new girlfriend, (if she exists) knowing full well that you have even been trying to contact this ex- in the past year, probably behind her back. A guy in his late 30s, who doesn't even have his own place, someone who can't hold down a simple job to make rent, irresponsible, controlling, and a stalker?
How does TheStranger get this guy to write? I hope you guys are not paying him much for this diatribe.
And for what it's worth, almost all of us have some version of this story in our pasts. Glad you lived through it, too.
This girl lied her way through the entire relationship. She lied and had no conscience. She lied without regret. She worked him and played with his heart and his mind from day one.
I for one am glad to see her called out. I was friends with one of her previous exes and she cheated on him. And did the same thing to the guy before that.
Man Eater is right.
Whoever 'deslisla' is, you are full of shit. Who's the stalker? From your comments, you might want to look in the mirror. If there's a restraining order that needs to be filed, it doesn't need to be against him.
I'm glad you're here Trent. Keep it coming.
keep the beats flowing and your head out of your ass drummerboy.
Would you like to read an endless, pointless, entirely self-justifying diatribe about why I REALLY REALLY HATE my ex-girlfriend? And how I never did anything wrong EVER but she was a total lying bitch about it anyway? And, god, I bet she's really (finally!) gonna feel bad when she reads it.
You wouldn't? I can't imagine why not...
@ 50, Desisla: I'm late 30's and don't have my own place. Lost my job, and struggle for work to pay all my bills. I have a masters degree to pay for as well. Have you looked around? This author isn't not the only one in that boat. (No pun intended, too soon?) Or are you too busy being a bitch and playing your victim card to realize how off you are?
And to that: I've been regularly reading Trent's work in The Stranger for 2 years now and from what I can see online, he writes for multiple publications. I've seen and heard him play music in 4 or 5 separate projects and he's got mad skills on the kit. Regular work? Damn, I wish I was this busy.
He's a musician and a writer, doing it regularly and working hard. Fault him all you want, but you’re the one who ends up looking bad.
You stalk the comments then accuse someone of stalking. Your game is played and old. People like you need to realize other people aren't there for you to just walk over.
I had a very similar GF to this one. So this is personal.
But, taking it as read, it seems pretty obvious that Desisla is probably Trent's ex's current boyfriend, or a man in her life that she has worked up.
With a different title, or goal, the article could well have been about how certain women use guilt and paranoia to control the men in their lives. It is only a man in that state, whose emotions have been properly stoked, who can do pathetic things like write threatening emails or trash someone on a comment board with personal information, with that kind of abandon.
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that they're probably the ones who've never had an experience like this and think they're too good to ever get involved in one. Ugh. Grow up.
Yeah, it's kind of a trite story... but, you know, if it's so trite, why does it keep happening, all the time, everywhere? There's something valuable here, even if there is pettiness and self-pity.
Anyone who has been in a relationship with a liar can identify with this story.
Anyone who travels a lot for work and is away from their partner a lot can identify with this story.
The comments this girl is sending in and getting her friends to send in show her true colors. She sounds like she's continuing to accuse and she sounds like she needs to get back into therapy. I have a couple guy friends who are with women like this - that punish them by having other guys. The answer is simple, they need to break up with the women. But they don't! What's wrong with you men?
The author was stupid and lame for staying in it, yes. However, he would have been an 'abandoner' if he had cut out.
Mindfuck is a great word for this!
Interesting circumstances because of his behavior? What like not wanting to be stuck in a basement doing bong hits for the rest of his life?
I wish he were my drummer!
http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/zip/13…
What was the content of Trent's piece? He meets a girl, she treats him badly, she leaves him, he contemplates suicide, gets angry letters from the new bf (who is the most interesting character in this article with the funny messenger birds line), and meets a new girlfriend. Excuse me, but big fucking deal. Where was the actual story here?
Trent certainly wasn't a compelling character. His only flaws were being too naive, according to him. He described his ex in such stereotypical terms as "Sex in the City-fed" and the new boyfriend as "LA Model." There was no depth or unique quality to any of these characters, or interesting outcome/ realization of any kind on the part of the author.
Nothing interesting or out of the ordinary happened here. So what was the point? This felt like something I'd read on Live Journal, not in a newspaper.
Also this sounds AWEFULLY one sided... so you were a complete angel, never did anything wrong, it was ALLL her she was pure evil... wonder what her side is... like a VERYwise freind told me once.. there are THREE sides to evry story... his, hersa, and what actually happened.
And you seriously gave the letters to a lawyer?!?!...c'MON man up here. Tell him yer gonna do what ever the f**K ya want and he's gonna like it or lump it.
I guess the REAL patheticness is that I am responding to this.... man am I bored... but dude... stop the whining, grow some and write a good country song about it!!
Don't know how do this non anonimously so I'll sign right here... William Blaak
Tell us your life stories. Or do you have that courage?
I dunno as far as pathetic goes ...
Regarding comment stalking, he laid it all out for himself. Moorman started this article himself, with TheStranger's blessing for publication. If he is allowed to throw his diatribe out here, her friends (like me, and no, I am not the current bf, not even a boy) who know her are certainly going to call him out for what he is.
He started this. 2 years after the breakup. Doesn't the existence of this article show his character by itself? If I were the head person/manager at Head like a kite (and I believe Dave had more than enough managerial experience at MS) to fire this person. This is bad for branding and their reputation. Trent's skill is easily replaceable. It's not like he is the 1st violin at Seattle Symphony.
Real men move on. But some boys never grow up. Good luck to his current girlfriend.
Irony: that the greatest and final testament to how pathologically and embarrassingly fucked-up was this situation/relationship and ALL those involved was the publication of the "article" itself. One could only redeem himself by disavowing any involvement and moving on, but no, we get a feature-length article dripping with tales and signs of rampant personality disorder.
It's hard to wonder if Trent has a secret enemy at The Stranger who gave him the venue as "enough rope."
@29 LOL! the cute lepers... lost a member in the last year..." tee-hee! Get it? How often?
And, YES, I'm busted: I admit I'm pathetic enough to have read the whole article AND all the comments ranging from 1 to 13 on the Lame Scale. You know who you are.
That or you're not in the industry and don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
I don't really believe my last statement just like I don't believe this sorry excuse for a human being Trent. What a SOB. I hope the people you're writing about (including your current girlfriend") have more class than you. I guess you should watch behind your back when you're performing when you pull these kind of putrid stunts. I know he better never have a show in my town.
And that psycho bitch is still stalking him in the comments. Probably has a substance abuse problem.
By the way, Sweetie, if you are reading these comments, no one believes you because you can't fake what Trent wrote. Every word rings true to anyone who has dated someone like you.
This comment thread is a fucking work of art.
Personally, I have been on both sides of this situation & really, it sucks. I took it as lessons learned rather than a waste of time.
People like her obviously have issues that need to be talked about in counseling. Something that she needs to take care of before getting into one relationship after another.
As far as Trent goes. Good for you realizing that you deserve different. And good for you for not being the stereotypical touring boyfriend who will cheat on his girlfriend. Better yet, congratulations on what seems like a more healthier relationship.
Reading this, I felt old.
I think people get into these drama laden relationships because it feels exciting. A lot of people are sleepwalking and the emotional intensity of chaotic, unhealthy relationships wakes them up. They feel alive, at least at first. I don't know if you can say that relationships can be addictive the way substances are (although a lot of people do say this), but there are similarities. The addrenaline rushes that come with intense fights or being furious with someone and about to leave, can be drug-like, particularly when they're followed up by the redemption of making up which in turn is also drug-like.
The problem is that this stuff not only becomes a lot less exciting with repetition, but also aggravating and tedious. Still, one or both partners in the relationship might hang in there hoping to recover that original sense of excitement--just like that first high that addicts are always trying to recapture--or that eventual sense of relief when the drama stops. (Think meth or crack versus heroin or benzodiazepines.)
In reality, relationship are not all about excitement and peak experiences. People in long term relationships who say that they still feel that tingly, infatuation adrenaline high, every day when they think about their partners are full of shit. It doesn't work that way. If it did, none of us would accomplish anything else. We'd all be self-obsessed and kind of dumb. Body chemistry even changes at relationships progress. People produce hormones that cause a sense of comfort and well-being instead of excitement.
Add all of the above to a relationship between two people involved in careers that thrive on adulation and breed insecurity--both (careers) depend on other people's praise--and it's just worse (i.e. more intense drama, deeper pain and loss, more risk of rejection: your career could end/never get started if people don't like you).
Seems like a person could lose their sense of direction in life and get caught up in a lot of petty bullshit (e.g. the writer's girlfriend leading a bunch of men around by their dicks just to feel attractive and loved, the writer wasting money on a woman who will never be satisfied with him for reasons that have nothing to do with him).
To the writer: Good luck with all this. I hope you find your balance.
And I'd just love to see the response if a woman had written it about an ex-boyfriend.