Features Jul 15, 2010 at 4:00 am

(Even Though You Thought No One Was Watching)

Comments

1
I love this.
2
How lovely. Thanks guys.
3
Lovely creepy
4
man.. i wish there were pictures..
5
This makes me laugh, feel sad and funny all at the same time. Thanks.
6
the last one got to me
7
I saw you reading a bit more of this every time you sit on the toilet.
8
wow, this was awesome. i laughed, i cried...
10
There's a year's worth of post-modern comic strip right here.
11
fun
12
I saw you in the grass and weeds as I drove eastbound on SR-16 just past Snakelake Park. I asked my wife "Did you see that?" "No, what?" "I saw someone lying by the road back there." I pulled onto the breakdown lane and walked back to where you lay, very clearly dead. I ran back to the truck and asked my wife to find a phone and call the police. I came back and waited near you. Another driver pulled over to see what was happening and used his cellphone to call the cops. The police arrived just before my wife came back. They took us to the station and after asking surprisingly few questions released us. I saw the article in the News Tribune telling that you'd been murdered by your boyfriend during an argument and that he'd dumped you by the roadside. I'm sorry I couldn't bring myself to get any closer than four feet from you. I regret not covering you and not even shooing the flies from the side of your face. Please forgive me for feeling that you'd ruined a perfectly lovely Sunday morning. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name but I'll never forget your face.
13
I heard you tell your ten-year-old son that his mother is a fucking whore, a worthless piece of shit, and was on the phone waiting to talk to him.
14
Too many romanticized odes to homeless people. Do you think you're helping them?
15
This is just about the most beautiful thing I've ever seen written in The Stranger. Angel-headed hipsters, all.
16
I saw you away from our usual spots (yours behind the counter, mine across ordering yet another Americano). You are always lovely, but on this day, without your green smock and sensible shoes, with a new-to-me glow and a smile, you stole the wind from my lungs and the voice from my mouth.
17
KEEP THEM COMING!!!
18
I saw you sitting on the reserved front seat of the bus, staring at my enormous pregnant belly as I stood awkardly in front of you, pretending to look away and not even think about offering your seat BECAUSE THE BUS DRIVER DIDN'T ASK YOU TO.
19
wow...this just shows how white and boring Seattle really is. Next year, please head to New York City or someplace similar. These were so lame!!!
20
wow...this just proves how white and boring this city really is. These "saw yous" were so lame! Next year, please do the same from NYC or someplace similar.
21
I saw you in your apartment, from mine across the street. You were having a sexy photo shoot. We watched you for a few hours, until it got dark and you noticed we were peeping. I'm only sorry that we weren't more sneaky. Stay sexy, boys.
22
"Sweaty with summer sleep" is the best line to appear in the Stranger for years.
23
"Three Hostess Fruit Pies followed by a Vitaimn Water". Makes me wonder if it was me you saw or just some other bulimic chick who enjoys the same afternoon binge.
24
reporting by Gillian Anderson? THE Gillian Anderson?!

btw, i just loved this oh so much :)
25
I need to do more seeing in my life. @ 24 it's just some other Gillian Anderson.
26
i saw you some time in june walking down pine, near westlake. i was going south, you north. the street was crowded, it must have been around 4 pm. you turned to face a building, a very small corner, your back to the street and most everyone on the sidewalk. i felt my jaw dropping as i blinked my eyes, hard, several times and processed that you were pulling down your jeans and your tacky, cheap-looking thong. you shot a thick stream of piss about three feet behind you (i didn't even KNOW girls could do that). it seemed like you were trying to hit people. i saw the tampon string hanging out of your nasty ginger vag. i saw your asshole. i saw your face as you pulled your clothes back up, i couldn't tell if you were laughing or crying.
what the fuck.
27
Why is Harry Knowles in that illustration?
28
Fantastic. It's like each one was a tiny poem; a large collection of prose haikus.
29
What a wonderful incite into life as seen through different eyes. Could see this I say you becoming a web site, would be interesting to read from eyes around the country and the globe.
30
Sorry, Stranger, there's no Piecora's on the damned tundra. I'll stay right here, and who do you think was leading whom around?
31
I miss you, Seattle.
32
I wonder how many of these are true...
33
very nice. I do hope The Stranger will consider doing this for each season.
@22 - "sweaty with summer sleep" is a GREAT line.
34
nice, but i can't help wondering, what's "the businessman"?
35
I saw you, nicely dressed man walking across Pike on 5th at 9 am this morning, staring so long at my walking cast that you had to turn your head to keep staring as I limped past. I hope you enjoyed your stare, because I didn't.
36
I wonder which ones are Lindy's.
37
@32 Given some of the insane shit I've seen happen on these streets, I'd say they're all true.
38
Two of these could have been me.
39
Very lovely.
40
I feel like I can reliably identify Lindy and Charles (because they have the most distinctive voices) and then uncharitable because I identified all the fat-phobic ones as Dan.

On second thought, he doesn't take the bus, does he?
41
I saw you walking away from me disgusted because i wanted to drink and do drugs instead of come hang out with you. You were stabbed and killed later that night. That was 14 years ago today. I still miss you and I still blame myself for not being there.
42
I'm not sure what to make of this feature.

There's a sweetness in there, a genuine humanism, an interest in and concern for how humans relate to one another and understand themselves through doing so.

Unfortunately, there are also ample heaps of that "look how hardcore I am, living in the big bad city surrounded by the creeps and crazies" bullshit that Seattleites love to revel in. (You know that people in real cities don't do that, right?)
43
I saw you in front of Indochine in Tacoma, which was closed. You were swearing about it being closed, and you were mildly drunk ("I haven't gone to sleep since yesterday morning!") and handsome. Your two buddies came up, a little more drunk, scolding you for dropping f-bombs in front of me. You were wildly entertaining for the next several minutes, and when you asked me what kind of guitar I teach and I answered "fingerstyle," you lit up like you had just ingested a bunch of sparklers. "Fingerstyle?!? ROWR!!" And then you kissed me, a sad, newly-divorcing woman perhaps 20 years your senior, and wandered off to the Tipperary. I haven't stopped laughing! Thank you for that moment.
44
I saw you holding hands, both of you in your sixties or seventies, white haired, in motor powered wheel chairs, waiting as the Fred Meyer employee in front of you haplessly tried to move merchandise (baby clothes) back into the store through the only pair of automatic doors. Yes, this was real, it happened today, they don't read this, it was at the Fred Meyer of Renton Ave and Sunset Blvd. Love.
45
I saw you holding hands, both of you in your sixties or seventies, white haired, in motor powered wheel chairs, waiting as the Fred Meyer employee in front of you haplessly tried to move merchandise (baby clothes) back into the store through the only pair of automatic doors. Yes, this was real, it happened today, they don't read this, it was at the Fred Meyer of Renton Ave and Sunset Blvd. Love.
46
Here's my, "I saw you".

I saw you at the Marysville Walmart and in your cart you had two cases of chocolate slimfast and two cases of spam.
I looked at you as if to say, that won't help drop the 250lbs that you need to shed. You looked away in shame. I felt like a huge jerk and wanted to cry for you.
47
For your information, that is my WIFE, not my girlfriend.
48
I saw you in the morning walking fast by Pike Street with a starbucks in your hand, shaking, and thinking in recycling the entire world.
49
Haha, that was awesome.
50
I saw you stop for me as I walked across the street, patiently waiting for me as the asshole behind you nearly rear-ended you. I smiled at you until I realized you were talking on your cell phone at the same time you were trying to turn right.
51
I saw you in the ER, you were in the next bed. A dead drunk Indian with a nasty burn on your leg. You yelled a couple of times "stop the world, I want to get off" I was scared, I couldn't breath, I thought I was dying and you sang to me. You started with country songs but then your song changed. Even with you blowing 4 times the legal limit, the healer in you came out and sang to me. You did more to help than anything the ER doctor did. You are on the wrong world and I hope you find your way back home. Thank you my friend.
52
I saw you gaze wistfully out at the evening twilight from the deck of the ferry as it plied the waters of Puget Sound. The wind played gently in your hair while Mt. Rainier receded into a muted wash of colors. As you slowly moved the iced cappuccino to your ruby lips, it slipped from your slender, fine-boned fingers and landed with a clatter on the deck. A sad mime released a single, red balloon from his white-gloved hand and I cursed the existence of God.
53
I saw you on a hot summers day, In Cal Anderson Park, before the revitalization. You were wearing all black and hanging with your other homeless friends, all talking around a trash can, then you whipped out a huge dick and started peeing in the trash can while maintaining the conversation.
54
Hee, hee! These are a riot. Okay to send shout outs to the authors? Okay. Hey Gillian, I met you at a bus stop on Fulton. We were still teenagers, you were dating my neighbor, Len. You had a nose ring, one of the first I had ever seen, and a cold. I asked you about it because I had been thinking of getting a nose ring myself, but couldn't figure out how I would make it through allergy season.
55
@26 Pine runs East/West.
56
Fucking rad! MORE MORE MORE!!
57
I saw you, a very normal-looking middle-aged man walking down Jackson in Pioneer Square, deliberately go out of your way to spit on the passenger side window of a red Volkswagen Beetle. Had the owner of it wronged you somehow? Do you just hate Volkswagen Beetles? I thought about this for the remaining two blocks of my walk from the bus stop.

Oh, and that last one definitely got me too. Ahh, to be young again.
58
This is an epic poem.
59
There's something powerful about homeless peeing on the trash can. Maybe the smell or the song they sing while....
60
I saw you flying down 45th street, your long cock-rock hair flowing behind you, on a little girl's pink bicycle.
61
@12- I don't know if you'll read this, but if it helps at all, not touching her or going near her was the best thing you could have done, in terms of not disturbing a crime scene and potentially destroying or contaminating evidence. What you might see as squeamishness could help convict her murderer.
62
@52...

that was literally one of the funniest things i've read in a very long time. thank you for that. i needed it! emoticon smiley-face
63
@54 - If you're talking to the Gillian Anderson who spent her teen years with a nose ring waiting for buses on Fulton Street in the Gr8lakes region, I think you've got the wrong Gillian Anderson.

I myself spent my teen years waiting for buses on Fulton Street in the Gr8lakes region, though I didn't get the nose ring until my 20s.
64
I could read these all day; funny, sad, touching. I'd love to see a web site for this, or at least a weekly spot here.
65
This is worse than the sum of the entire soul-killing library of written-by-a-teenager comments on youtube and unctuous, self-absorbed reviews in Yelp combined. Right after writing this I'm going to find a hole, literally crawl into it - with my gun - and blow my self into nothingness because I am ashamed to be human.
66
Very interesting post. Thanks again.. Please Keep it Up!!
67
@41, was that Rigel?
68
@ The Stranger: This is a thing of beauty.

@ 41: My heart skipped a beat when I read this. You should forgive yourself. They would.
69
@63 Were we in our 20's? I don't know, the early 80's are such a blur. But it was definitely Fulton.

I loved Oly, it's so different from GR, but better? Meh, I don't know how you could compare the two. I think happiness is a choice wherever you are.
70
@TruthBoy I saw your white boring redundant posts and wanted to tell you to try reading it from NYC next time or someplace similar? oh and shut the fuck up
71
I saw you sucking on the restaurant whip cream dispenser until you turned blue and passed out. When the nitrous came around the living room again I saw you shake awake and reach a trembling hand for it again.
72
I always knew that Seattle was full of nacissistic, intolerant, superstars-in-their-own-mind types. And I'm not talking about the objects of voyeurism. I'm talking about the pathetic people who were inspired to do this. Maybe we should start spying on them, and see how we would describe their actions while being completely ignorant of context. People who do have preconceived notions tend to define even normal activities as "suspicious." Just ask any racial minority.
73
I always knew that Seattle was full of nacissistic, intolerant, superstars-in-their-own-mind types. And I'm not talking about the objects of this voyeurism. I'm talking about the perpetrators of this hokum. Maybe we should spy on them and see how their activities would be judged, out of context. People with preconceived notions tend to judge even "normal" activities as "suspicious." Ask any racial minority.
74
@72 & 73...because that was relevant enough to post twice evidently, get over yourself. Clearly you never judge anyone. Nice high horse.

75
This is lovely--little prose poems, in celebration and observation of intersecting moments.
76
I saw you doing your voyeur thing.
77
@69 - I didn't mean to say that *I* am Gillian Anderson. I'm a random person who grew up in Grand Rapids and now lives in Olympia, and I meant to say that I think you mistook The Stranger copy chief Gillian Anderson, who contributed to the above article, for the actress Gillian Anderson, who spent her teen years in Grand Rapids with a nose ring. Apologies for the confusion. And apologies if I misunderstood and you were indeed shouting out to the correct person.

I agree with you, happiness is a choice no matter where you live, but choosing it was infinitely more difficult in Grand Rapids. Or as I like to call it, The Place Where Fun Goes To Die. Problem is, I can't convince any of my family or friends to move out here.
78
I walked past you on the Ave and you said to the person on the other end of the phone line "Hello dear, where are your teeth?"
79
I walked past you on the Ave and you said to the person on the other end of the phone line "Hello dear, where are your teeth?"
80
@69, thanks for the clarification, you are correct, it is I who was confused. Nothing new, I assure you!

One thing I noticed when I moved back is how unhappy everyone seems to be here. I blame the religious conservatism (and the patriarchy of course!) My "happiness" comment stems from the fact that no matter where I have found myself in the world (Grand Rapids, Seattle, Atlanta, Toronto) there's always someone complaining that "there's nothing to do in this town."

Please, accept my friendly wave from GR and give my regards to my alma mater (TESC). I certainly do miss the climate there, political and weather. I'm sure you've noticed that no matter how much it rains there, at least you never have to shovel it!
81
Voyarism at its finest.
This person must masturbate constantly to just about everything.
82
Somebody tell Mudede that his arabesque is showing.
83
@52 LOL
84
I saw you sit up, reappearing in the passenger's seat of your boyfriends car on the 10 minute Vashon ferry ride as he reclined in the driver's seat. Affirming and exceeding my suspicions, you proceeded to climb on top of him and make love slowly and obviously, clothed, and provoking curious and wide eyed stares from the children in the car behind you.
85
I saw you sit up, reappearing in the passenger's seat of your boyfriends car on the 10 minute Vashon ferry ride as he reclined in the driver's seat. Affirming and exceeding my suspicions, you proceeded to climb on top of him and make love slowly and obviously, clothed, and provoking curious and wide eyed stares from the children in the car behind you.
86
I saw you looking at me with those big BLUE eyes in the rear view mirror - Mr. Bus Driver!
87
I finally saw you this morning; well, actually I saw your dog. The insanely loud one first thing in the morning left unattended while you get your coffee fix.
88
I saw you sitting on your folding canvas lawn-chair, on the sidewalk.. an old homeless man playing your trumpet. You weren't playing for money. You weren't playing for people... you were playing for yourself, and for the music. I wonder how long you've had that thing!

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