Well, he has the name, knows about where they live, what they look like and what car they drive. Should be a simple matter to administer some street justice.
And Cienna, is the poop still in your fridge or have you decided to destroy valuable evidence?
In any case, with red chili flakes and sunflower seeds, it is human. Now all that you need to do to get your Pulitzer is to talk the woman into giving a DNA sample to compare. I, for one, am excited to see where this mystery goes to next. Maybe it wasn't the woman's shit, but the man who reported it? What a twist that would be!
Now THIS is the greatest story ever told. My gawd, to think the Slog post of yore seeking turd-scientist recommendations helped tell this magnificent tale - I love it more than anything.
@4, the turd has been disposed of, but my scientist friend left me with a small dehydrated sample just in case the alleged shitter and her husband care to pursue the issue.
I worry that the poor woman has dementia, and that her husband has been struggling to hide it/cope with it.
I can't imagine any other possibility. Even the most obnoxious of us wouldn't shit on the street unless there were some deep underlying mental issues. We all know that everyone has cell phone cameras and one internet post is far reaching and never dies.
That poor man should have simply fessed up and apologized for his wife, and cleaned up. But imagine the horror of watching someone you love slowly lose everything that makes them 'THEM'.
You might not react soundly or graciously in that situation either.
godsnaughtymonkey (comment #15) gives an excellent explanation for the behavior. However, the couple was illegally parked, blocking the guys driveway. That's selfish behavior displayed before the turd enters the scene. I say give them a reason(s) to live with respect for others! STREET JUSTICE!!!!
Yeah. Two people robbed at gun point this summer on my block in the U-District. Another stabbed TO DEATH two blocks away. I don't give a shit about phantom shitters, Stranger. You usually do better with SPD. Let it go.
Since you are asking professionals to do professional work for a report in your newspaper, you should be professional and pay them their standard fees.
Funny to read, but more hints as to who the poopetrator was would be useful. And the illustration is great (but I thought she was driving and he was yelling from the passenger seat?).
I'm torn, because my first impulse is that this is quite possibly the most amazing and hilarious story I've seen in a while, but then there's something that screams: something isn't right.
I think #15 may have it, sounds like dementia and that's a very very sad thing.
Yeah, the shitty part of all this is that any aggressive, harassing, cracked out homeless person who does this gets an endless fountain of compassion and sympathy, but some probably mildly demented fine upstanding citizen gets stalked and publicly humiliated for doing the exact same thing. Shame on you.
One overlooked possibility is I.B.S. When a person has to go, it's either poop your pants or let 'er fly on the curb. Remember the postal worker caught on video taking a dump in a customer's yard a few months back? Same scenario. I think this particular case is different because of the interaction between the supposed pooper and the witness to the event. Did he glimpse her pulling her panties up? Does he remember her wiping her turd cutter, is he facinated with feces? Nothing adds up here. He says he went out and acually REMOVED the deposit from his parking area, was it still warm? I think this person either made the story up or he glimpsed a nicely rounded bottom and can't forget about it.
God Damn,you people are fucking inhuman... This is what happens when you LOCK TOILETS and don't let people in your bathrooms to shit without buying something...they are going to blow ass all over your front lawns more often because of your "SHITTY" business rules and policy's...fucking deal with it...AND WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T THIS GUY CHECK THE LICENSE PLATE ON THE CAR OR Describe to police WHAT THE CAR LOOKED LIKE OR THE PEOPLE LOOKED LIKE WITH A SKECH ARTIST??? God,you cops are FUCKING STUPID...
@30 - did you even read the story? The husband bought ice cream at the market across the street. And there was a bar across the street too. Strange how a lot of the commenters are making excuses for the woman claiming she has IBS or dementia. The article clearly states she was driving and a business owner. This lady is low class!
Also @30, they obviously know who the people are cause of the receipt and the author contacted the husband by phone and they even mention the woman's age. Author kept the names out of the story. It's stated.
Yes this guy is a computer programmer supposedly, didn't he think to take a vid with his phone? He could have easily gotten enough YT hits to pay for his indignation.
Cienna, you could legally collect DNA evidence from the suspect's home garbage. Just put on some gloves and find some nail clippings, discarded hair, etc.
Actually, I think the article mentioned that the alleged mad pooper and her husband live in a condo, so collecting their garbage would likely be excessively difficult, and privacy-invading.
The fact that the Stranger is devoting this much space to it is downright bizarre.
And Cienna, is the poop still in your fridge or have you decided to destroy valuable evidence?
In any case, with red chili flakes and sunflower seeds, it is human. Now all that you need to do to get your Pulitzer is to talk the woman into giving a DNA sample to compare. I, for one, am excited to see where this mystery goes to next. Maybe it wasn't the woman's shit, but the man who reported it? What a twist that would be!
And the illustration is magnificent. Renault CV4?
@6, James Yamasaki's illustrations make me swoon, especially this one:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/mayor…
I can't imagine any other possibility. Even the most obnoxious of us wouldn't shit on the street unless there were some deep underlying mental issues. We all know that everyone has cell phone cameras and one internet post is far reaching and never dies.
That poor man should have simply fessed up and apologized for his wife, and cleaned up. But imagine the horror of watching someone you love slowly lose everything that makes them 'THEM'.
You might not react soundly or graciously in that situation either.
Keep up the great work!!
Welcome to my second favorite website!
Love you all, roughly and repeatedly.
Your writing is right up my alley!So to speak.
Poo-litzer prize material.
I'm torn, because my first impulse is that this is quite possibly the most amazing and hilarious story I've seen in a while, but then there's something that screams: something isn't right.
I think #15 may have it, sounds like dementia and that's a very very sad thing.
She's driving, though??
Let's not get all misty eyed in sympathy here, folks.
Yes this guy is a computer programmer supposedly, didn't he think to take a vid with his phone? He could have easily gotten enough YT hits to pay for his indignation.
More Turd Noir please!
#15's idea came to mind as well.
And #39, it's just pee. Prude.
Only if it's out on the curb, right?
Actually, I think the article mentioned that the alleged mad pooper and her husband live in a condo, so collecting their garbage would likely be excessively difficult, and privacy-invading.