Don't listen to adults who tell you "what you should or shouldn't do" when it comes how to dress, what tattoos to get or anything else.

Trust me, us "adults" have no idea what we are doing either. An office full of adult professionals is just as mean girl clique as any high school so don't think we know everything (we do know some stuff, but not as much as pretentious comics for the Stranger thinks).

First, great job on the advice written here.

- Ditto on the eyebrows - do NOT screw with them so much that you have to paint them on the rest of your life.

- Don't start permanently dying your hair before you really have to. It's hard on your hair and it's a lot of money going out the door. (Plus, if you hate roots, it's a bitch to grow out.)

- Don't be fat now. Not a hater but really, if ever you should look good, it's while your skin and your hair and the rest of you is young and fresh.

- Moderation in all things. That doesn't mean don't push yourself or test limits; it's just means you can't live life to the limit all the time.

- Be nice to your parents now (unless they are abusive). Most parents truly try to do their best and you will be sorry someday when they die and you didn't give them credit for their love and effort.

- Please remember that what you do now (unless it's illegal and you get caught) is NOT going to follow you the rest of your life. People make mistakes and that goes double for young people. It's okay. (And forgive yourself first without waiting for others to do so.)

BUT the corollary to that is: LEARN from your mistakes. If you keep doing the same dumb stuff, over and over, then you are really dumb.

- Don't think that you deserve a bonus/raise/special favors at work after six months. Don't tell your life story at work (really, no one cares). Be professional in your work life and it will get paid back to you in spades when other people your age act like whiny children.

- Do not allow yourself to be abused - verbally or physically - in a relationship. No one deserves that and yes, you do deserve better.

- From Michael Pollard, eat real food (one of his best "don't eat anything your grandmother would not recognize as food.")

- Don't smoke. Expensive, unhealthy and your face will pay for it.

- Read. Anything. But read.

Now go out there and set your world on fire.

I've drilled into my kid's brain 5 things to avoid at all costs:

No pregnancies
No debt
No DUIs
No felonies
No addictions

These five things will change your life, follow you forever, and possibly ruin you. Everything else is fair game -- go have fun and find your path.

He's 19 and spent the summer living with the Rainbow family in South Dakota, traveling around the east coast, then ending up on Europe -- buying a bicycle off someone, traveling around Northern France, and camping on Normandy beaches. Very proud! (though after 4 weeks back in Seattle, we are ready for him to get the hell out of the house again)

A kid has a Mohawk and doesn't know who the Ramones are...and his eyebrows are just awful. What hath god wrought? Great stuff here - it reminded me of days gone by when Ellen Forney would be part of the back to school issues and the Stranger. Alas.

More fun graphic parables from Emily Nokes, please.

Ditto on the eyebrows.

I'm hoping Minoxidil will grow mine out, although one has been fucked for decades.