Features Nov 22, 2016 at 4:00 am

How to Have the Worst Thanksgiving Ever (On Purpose)

Fuck the Orphan Friendsgiving. Wallow in That Self-Pity and Despair. Embrace Misery.

Stranger Staff
Have a crappy Thanksgiving! Levi Hastings
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Comments

3
WOW!! The regressive left really does go out of their way to look for ways to be a victim.
Cato the Younger Younger on November 23, 2016 at 10:05 AM Report this
4
Mr Savage, all of the staff;
we hope you all have nice Thanksgivings.
Commentor ComItatus on November 23, 2016 at 10:11 AM Report this
5
The Stranger needs to get away from the doom and gloom.

That was quite possibly one of the more depressing things I've read in quite some time. Ugh.
GhostDog on November 23, 2016 at 10:30 AM Report this
6
I'm surprised such a "disruptive" publication advocates being a prisoner to the calendar. If you can't appreciate two whole work days off, and a nice long 4-day weekend, then you are not working hard enough at your job or school.
Jeebus999 on November 23, 2016 at 11:46 AM Report this
7
Joe's is great. If you want a truly depressing Thanksgiving, go to a bar that's just mediocre. I think that would be worse.
care bear on November 23, 2016 at 11:50 AM Report this
8
You're all being too upscale. Instead of a bar and dinner somewhere, count up your penny jar to buy a loaf of cheap bread and some turkey lunchmeat. Sit at home despondently eating dry sandwiches because you couldn't afford any condiments. That'll give you a Thanksgiving to remember!
deadrose on November 23, 2016 at 12:14 PM Report this
9
Best Thanksgiving EVER knowing that the Republic has dodged a bullet and will have a chance to survive the next four years. This is coupled by the fact that the cocksuckers at The Stranger have lost everything.
If things get too bad, they can always move to Saudi Arabia. I'm sure they'll fit right in with their fellow Clinton supporters in the House of Saud.
Don Ward on November 23, 2016 at 6:06 PM Report this
10
The Dow jumps, society is oddly more confident, and the world hasnt ended - yet it has for the liberal nay-sayers and now they have nothing left to contribute except, maybe, "the wallow" factor. Im alone, told the stress-magnets of political family and friends, "no thank you" this year, and I feel great. Happy Thanksgiving "The Stranger" staff! and in the "prophetic" and immortal words of Margo Channing, "Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy four-years.”
Seattlebcc on November 24, 2016 at 6:47 PM Report this
11
Love this. We moved to Seattle eight years ago - drove a moving van through the 2008 "snowpocalypse" - and arrived in the U District December 23. With no friends in town and all possessions still in boxes, we spent Christmas Eve at the Jack-in-the-Box on the Ave. Our first glimpse of our new city and our new neighborhood. It was depressing, though I suppose at least we had each other.
Like in this piece, we now have a story about a sad holiday, plus we now appreciate friends and family so much more.
McBomber on November 24, 2016 at 8:57 PM Report this
12
I ate chips and "salsa" (what was left of my tomato sauce), drank a couple beers at Shorty's, and continued my Shameless binge. It's now 5am. I'm waiting an hour until 5 Point happy hour because there was a stack of people taking up my seat last night at 8pm. I'm delirious from lack of sleep. Booze and grease will send me to bed just as the sun comes up. Happy Thanksgiving.
snapshotist on November 25, 2016 at 5:09 AM Report this
13
PSA: No morning happy hour the day after Thanksgiving at the 5 Point.
snapshotist on November 25, 2016 at 8:39 PM Report this

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