How Not to Be a Ding-Dong in the Woods

One of the best parts of living in Seattle is getting out into the wilderness. Here's how to do that and not die.

Comments

1

Good piece, Katie, but that first item on the list should be "map and compass." One doesn't work well without the other.

2

Why are you constantly using the Male sex organ in reference to things that are bad or at least annoying. Don't be sexist. Use your own junk in reference to things you don't like.

3

"Don't go out in the woods today or you're in for a big surprise...."

5

@3 Nicely done

6

"Washington Trails Association has good overall reviews with occasional inaccuracies. (A recent hike said to be eight miles ended up being more like ten.) "

There are a few errors on WTA, but the hiking distance thing is not an error, it is people with GPS thinking GPS is right when it is wrong.

I know, GPS is super accurate! Right? Yes, when it is telling you where you are at any given point, it is super accurate. But GPS is NOT ACCURATE for hiking distance. It has to estimate, and since you are not hiking in a straight line (usually) it is usually wrong, by about %10-%15 too much .

So please people, STOP POSTING ON WTA THAT THE MILEAGE IS WRONG! It is not wrong, you and your GPS are wrong. Thanks.

7

@2:

Maybe she's referring to a particular brand of confectionery snack - not EVERYTHING has to be about YOUR junk you know.

8

@4: Ahh, orienteering...that takes me back.

@6: I remember using a map and a small length of string to gauge trail distance.

10

@2

Don't be Deficient In Common Knowledge. And don't be someone who Can't Understand Normal Thinking.

11

Few more:
1) at a narrow point in the trail, downhill gives way to uphill
2) I don't care if your JBXTubeie200 has 12 hour battery life and is super cute, NO MUSIC!
3) be quiet...

12

And for GAWD's SAKE, leave the blutooth speaker at home!!

13

Or...just don’t go. Stay home, take your selfies in a restaurant next to a beautiful plate of food. Nature not only doesn’t care about you - it doesn’t need you, and it is better off if you stay away.