Where is your personal agency? Grow a pair. For starters, you should never have agreed to "go for a walk on the beach" with your boss. You were codependent in violating a boundary right there. Why is it so hard for people to say "No" in such situations? If you're passive, you're being dependent. And if you're worried about appearing "bitter or mean," don't say it in a bitter or mean way. The rest is his problem.

Honestly... The beer industry is full of snobs and rich people... Go work for Oly or something... You'll probably be treated better than with nerds.

@1 She didn't elaborate as to whether she accepted the invitations and actually took multiple walks on the beach with the dude. Maybe she took one walk with him and stopped when she realized that he had ulterior motives.

Additionally, when she said she didn't want to come off as bitter or mean or difficult to work with, she probably meant that she didn't want to be blacklisted from the beer industry.

This was such a good read, right down to the clockwork reaction of @1 showing up and being highly emotional, turning all his romance and mommy issues into transference.

Fuckin' Chads.

Hang in there kid, 37 is just around the corner and then you'll be invisible.

7 nah yer good til 38. That's when your voice gets shrill and you turn into a fishwife.

I dunno. When a guy asks you out, and you say no, and he says he understand... that should not be a relationship killer? I mean It's certainly professional inappropriate, but the author did nothing to convey how that made the job difficult for her. Should he have attempted a personal relationship with an employee? No. But if you can't take "I understand" for an answer, I don't know how you have a thick enough skin to be a bartender. I was a barback for 4 months and I got maybe 5% of the attention the bartenders got and I'm not one to let people talk smack in my face.

I hope you left some of those Chads hanging...

Okay sorry. I've heard similar stories across a lot of industries, especially ones dominated by small shops with no HR departments. It isn't always sexism, but it is often enough. There's not a great solution either, because inevitably you can't predict which future employer will be pissed off that there are bad bosses out there, and which will either be overly "protective" or feel somehow betrayed.

@4 it's sadly not at all limited to American men, and while it certainly seems to happen more to women, it's also a thing that happens to younger men. In my experiences, sometimes it's poor social skills, possibly verging on disability, and sometimes it's power posturing. There's a culture (perhaps especially among certain kinds of expert groups) of interrupting and not taking breaks to let others talk that I think we need to explicitly educate against before we will see progress on this front though, and even then... eh.

Oh, and @9, cool story bro.

@9 and @1: get fucked.

@1 and @9 - I'm going to assume that both of you are named Chad, have a beard, and spend copious amounts of time and energy "educating" women about how wrong they are about their own life experiences - both in person and online.

I’ve worked in the Seattle Beer industry for 16 years and treated women with nothing but respect. I’ve also learned a hell of a lot about beer from female brewers and male brewers. The author sounds super sensitive, over emotional, and clearly has a problem pointing the finger. She is simply trying to make something out of nothing. Stick to writing to your diary and stop wasting people’s time with your over dramatic “woe is me” mentality. We have way more important issues to address other than your “me too” moment.

Surprise, surprise, some of the people in this comments thread are trash. I think you'd be surprised @15, how some of those women that you've treated with "nothing but respect" view your interactions with them.

I'm glad this was written and published. Seattle beard-and-beer Bros need to shape up.

Aw come on @16 - you’re reaching...my wife, sisters, co-workers, clients, and friends view our interactions with respect and dignity. Not all of us are bad, bearded or bros. But, you’re certainly! entitled to your opinion...educated or not.

@15 is clearly a parody of what a man would say, right? it is reads like an expert troll post.

@15: Hi Meinert!

@1 @9 @15 hahahahahhaha

hahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahha

hahhahahahhahahahhahahahahahahhahahaha

get over yourselves, my dudes <3

@rockyboy and @barrel-aged, first of all, fuck off and stop being so (passive)aggressive about this shit. Secondly, as a man who works in the brewing world, or, you know, the “Ballard brewery district” or some such name as they call it now, women are severely underserved and underrepresented in this industry. Where do you get off saying that somebody should just “grow a pair”!? We NEED women in this industry, and your comments are just another example of dudes flexing their privilege and telling people to be quiet. This is something that needs to be heard and seen, and if it doesn’t, the industry will stay the same as it is, with mostly white dudes making beer. Doesn’t it stand to reason that diversifying our labor pool will make the beer that people enjoy better and more interesting? I mean, it just makes sense, especially since we can all agree that women and POC can make the same logical and professional decisions about standard labor and practices, RIGHT? Or, are you trying to argue that women and POC aren’t as talented as white dudes? I just don’t understand your argument without you making the case of being a bigot.

@21. "as a man who works in the brewing world".
Yeah, riiiiiiiiiiiight. Okay "man" who works in the "brewing world". Nice try. Go spread your woke religion trolling somewhere else. No one is buying. :)

@1 and @9 make me realize that lining up the bigots against a wall and causing them to expire from acute lead poisoning would make the world a better place. But only very temporarily, because the attitude about brute force it would reinforce would inevitably breed a reign of terror that would undermine everybody's liberty. The only real fix is slower, gentler, and more prolonged remedies. But dayamm, bigots f*cking suck.

Good piece, but most of the commenters really suck.

@25 Not me!

@8; Sure...while you grow nose hair, a butt crack deep enough to park a Cadillac, and a potbelly.
@14: It's time to come up from your Mother's fruit cellar and breathe some fresh air outdoors before the formaldehyde sinks in, Norman.