Nathalie Graham, a staff writer at The Stranger, wrote in a March 2019 report on Emerald City Comic Con that an artist had made a portrait of Hermione Granger out of Skittles. It was made out of jelly beans. We regret the error.

In the December 18 issue of The Stranger, we wrote that Bertha, the tunnel-boring machine that got stuck under downtown Seattle and took nearly four years to go 9,000 feet, was named after "Washington State's first woman governor." In fact, Washington State's first woman governor was Dixy Lee Ray. Bertha was named after Seattle's first woman mayor, Bertha Knight Landes. We regret the error.

In the July 31 issue of The Stranger, half of the Free Will Astrology column was printed in some crazy-ass font. We regret the error.

In the November 20 issue of The Stranger, we printed the word "follotwed." That is not a word. We regret the error.

Jess Stein, The Stranger's art director, personally drew 2,000 tiny circles by hand in an illustration accompanying a piece about Orbeez in our January 16 issue, which took her the better part of a day. She regrets the error.

Charles Mudede regrets that the words "I have no regrets" are missing from his December 2 Slog post "Blame for the Deadly Crash on Aurora Avenue Must Not Be Placed on the Driver."

In an April 9 post on Slog, The Stranger's blog, music critic Dave Segal recommended attending a DJ night featuring three ex-members of Gang of Four. We regret the error. As it turned out, while their song selection was mostly solid, the ex-members of Gang of Four used a laptop, consistently made poor transitions, left occasional dead air, and played the same Talking Heads song twice in one hour.

David Lewis, a Stranger intern who is also a part-time Seattle tour guide, regrets telling tourists that a random house was where Ted Bundy killed somebody, leaving the owner in the window puzzled as to why people were taking pictures in front of it.

In the February 27 issue of The Stranger, in a story on Howard Schultz, we quoted the "former head of the state party chair." Chairs do not have heads. We regret the error.

In The Stranger's December 18 Decade in Review issue, managing editor Leilani Polk wrote that the Seahawks went to the Super Bowl for the first time in 2005. In fact, it was the 2005 season that took the Seahawks to the 2006 Super Bowl. Ms. Polk deeply regrets the error, as well as the fact that no one else in the editorial department gives a fuck or even knows what a football is.

Rich Smith, who sometimes writes about food for The Stranger, regrets every second of his life that he lived without a Dutch oven, which he received last year for his 34th birthday. Mr. Smith used to braise meat in some other pot he no longer remembers now. He regrets the error.

For the last two years, The Stranger's Pet Issue has featured an Ugly Pet Contest winner on the cover. Shortly after a dog named Sharky won the contest in 2018 and appeared on our cover, Sharky died. Then, shortly after a dog named BB Gunn won the contest in 2019 and appeared on our cover, BB Gunn died. We regret the curse of the Ugly Pet Contest and promise to retire it in 2020, as we do not want the blood of any more adorable (if ugly) pets on our hands. Pour one out for BB Gunn and Sharky.

Jasmyne Keimig, a culture writer at The Stranger, regrets sending the wrong link to singer-songwriter Juan Wauters after he asked her to e-mail him a concert preview she had written about him. Ms. Keimig meant to send her January 24 article about his show at the Crocodile Back Bar. Instead, she accidentally sent him a link to her essay "Places I Have Masturbated."

Stranger music writer Dave Segal regrets that writing obituaries about musicians is one of the highlights of his job.

Associate editor Eli Sanders regrets feeling rushed in the summer of 2015 when he went out to speedily report on Seattle's "secret" public beaches, which exist (by law!) everywhere a Seattle street dead-ends at water, providing the masses with secluded waterfront property next to multimillion-dollar estates—if they just know where to look. Had Mr. Sanders known the resulting article would become one of the most-read and republished stories he has ever written (this past summer it ran once again and people still clicked the shit out of it), he would have instead proposed a thorough, months-long investigation into Seattle's secret beaches that involved expensing beach towels, cabanas, cabana boys, mint juleps, and a masseur to help him deal with the stress of it all. Oh well.

Forty-seven percent of Washington voters regret Tim Eyman.

Tim Eyman regrets the security cameras at the Lacey Office Depot.

Nathalie Graham, a staff writer at The Stranger, regrets going as Ty Pennington from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition for Halloween, drinking all the White Claws she stuffed in her tool belt, trying to ride an Uber Jump bike home, not even getting the Uber Jump bike in motion, toppling over, hitting her face on a cinder block, and breaking her two front teeth.

Charles Mudede regrets that the words "I have no regrets" are missing from his April 17 Slog post "How ISIS's Radicalization Techniques Can Help You Reduce Personal Debt."

Stranger staff writer Katie Herzog recently began taking her elderly neighbor's dog for walks, after which the dog developed a troubling obsession with Ms. Herzog and now sits in the corner of his yard staring at her house and whining all day like a fucking incel. Ms. Herzog learned a valuable lesson about helping from this experience. She regrets the error.

In February, Stranger culture writer Jasmyne Keimig misidentified the marine mammal in a portrait hanging on the wall at General Porpoise Doughnuts as "General Porpoise." The figure is neither a general nor a porpoise, but an Admiral Dolphin. We regret the error.

Digital managing editor Leilani Polk regrets not making sure her cell phone was secure (and password protected, and insured) while attending Capitol Hill Block Party in 2019. At some point while hopping between Phantogram (who were okay) and the Black Tones (who were great), she dropped it, or it fell out of her too-shallow jacket pocket, or it was swiped by a pickpocket, and Ms. Polk only realized this fact about 15 minutes after leaving the music festival because some dear friends were in town distracting her from her screen. It was one of the most fun nights out Ms. Polk had all year, but it was also one of the costliest, as the replacement phone cost $825.74.

The City of Seattle regrets its flag design, which looks like a sperm impregnating an egg containing Chief Seattle.

In the July 31 Women in Power issue, we profiled Sarah Traver of Traver Gallery. The article said that Traver received her MFA from the University of Washington, when in fact, Traver received a BFA from the university. We regret the error.

Staff writer Lester Black regrets failing to record a phone call he had with a Proud Boy following his Slog post that broke the news the Proud Boys were working with the state's anti-affirmative-action campaign. During the call, between racist diatribes and idiotic talking points, the Proud Boy demonstrated the most stunning mix of burps, grunts, farts, and other guttural bodily sounds imaginable.

In the February 27 issue of The Stranger, we printed the word "contruct." That is not a word. We regret the error.

Rich Smith, The Stranger's book critic, who in 2019 quit smoking after 15 years, regrets every cigarette he smoked during the last three years, with a few truly extraordinary exceptions, including every one he smoked while reading a book. He regrets maintaining the habit for so long, however, especially when the switch to the gum, via vaping, was 95 percent painless.

Chase Burns, digital editor at The Stranger, regrets not going to Suika's world-class happy hour every single night over the past year. For only $10, their ten-bero set comes with a pint of Sapporo and your choice of either sake or a Moscow Mule, plus a rotating flight of appetizers. It will "make you bero bero (=very drunk)," as the happy hour menu reads.

Amazon regrets trying to buy the Seattle City Council election.

Egan Orion, failed candidate for city council, regrets the posters his campaign put up around Capitol Hill shouting "NO CORPORATE PAC MONEY." While it's technically true that Orion's campaign didn't directly take money from corporate PACs—because that's illegal and not how PACs work for any candidate—Orion was one of the biggest beneficiaries of corporate PAC spending in the 2019 city council elections, and the voters knew it, and therefore those posters made him look like a weasel who thought his constituents were dumb.

Heidi Wills, another losing city council candidate last year, regrets that while Seattle's righteous lefties like to talk a big game about "restorative justice" and letting people out of jail because jail is bad, she is still, to this day, being punished for Strippergate, which happened in fucking 2003. Wills paid her $1,500 Strippergate fine, she did her Strippergate "time" as a political outcast (no jail involved!), and yet people are still talking about Strippergate like she murdered Ivar Haglund on the Kalakala.

Nathalie Graham, a staff writer at The Stranger, regrets that she did not masturbate her cat.

Nathalie Graham, a staff writer at The Stranger who did not masturbate her cat, would like to clarify that her cat was in heat due to a mix-up at the vet. The cat has since been snipped and fixed, but Ms. Graham's aunt, who is a vet, informed her at Thanksgiving that she could have gotten the cat out of heat by sticking a Q-tip in the cat. Essentially fucking the cat with the Q-tip. Ms. Graham regrets that she has learned this information, that she will never be able to unlearn it, and that she did not bring any relief to her horny cat in its time of need.

Stranger copy chief Gillian Anderson regrets the death of the Apostrophe Protection Society, seeing it as just one more example of our ongoing slide into comfortable grammar mediocrity and the end of considered meaning.

On July 2, Stranger music writer Dave Segal published a Slog post with the headline "New Game Alert: Kenny G Keepin' It Saxy." We regret the error.

In her review of Good Kisser at the Seattle International Film Festival, staff writer Jasmyne Keimig stated that director Wendy Jo Carlton's queer web series Easy Abby was available on Amazon Prime and that Carlton lived in Chicago for 15 years. The web series is actually available on Revry.tv and Carlton lived in Chicago for only 12 years. We regret the errors.

Associate editor Eli Sanders regretfully admits that he would have enjoyed one more debate featuring Marianne Williamson.

In the July 31 print issue of The Stranger, when the copy editor was on vacation, we misspelled US representative Pramila Jayapal's name twice in a profile of her: in giant letters in the sub-headline, and also in the large letters of a pull quote. In another article in that same issue, we misspelled Seattle City Council member Teresa Mosqueda's first name in a photo caption. The July 31 edition just so happened to be the Women in Power issue, and these errors were the fault of print editor Christopher Frizzelle, who is a man.

Christopher Frizzelle, print editor at The Stranger, regrets that he did not realize back in July that Teresa Mosqueda's first name does not have an "h" in it, although you better believe he knows it now. Mr. Frizzelle further regrets the ease and convenience with which the software program InCopy lets him rewrite headlines, captions, and pull quotes directly on the page after the art department has designed it, thus allowing him to introduce misspellings in a way that can make them easy to miss in the final proofreading stage. Adding an "h" to "Teresa" was a bad assumption on his part, but understandable. What was egregious in that issue was Mr. Frizzelle transposing the "p" and the "y" in "Jayapal" as he typed a pull quote onto the page, and then no one noticing, and then the page going to the printer that way. Mr. Frizzelle's colleagues in the newsroom have referred to his mistakes in the Women in Power issue as "bad," "really bad," "unfortunate," and "horrifying."

Staff writer Lester Black, whose byline appeared on the piece about Council Member Teresa Mosqueda, and whose photograph accompanied it, also regrets that her name was misspelled in print, because the sloppy error distracted from the import of Mr. Black's piece, which was that Mosqueda and Council Member Lorena Gonzalez were going to be taking simultaneous maternity leaves—a first in city hall history—and that they both had new policy ideas for working mothers in Seattle, given their perspective on the subject. Not to rub salt into the wound, but for the record, Mr. Black spelled Mosqueda's first name correctly in the story's first draft, then corrected it three more times in subsequent drafts after Mr. Frizzelle, still thinking there was an "h" in her first name, kept adding it back. However, Mr. Black is not blameless. He regrets reporting Mosqueda's parents traveled to Honduras when they in fact had traveled to Nicaragua.

Chase Burns, digital editor of The Stranger, regrets that he still doesn't know how to use the word "whom."

Charles Mudede regrets that the words "I have no regrets" are missing from the February 6 Slog post "Gloves Are Ugly."

In a review of Chavisa Woods's 100 Times: A Memoir of Sexism, Rich Smith, book critic at The Stranger, misidentified the author's birthplace as St. Louis, Missouri. Woods was actually raised in Southern Illinois. He regrets the error as much as he regrets the existence of Southern Illinois, with the notable exception of the nice college town of Carbondale. Go Salukis.

Stranger staff writer Dave Segal regrets that he needs to spend more than an hour a day deleting hundreds of e-mails so that his inbox won't fill up. It is a tedious task, but it's necessary so he can keep receiving future e-mails—most of which he will later have to delete. On a side note, Segal's favorite book by Albert Camus is The Myth of Sisyphus.

David Lewis, an intern at The Stranger, regrets that when the lead singer of Bad Brains was his roommate for three months, he did not listen to more of his music and once asked him, "Are you on SoundCloud?"

Nathalie Graham, a staff writer at The Stranger, regrets that she started watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians just, you know, as a joke. Ms. Graham has now watched 10 seasons. Still as a joke. She swears.

Crosscut regrets creating an entire feature package about Washington wildfires during peak wildfire season in 2019, especially because peak wildfire season never came.

Visual art and culture writer Jasmyne Keimig does not regret starting to watch The L Word at the age of 25.

In the June 5 issue of The Stranger, a piece about karaoke contained the sentence: "I used to be one of those people who were too embarrassed by my objectively bad signing to take the stage." We regret the error, and any unintended offense it may have caused to the deaf community.

In the spring edition of our quarterly arts magazine Seattle Art and Performance, we wrote that Peter Bagge created a comic called Rage, when obviously the comic was called Hate. We regret the error.

In the December 18 issue of The Stranger, an editorial designer accidentally added an errant lowercase v onto the beginning of artist Paul Rucker's name, which made us look like we were on drugs. Granted, we are often on drugs when creating The Stranger, but we were not on drugs that particular day. We regret the error.

Stranger staff writer Lester Black regrets using the term "ropes" to describe the "lines" sailors use to guide their boats in a May 22 feature story about Duck Dodge, a weekly summer boat race in Lake Union. Mr. Black also regrets that this error, combined with his detailed description of a BDSM sex scene playing out on one of the sailboats, lost him favor with the local sailing community which he was hoping to infiltrate for free access to boat parties.

In the May 22 issue of The Stranger, in a write-up about the Specials, we made a reference to Jerry Dammers performing, but it should have said Horace Panter was doing the show. Apparently, there's some sort of rift between the band and Dammers, so it's a sensitive area. We regret whatever we stepped in there.

Associate editor Eli Sanders regrets editing and then hitting publish on a long profile of Seattle City Council member Debora Juarez, who has been an elected official for years, in which Juarez's name was repeatedly misspelled.

We regret several errors we published in a May 2 Slog post titled "Soap Maker Dr. Bronner's Is Getting into the Cannabis Game." Turns out, Brother David's cannabis brand is an independent venture launched by Dr. Bronner's CEO David Bronner, but not actually by the soap company. Also, David Bronner is not "the" Dr. Bronner after whom the company is named. Dr. Bronner, the company founder, was David's grandfather Emanuel Bronner, a German Jewish soap maker who fled to the US during the Nazi regime and founded the soap company. He is the one responsible for the content on the Dr. Bronner's soap label known as the Moral ABC. We further regret the headache we may have caused you simply by explaining these errors.

Stranger staff writer Dave Segal regrets that despite his many strident blog posts championing the benefits of a vegan lifestyle, more than 90 percent of the population continues to reject veganism, including Chase Burns, Nathalie Graham, Charles Mudede, Leilani Polk, Eli Sanders, Gillian Anderson, Jasmyne Keimig, Rich Smith, Katie Herzog, Christopher Frizzelle, Dan Savage, and even Lester Black, who is vegetarian.

The Stranger's editorial department regrets the Egan Orion ad that appeared on the cover wrap of our October 9 Endorsements Issue. The ad directly contradicted the issue's content, it sent the wrong message to people who don't actually read inside the paper and only judge it based on what's on the cover, and it confused a lot of readers while making a whole lot of other readers pissed off. This problem was no one's fault except, again, print editor Christopher Frizzelle, who ought to have been able to imagine what the cover text that said "ENDORSEMENTS" was going to look like right above an ad for a candidate we did not endorse. That Mr. Frizzelle has retained a job at The Stranger for as many years as he has remains inexplicable.

In the February 27 issue of The Stranger, we forgot a couple letters in Elliott Smith's name. We regret the error.

Staff writer Katie Herzog regrets living in an era when people think the appropriate response to an ideological disagreement is to e-mail legal@thestranger.com.

Vibrant Arts, Seattle's newest monthly (?) arts publication, regrets ever getting into the publishing-a-free-magazine business.

Stranger intern David Lewis regrets that as a professional audience member, he knew T-Pain won the Masked Singer months before anybody else did but did not use this insider information to gamble.

Charles Mudede regrets writing the Slog post "What to Make of the Lioness Who Killed and Ate Her Cubs After They Were Born." It was a slow day.

Staff writer Lester Black regrets misidentifying Jessica Do with a different activist's name while covering a January rally held in opposition to Donald Trump's fucked-up decision to try to deport Vietnamese immigrants who came to the United States following the Vietnam War.

Staff writer Jasmyne Keimig does not regret supporting the heroes who were committed to storming Area 51 in September—this one's for you, boys!

In the December 4 story "The Seattle Man Who Is Memorizing an Unreadable Novel," Charles Mudede claimed Neal Kosaly-Meyer would recite from memory the first part of the sixth chapter of James Joyce's novel Finnegans Wake at the Chapel Performance Space on December 14. However, Mr. Mudede was dead wrong. Mr. Kosaly-Meyer was going to recite all of the sixth chapter of that unreadable novel.

Digital managing editor Leilani Polk regrets that she is still using Facebook.

In the October 23 issue of The Stranger, in a pull quote in big type, we spelled sanatorium as "santitorum," which was a little too close to "santorum" for anyone's comfort. We further regret splashing that image against the walls of your mind and letting it trickle down into your brain folds.

Digital editor Chase Burns regrets mis-crediting production photos of the Broadway tour of Mark Morris Dance Group's The Hard Nut. Mat Hayward took those photos, and man, that nut was hard.

Stranger staff writer Dave Segal regrets the miserable turnout for comedian Andy Kindler at Laughs Comedy Club on November 1. Considered one of the funniest people in America by fellow comics and others who understand nuanced humor, Kindler made Segal laugh until he cried until he hyperventilated.

Rich Smith, who writes about performance for The Stranger, deeply regrets not writing a full and glowing review of Seattle Dance Collective's first show, Program One. The midsummer trip out to Vashon Center for the Arts, where the show premiered, was a highlight in and of itself, as was gossiping with locals over rosé about the Vashon Island resident who'd recently been shot by police officers for staging an armed attack against the Tacoma Northwest Detention Center. The show's choreography was superb, and the dancers were clearly having a lot of fun with the smaller venue. The evening's sappy host, however, could have been taken down a peg. Credit where credit is due and all, but owning a sprung floor does not earn the level of self-regard on display from the host that evening. And how many times can someone say "honored" in a single introduction?? Anyhow, as you can tell, there was much to say that went unsaid due to time constraints, circumstances, and Smith's reluctance to write reviews of shows he's previewed.

For the August 28 issue of The Stranger, editorial designer Rachelle Abellar created a Bumbershoot BINGO card that included an illustration of Lizzo. As anyone who bought a $130 single-day ticket just to see Lizzo knows, Lizzo ended up canceling her appearance at the last minute, due to a severe sinus infection. We regret sinus infections.

Digital editor Chase Burns regrets getting into "twaxing," which is when you add a cannabis concentrate to your flower before you smoke it. Don't ask Mr. Burns what he did while twaxing, because he can't remember.

Staff writer Lester Black regrets procrastinating about mailing his lease renewal back to his landlord. Because a week later, the landlord feigned ignorance of the earlier renewal contract and sent him a new contract with a 10 percent rent increase. Mr. Black also regrets being a renter during a housing crisis.

Council Member Mike O'Brien regrets not running for reelection—he must—after hindsight showed that his opponents at the Chamber of Commerce had no idea what Ballard voters wanted and a late infusion of $1 million from Amazon would have almost certainly ensured his reelection.

Shegan Orion regrets wearing espadrilles to Candidate Survivor.

The espadrilles regret being worn by Shegan Orion.

Ari Hoffman regrets nothing, which is the most regrettable thing about Ari Hoffman.

We regret publishing the recurring parody column Booty-Judge Judy. As many readers have pointed out, it was in poor taste, even if it did help educate the public about the pronunciation of Buttigieg.

Eli Sanders, host of The Stranger's Blabbermouth podcast, regrets that as a listener recently pointed out, he still, to this day, despite working for the publication that printed those two installments of Booty-Judge Judy, isn't pronouncing Buttigieg correctly.

Christopher Frizzelle, print editor of The Stranger, regrets Elizabeth Warren's recent slump in the polls, especially considering her brilliance, her background, her messaging discipline, her ability to tell a compelling story, and her plans, including a wealth tax, student-loan forgiveness, and ending corruption. Mr. Frizzelle further regrets that the friends of his who are most hesitant about Ms. Warren are white Democratic women who say their main issue is that they do not like the sound of her voice.

Rich Smith, who writes about books, theater, and politics for The Stranger, and is most excited about Bernie Sanders among the 2020 candidates, regrets Joe Biden. Of the Bidens who could possibly be running for president, Joe is perhaps Mr. Smith's third choice, behind the ghost of Beau, who seemed like a nice guy, and Hunter, who at least is honest about his fossil-fuel connections. Nevertheless, come November, Mr. Smith and the rest of his colleagues at The Stranger will solemnly cast our vote for whatever remains of Joe Biden's body following the bruising and thoroughly stupid Democratic primary.

Charles Mudede, a socialist, regrets that he suffers from a disease long attributed to the rich, gout.

In his feature for the Back to School Issue, "The Perks of Dating Older People," Stranger staff writer Dave Segal wrote, "It may behoove you to listen to and learn from people who blossomed in the crucible of first-wave feminism." Segal actually meant second-wave feminism; the first wave occurred in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, and those from that generation—if indeed they're still alive—should not be dating college students.

Nathalie Graham, a staff writer at The Stranger, regrets that she started wearing glasses when she didn't really need to and has since permanently ruined her vision.

In 2019, digital managing editor Leilani Polk discovered champagne (aka Ataúlfo) mangoes, a smaller, golden variation of the juicy stone fruit with deep yellow, non-fibrous (non-stringy) flesh, and a very thin pit. She regrets not eating more of them when they were in season—it was almost as if she'd never eaten a mango until those rich, sweetly luscious, buttery bits hit her lips.

Stranger intern David Lewis regrets every single time he has ever gone on Twitter in his life, last year included.

Stranger writer Eli Sanders regrets that it was only last year that President Donald Trump ordered a massive spread of "McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King, with some pizza" to be laid out in an ornate reception room, on a fancy table featuring candelabras, to mark a victorious college football team's White House visit. It seems like so much longer ago that happened.

The Stranger regrets that there is no such thing as hell, because that's exactly where that fucker David Koch should have gone after croaking in August.

Former Empire actor Jussie Smollett regrets that Subway doesn't deliver.

Charles Mudede, a longtime writer and editor at The Stranger, regrets the new cat that has become a part of his family in Columbia City. The cat is black. His name is T'Challa. He is no superhero. In fact, Mr. Mudede believes this black cat is too obsessed with inanimate objects. He jumps at this or that still thing. He always has something in his mouth. And he has made friends with a doll.

Stranger staff writer Dave Segal regrets that one Slog commenter who decided last year to stop calling him a "hodad" after every post.

Digital editor Chase Burns regrets that print editor Christopher Frizzelle wrote about Carmelo's Tacos inside the Hillcrest Market on Capitol Hill, because now the line is always down the block. That said, Mr. Burns is happy for Carmelo's, as their tacos are the best in town.

Rich Smith, a Stranger politics writer, regrets not writing a frame-by-frame breakdown of Seattle City Council candidate Egan Orion's concession video, which appeared to be filmed at the candidate's own kitchen table. The only thing more divisive than his promise to promote division by "fight[ing] a little longer and a little harder" against Council Member Kshama Sawant's tenure was that unforgivable sconce by the door. Mr. Smith regrets not publicly ragging on the sconce, but also he also regrets the missed opportunity to compliment the candidate on the iridescent tile work behind the stove, which, unlike Orion's candidacy, provided a nice pop of color and pizzazz in an otherwise dull suburban hellscape.

Nathalie Graham, city hall reporter at The Stranger, regrets that one time she accidentally published an unedited version of an op-ed on the Stranger's website after it had been painstakingly edited. No one noticed for an hour. She regrets that someone had the bright idea to give her this authority.

The Stranger regrets that Monika Khot (who also records electronic music solo as Nordra) and Wolcott Smith of Zen Mother moved to New York City in 2019. They were one of Seattle's most interesting rock groups, and their departure leaves a serious void in our music scene.

Stranger staff writer Dave Segal regrets that 79 percent of the people he talks to at music clubs have breath that reeks of cheap beer and/or cigarettes. He vows in 2020 to offer mints to every halitosis-afflicted person with whom he converses.

Staff writer Lester Black regrets not smoking more weed in 2019 and promises to try harder in 2020.

Charles Mudede regrets that many white men can't see the few white men at the top of our society as their oppressors.