Beware of Volcanoes, Avoid Serial Killers, and Other Advice for People New to Seattle

Plus, how to take a road trip without a car, where to explore in South Seattle, and who has the most power around here.



There are actually four volcanoes visible from Seattle, not three: Mt. Rainier, Mt. Baker, Glacier Peak, and Mt. Adams.


You forgot the most important piece of advice for those thinking of moving to anywhere in western Washington: Fuck off, we're full.


Actually, we're in the middle of Mount Rainier's active period, so don't buy a place in Renton, if you're worried about volcanoes. Super hot boiling mud can go much faster than the fastest car, and if it goes, the only way to survive is stay off the highway and get to the top of one of the ridges.


Also don't use an umbrella.


Someone obviously cares, excrement_partner. That person isn't me, but someone... somewhere.


Carry an umbrella, sure
but Never Use it. Unless
it's to pick up litter or road
kill which goes into the Dumpster
just be sure to check inside for Homeless
first who can cook just about Anything, nowadays.