Features Oct 9, 2008 at 4:00 am

I Hate to Play the I-Just-Watched-My-Mother-Die Card—But, Um, I Just Watched My Mother Die

Kyle T. Webster

Comments

209
I'm so sorry. I was caregiver for both of my parents. I was with them when they died, 7 years apart, so I know how you feel. I was able to give my father morphine, but my mother struggled for hours to breathe. it was awful and it was my sisters directive - i couldn't do a thing but hold onto her.
210
I realize this is an older article and I-1000 has already been approved, but I have a hard time accepting the argument from the Golins about this becoming something that could hard their autistic daughter. I voted for the initiative because I believe they have the best safeguards in place for this. An adult must be deemed "competent" by 2 different doctors and must self-administer the drug. That makes it a pure "choice" by the individual.
211
My dad died in 1989, I was 16 (before Hospice/Palliative care was popular, at that time we were told, the family had to request it first or it wasn't offered and insurances didnt cover it either i might add) and I can remember EVERY DETAIL of his 2 month stay in a peach and country blue room to his passing AND yes, the details aren't nice. My father passed from lung cancer that spread from his lungs, stomach, pancreas, adrenal glands and eventually to his brain. I remember the anxiety he had because he couldn't breathe (lung cancer); the pain he felt when he ate, so he only ate nibbles (stomach cancer); the constant and relentless abdominal pain he felt (pancreatic cancer); the horrendous mood changes (adrenal cancer); and lastly the excruciating headaches (brain cancer). I can remember the doctors tell us that he has a good chance of fighting this with chemo and radiation. Gave all of us FALSE HOPE. He did his daily radiation therapy for 6 weeks and NOTHING changed, in fact, his skin broke down from the radiation burns. STILL the doctors gave us FALSE HOPE. I can remember him telling me, I'm done baby girl, I love you. He then slipped in and out of consciousness in pain (that morphine didnt touch) He died that night before his scheduled 6 weeks of chemo. If my dad was given the choice to stop his 6 weeks of treatment that gave him MORE PAIN, MORE NAUSEA, MORE ANXIETY he would have taken it in a heartbeat. He HAD ZERO QUALITY OF LIFE in those last 6 weeks. I am a RN, and I know he was terminal and his death would have been inevitable, he still has the right to decide HOW he dies and I know in my heart if he was given the ACTUAL FACTS of his condition and not FALSE HOPES, he would have chosen medication to ease his death. I have great memories of my dad. I will always be a daddy's girl, but I also have memories of him in agony and wasting away TO THIS DAY 24 YEARS AGO. I am in total agreement and support I-1000. Thank you for help keeping dignity in death. Be thankful your mother had that, I regret that my dad never did.

    Please wait...

    Comments are closed.

    Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.


    Add a comment
    Preview

    By posting this comment, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use.